You might be Canadian

[ASnowyCanadian]

I didn't come up with any of this, these are jokes that Jeff Foxworthy came up with.

If your local Dairy Queen is closed from September through May.
You may live in Canada.

If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance and they don't work there.
You may live in Canada

If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time.
You may live in Canada

If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialled the wrong number
You may live in Canada

If you measure distance in hours.
You may live in Canada

If you install security lights on your house and garage, but leave both unlocked
You may live in Canada.

If the speed limit on the hihhway is 80 km/hr you're going 95 and everyone is passing you
You may live in Canada

If you can drive 90 km/hr through two feet of snow during a raging blizzard without flinching
You may live in Canada

If you find -2 outside to be "a little chilly"
You may live in Canada

If you carry jumper cables in the car and your wife knows how to use them
You may live in Canada

If driving in the winter is better because the potholes are filled with snow
You may live in Canada


Nearly had to change my underwear when I read these the first time lol.
PROUD TO BE CANADIAN.

 

[sentiententity]

 

[Sigma]

Turns out I'm not Canadian after all.
Who would've thunk.

 

[Bacon]

Those are funny! I've heard these Jeff Foxworthy jokes before but it's always good to hear them again!

I'm Canadian, too, eh.

 

[Fray]

Not Canadian but I have heard the ones about driving in the winter applied to where I am. ;]

 

[WildernessWildChild]

The Official Canadian Temperature Conversion Chart:

50 Fahrenheit (10 C)
Californians shiver uncontrollably.
Canadians plant gardens.

35 Fahrenheit (1.6 C)
Italian Cars won't start
Canadians drive with the windows down

32 Fahrenheit (0 C)
American water freezes
Canadian water gets thicker.

0 Fahrenheit (-17..9 C)
New York City landlords finally turn on the heat.
Canadians have the last cookout of the season.

-60 Fahrenheit (-51 C)
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
Canadian Girl Guides sell cookies door-to-door.

-109.9 Fahrenheit (-78.5 C)
Carbon dioxide freezes makes dry ice.
Canadians pull down their earflaps.

-173 Fahrenheit (-114 C)
Ethyl alcohol freezes.
Canadians get frustrated when they can't thaw the keg

-459.67 Fahrenheit (-273.15 C)
Absolute zero; all atomic motion stops.
Canadians start saying "cold, eh?"

-500 Fahrenheit (-295 C)
Hell freezes over.
The Toronto Maple Leafs win the Stanley Cup

 

[WildernessWildChild]

Pretty much the way it is when encountering a Newf....
[video=youtube]

 

[ilios]

i have always suspected that i might be canadian

 

[WildernessWildChild]

i have always suspected that i might be canadian

It's not a birthright, it's a desire...
[video=youtube] [/video]

 

[WildernessWildChild]

 

[Sarah_Lbnz]

Yep, that looks about right. Although the east coast is missing some bits about fiddles n lobster. THEN it would be complete.

 

[WildernessWildChild]

 

[WildernessWildChild]

Odd Stuff about Canada


1. The Stanley Cup has its own bodyguard, but that doesn’t mean Canadian hockey champions haven’t put all kinds of different foods and drinks in it (everything from chocolate milk to popcorn and cereal!)

2. British Columbian pioneers made use of the oolichan, also called candlefish, at nighttime. The small fish is so fatty that it can be dried, strung on a wick and burned like a candle!

3. Canada’s name comes from a misunderstanding between Jacques Cartier and some Iroquois youth who were pointing out a village (for which they used the word “Kanata”). They were actually trying to identify the small area which is present day Quebec City, but Cartier used the similar-sounding word “Canada” to refer to the whole area. Oops!

4. The Narcisse Snake Dens in Manitoba have more snakes in a concentrated area than anywhere else in the world. Tens of thousands of red-sided garter snakes gather there every year. On the other hand, there are no snakes on the island of Newfoundland.

5. Canada officially got its own national flag on February 15, 1965 — almost 100 years after it became a country (in 1867).

6. Canada’s official languages may be French and English, but our geese have their own language: scientists believe that Canada geese have as many as 13 different calls for everything from greetings and warnings to happiness.

7. If you visit Dawson City, Yukon, you can join the “Sourtoe Cocktail Club” — all you have to do is finish a drink (of anything!) with a real human toe in the bottom. The club’s motto says, “You can drink it fast, you can drink it slow — but the lips have gotta touch the toe.”

8. In 1962, Pincher Creek, Alberta experienced the fastest, biggest temperature change ever recorded in Canada as a result of a Chinook (a warm, dry wind that comes off the Rocky Mountains). The temperature rose from -19C to 22C in just one hour!
-Son of a b***h, my RV is parked about 20 minutes from here

9. Between 1984 and 2008, it was illegal to sell pop in cans in PEI. All carbonated drinks had to be purchased in refillable glass bottles. PEI was the only place in North America to have a “can ban.”

10. Forget the Loch Ness Monster: Canada has its own mysterious lake creature, Ogopogo, who reportedly lives in Lake Okanagan, British Columbia.