Why Are Some People Plagued with Chronic Loneliness?

[SophiaGrace]

Well?

Any ideas why this happens?

I mean I guess some people are constantly depressed or anxious about something. But why would someone be chronically Lonely?

 

[Porman]

Because people choose to (willingly or not) be lonely. you only have yourself to blame. You will always be lonely if you say "its not my fault"
If you really want to make friends, you can, you just dont want it bad enough to do something about it.

Its like fat people. They are fat because they choose to be. They say "I would do anything to lose weight!" except diet and excercise...

The moment you give in and say its not your fault, ya messed.

 

[Timeless]

I think sometimes you just lose contact with many of your friends and family. If you live far away from family then you slowly drift away. Along with friends, people get so preoccupied with their own lives that it's easy to lose friendship.

At least for me i feel the same way. I transfered to another college far from my old friends and family. At first i called and imed family and friends alot but slowly not as often and eventually not at all. And then going into the second semester, the friends from my first, i didn't see too much because either they had class when i didn't or vice versa.

I do try and reconnect and meet up with people when i can but people are busy. And eventually it does feel like i'm losing them.

 

[lisais52]

Well?

Any ideas why this happens?

I mean I guess some people are constantly depressed or anxious about something. But why would someone be chronically Lonely?

You said "so f__king money"; did you mean to say other words?

To answer your question. I think a person (me for instance) will be lonely and unhappy if they have no social life.

 

[Badjedidude]

You said "so f__king money"; did you mean to say other words?

Nope. The phrase "So ******* money" can be interpreted as, "so ******* cool/awesome/set up." As far as I know, it originated from the Western U.S, just like every other cheesy phrase we use.

----Steve

 

[lisais52]

I sometimes ask myself how i've had a lonely life.

From the outside there would be no reason, and I have the brains. When I was younger I was very shy. Today i'm battling depression. I guess both have led me into a hole so i'm essentially starting my life from scratch.

I don't cope very well with my lonliness, even though I bottle it all up.


[I'm responding in these quotes; I hope this is correct. Please let me know if I'm posting wrong. Or is this quote for an actual quote?]

I think I know why I have a lonely life. Perhaps I made a mistake leaving my home town and moving away from my family. Even though there were some problems there (always). I always made visits home but fewer and fewer as the years went by. My mom passed away in 05 and I only went back home to visit my sister 1 or 2 times. Her husband doesn't say more then 1 word to me. Her grown daughter says nothing and ignores me (like I'm not there). This same daughter of my sisters always was rude to me and my 2 sons in this way. My sisters X husband is rude (the same way) but he even makes rude statement. Thankfully I've not seen him much but he had the nerve to come to my mothers funeral and treat me like this. This is my sister's 1st husband. I don't really want to visit home again although I've got some nieces that seem to love me.

I'm not involved in anything; I've no social life. This is why I'm so lonely.
This is why other people are lonely to. If a person doesn't interact with others then they are apt to be lonely.

---

I sometimes ask myself how i've had a lonely life.

From the outside there would be no reason, and I have the brains. When I was younger I was very shy. Today i'm battling depression. I guess both have led me into a hole so i'm essentially starting my life from scratch.

I don't cope very well with my lonliness, even though I bottle it all up.


[I'm responding in these quotes; I hope this is correct. Please let me know if I'm posting wrong. Or is this quote for an actual quote?]

I'm sorry you are depressed. I suffer depression also.

I think I know why I have a lonely life. Perhaps I made a mistake leaving my home town and moving away from my family. Even though there were some problems there (always). I always made visits home but fewer and fewer as the years went by. My mom passed away in 05 and I only went back home to visit my sister 1 or 2 times. Her husband doesn't say more then 1 word to me. Her grown daughter says nothing and ignores me (like I'm not there). This same daughter of my sisters always was rude to me and my 2 sons in this way. My sisters X husband is rude (the same way) but he even makes rude statement. Thankfully I've not seen him much but he had the nerve to come to my mothers funeral and treat me like this. This is my sister's 1st husband. I don't really want to visit home again although I've got some nieces that seem to love me.

I'm not involved in anything; I've no social life. This is why I'm so lonely.
This is why other people are lonely to. If a person doesn't interact with others then they are apt to be lonely.

---

I didn't do a good job replying to your post; I'm sorry. You said you were shy when you were young. I can relate to that. I was severely shy growing up. I also made bad choices like going away with the wrong guy and having kids with the wrong guy. Although I'm thankful I have my 2 grown sons. At least I'm close to my sons.

 

[Badjedidude]

Well, no one can force you to post any certain way...

...but for readability's sake, it is easier if you DON'T reply within the quotes. Just quote the text from someone else's post and reply outside of the quote brackets, like this:

quoted stuff here

Reply here.

That keeps it a bit more clear as to what's going on.

----Steve

 

[lisais52]

I think sometimes you just lose contact with many of your friends and family. If you live far away from family then you slowly drift away. Along with friends, people get so preoccupied with their own lives that it's easy to lose friendship.

At least for me i feel the same way. I transfered to another college far from my old friends and family. At first i called and imed family and friends alot but slowly not as often and eventually not at all. And then going into the second semester, the friends from my first, i didn't see too much because either they had class when i didn't or vice versa.

I do try and reconnect and meet up with people when i can but people are busy. And eventually it does feel like i'm losing them.

Yeah I know what you mean; I have to agree with you. I was thinking about old friends I grew up with and I've lost all contact with them. I did meet a few people in college that I also lost contact with. I had a friend I met for coffee that I'd met at a PT school job I had. I still love my friend; her name is Liz and I miss her to. But I lost contact with her also. The more time passes by the more you think you can't try to reconnect. I need to find a church to go to but I just don't want to walk in by myself. But then I would have to. Getting back to you, I think you just have to keep trying to make friends at school. I'm assuming you mean college. I went to college for 3 yrs in IL but I wasn't good at making friends; I was alone even in college.

 

[SophiaGrace]

You said "so f__king money"; did you mean to say other words?

That's a part of my signature. I found it hilarious when I saw Sanal say it so I quoted him and put him in my signature

But it has nothing to do with the actual topic of my post itself.

 

[zishan]

today i am so lonely that i pity myself. i am 32 , better than average looking guy from pakistan. i have good money and intellect . yet lonely . anyways i am typing this at least ill know somebody knows my misery.

 

[Zak]

Well?

Any ideas why this happens?

I mean I guess some people are constantly depressed or anxious about something. But why would someone be chronically Lonely?

You said "so f__king money"; did you mean to say other words?

To answer your question. I think a person (me for instance) will be lonely and unhappy if they have no social life.

You are wrong. She didn't say it. That's part of her signature. I said those lines in a post here and she just quoted me in her signature. A signature has nothing to do with the thread.

 

[Olde shoe]

I think sometimes you just lose contact with many of your friends and family. If you live far away from family then you slowly drift away. Along with friends, people get so preoccupied with their own lives that it's easy to lose friendship.
I do try and reconnect and meet up with people when i can but people are busy. And eventually it does feel like i'm losing them.

Hi! This is my first post on this forum. It's my birthday today February 6 and I'm 30. I can relate with what you mentioned. I live far away from my family and friends and I am losing my established friendships cause they have their own lives. So I'm 30 today and needless to say I'm not celebrating ---I'm not very festive anyway. A few more years and everything will be downhill for me. My youthful appearance will slowly leave me along with my health. I highly doubt I'll find a woman and get married or have kids. I just hope that I don't live long enough to be 60.

 

[Zak]

Happy Birthday Olde shoe

 

[dreamer8]

In my case,I think I'm afraid to drive...which has caused me tons of missed opportunities/freedom.

 

[dontwant2beelonely]

why b/c it might be that they want people in their lives right then and when it doesn't happen they give up. But to be completely honest idk the sky is the limit.

 

[SilentThinker]

Well?

Any ideas why this happens?

I mean I guess some people are constantly depressed or anxious about something. But why would someone be chronically Lonely?

It comes from low confidence which comes from different events and situations.For example,I know of a friend who rarely talks to people.When I see him in a big group,he shuns away.

When I asked him,he said he got nothing to talk.Even if he would be talking,he think that no one would be listening.There were times that I asked him out but he becomes angry because I stepped into the his private space.

I see that he also has a larger number of friends but he still feel alone and he thinks nobody cares about him when there are people who cares.

 

[loketron]

chronic loneliness? i subscribed to that, and now they wont let me cancel my subscription!
and now im stuck im my contract untill i find a job...

 

[lisais52]

Well?

Any ideas why this happens?

I mean I guess some people are constantly depressed or anxious about something. But why would someone be chronically Lonely?

Hi, I haven't been to this site in some time. I think I forgot I signed up.
Anyhow to answer your question "But why would someone be chronically Lonely?"

Here are some reasons why (I think) 1 when a person has lost contact with people they've known before 2 when a person has no social life 3 when a person is stuck indoors much of the time 4 when a person has nobody to talk to or has very few people to talk to 5 when a person does not live nearby their family

 

[indigo999]

I think it also comes down to evolution and human behavior in general which people never admit to. If you are seen as a geek,weirdo,loner,ugly etc then the mainstream of society especially when young at school or college will avoid you and not let you into their group,circle if you don't fit in with what they consider is good or cool.If its your behavior then its up to you to change to become acceptable to so called normal people in order to fit in. This is because evolution is relentlessly cruel.

 

[jimmymckooel]

because we're not in harmony with the herd