Wouldn't it better if they were dead!

[Nice But Dim Jim]

OK, I'm actually being a bit tongue in cheek but sometimes it feels like I wish my ex partner was dead, so I could love, grieve and move on. It's so much harder when someone you actually do care wholehearted for is still alive and doesn't give one fresia about you.

I really don't know how much more I can actually take of everyone else being in her shadow because I never stopped being in love with her. It is ruining every chance of happiness and sucking any drop of ambition out of me.

 

[AmytheTemperamental]

The issue of other people having that much power over your emotional well-being, comes from within. No amount of death helps that, my friend.

 

[VanillaCreme]

The issue of other people having that much power over your emotional well-being, comes from within. No amount of death helps that, my friend.

Well said, and I completely agree. Moving on from them has nothing to do with them. That's something you have to do yourself.

 

[Nicolelt]

Pretend they are dead. I don' talk to any of my exes anymore. I have no idea what they are doing with their lives, so they could be I guess. Just move on when you are ready.

 

[VeganAtheist]

I don't wish she was dead. In fact, I hope she has the best life possible. I hope it is filled with the happiness I failed to give her.
I hope no harm comes to her. I would still help her out if she asked for it.

Myself, on the other hand.....

 

[Tiina63]

I know how you feel, op. If your ex were dead, you would have to accept that you will never get back together (not in this world, anyway) and this would eventually force you to move on. But while she is alive, you still have hope and it is this hope which is holding you back.

 

[FPL2014]

When you completely forget about a person, they are actually dead for you.

 

[TheRealCallie]

The issue of other people having that much power over your emotional well-being, comes from within. No amount of death helps that, my friend.

This.

And this.
[video=youtube]www.youtube.com/watch?v=GSBFehvLJDc[/video]

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When you completely forget about a person, they are actually dead for you.

If you honestly loved someone, I don't believe it's that easy. Personally, I feel that if the love is real, you will never be able to forget about them. I have loved more than one guy in my life and while I sometimes wish I could forget them, I know I never could, nor would I really want to.

Cherish the good and let go of the bad, but don't forget. It will be something to look bad on as you get older and know that you had something special...even if it didn't last.

 

[johnny196775]

When you care for a person you want what is best for them. Not you. And it can break your heart.

 

[EveWasFramed]

I'm afraid that YOU are the only one who can step out of that shadow and into the light, Jim.
Also, someone very close to me lost a spouse...I'm not so sure that your ex's death would be easier to deal with than not being with her anymore.

 

[bluedolphin92]

I know where you're coming from, but you just have to let go of those kinds of thoughts. Just let go of the person altogether, forget about them as best you can.

I once had a friend, someone who I had met on an online forum. Knew him almost 7 years on there before meeting him in person. I ended up sleeping with him. I thought I loved him and I thought he loved me back. I was a fool to ever think that. I don't know if he ever cared about me at all but regardless he proved himself to be a terrible friend and a terrible person in general. It still hurts a little bit to think about him, so I don't. I don't wish anything bad on him, I don't wonder why he did the things he did. I just keep him out of my thoughts as best I can.

 

[ladyforsaken]

The issue of other people having that much power over your emotional well-being, comes from within. No amount of death helps that, my friend.

I'm afraid that YOU are the only one who can step out of that shadow and into the light, Jim.

^^What both JSG and Eve said. It's really all up to you - it's not easy to stop the thoughts from coming to you in your head, but you can and it is definitely possible, to find ways to deal with it and overcome it over time. That is if you allow yourself to do so, and believe you can move on.

 

[blackdot]

It's not better for your ex to be dead. Trust me on this one.
My ex-gf killed herself after breaking up with me.