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I saw my ex in hopes that maybe there would be some change. But I just came away like honeysuckle. I felt like I was begging for scraps any little bit of attention from her. I've been single most of my adult like and I don't what it feels like to have someone that actually loves you and wants to be...

With the exception of a few texts from my immediate family I usually spend my birthdays having dinner and a drink alone. How does everyone else spend their birthdays when you basically don't have anyone?

I know I don't want to die but everyday it's becoming harder and harder to keep pushing, to keep hoping that things will turnaround for me. I'm just a pathetic piece of honeysuckle I have so much self-hatred for being, for being unable to fix my life, for being a coward and just ending it.

I guess I'm here like most of us don't have anyone that is close to me. So I came to chat with other people in similar situations.