Hi guys, I hope you're all doing fine...
I'm not very sure of what to say really, I understand I'm supposed to introduce myself but I've read some of your introductions and some stories are just heartbreaking and... man... I've tried to write this a few times and it doesn't feel completely right. It feels like being ungrateful for what I have. I can say I'm not completely alone. I have my mom, my dad, my sister and my boyfriend. And I love them. I'm forever grateful for their existence and I show them my love and share with them as much as I can. But... I don't know. I don't have anybody else, literally, around. And them, well, yeah they're normal people with friends, and yes i use the word "normal" because sometimes I feel like a complete freak for not having any friends and for putting so much weight on my boyfriend's shoulders. When I break every now and then, I cry and tell him how shallow and lonely I feel sometimes and he doesn't get it, for him it is soooo, sooo easy to make friends. I guess he feels the same way I feel when I hear people talking about their forever old friends... like it is something from another planet or whatever.
I've rewritten this over and over again for real, if I tell you all the context I can't do it in a short way and I know how bothering it could be. So I tell you this: I have no friends, not a single one. I've had some, but they just go away, and when they've been there with me it is because of school, college or projects that brought us together, nothing more. When that context is over, so they are. I feel very often like I'm the most boring person in the world. People just get tired of me and leave. At the same time, within this loneliness and helplessness, I feel like I don't even want people around, sometimes not even my family or boyfriend.
So I ask you, have you been in this place? In this situation of being in pain for having no friends, feeling extremely lonely, and then, when, miraculously, an opportunity appears to possibly interact with other people, to make a friend, you just freeze a run away. You become apathetic and lethargic and in your head, there are only weird thoughts telling you that you're not enough, that they're bored just for being around you. And then you just simply leave or ghost or whatever. And that's it. Then you can go home or you turn off your phone and feel shitty and lonely again.
This is very confusing, I don't understand it. I hope that, if you relate, you'd talk to me and maybe we can try a way out, I feel way too lost about this.
Thank you for reading.
Juana
I'm not very sure of what to say really, I understand I'm supposed to introduce myself but I've read some of your introductions and some stories are just heartbreaking and... man... I've tried to write this a few times and it doesn't feel completely right. It feels like being ungrateful for what I have. I can say I'm not completely alone. I have my mom, my dad, my sister and my boyfriend. And I love them. I'm forever grateful for their existence and I show them my love and share with them as much as I can. But... I don't know. I don't have anybody else, literally, around. And them, well, yeah they're normal people with friends, and yes i use the word "normal" because sometimes I feel like a complete freak for not having any friends and for putting so much weight on my boyfriend's shoulders. When I break every now and then, I cry and tell him how shallow and lonely I feel sometimes and he doesn't get it, for him it is soooo, sooo easy to make friends. I guess he feels the same way I feel when I hear people talking about their forever old friends... like it is something from another planet or whatever.
I've rewritten this over and over again for real, if I tell you all the context I can't do it in a short way and I know how bothering it could be. So I tell you this: I have no friends, not a single one. I've had some, but they just go away, and when they've been there with me it is because of school, college or projects that brought us together, nothing more. When that context is over, so they are. I feel very often like I'm the most boring person in the world. People just get tired of me and leave. At the same time, within this loneliness and helplessness, I feel like I don't even want people around, sometimes not even my family or boyfriend.
So I ask you, have you been in this place? In this situation of being in pain for having no friends, feeling extremely lonely, and then, when, miraculously, an opportunity appears to possibly interact with other people, to make a friend, you just freeze a run away. You become apathetic and lethargic and in your head, there are only weird thoughts telling you that you're not enough, that they're bored just for being around you. And then you just simply leave or ghost or whatever. And that's it. Then you can go home or you turn off your phone and feel shitty and lonely again.
This is very confusing, I don't understand it. I hope that, if you relate, you'd talk to me and maybe we can try a way out, I feel way too lost about this.
Thank you for reading.
Juana