R
Red26
Guest
Over the past few years, I've perfected an awful fake smile. Its one I use when people ask me how I am, or why my eyes are red. "Oh, I watched a weepy movie" I'll say, and then flash that smile. Its so souless yet people dont seem to notice.
When my ex promised me forever and then broke my heart, people asked "How are you coping", and then added "Theres plenty more fish in the sea" without stopping to hear my answer. When my 'friends' dont hear from me for a while, they dont call me to ask how I am, they wait until I call them and say "I'm still alive". I used to talk about my pain, or my sadness, or my happiness even, and now I cant talk about any of it to the people in my life as they just dont care. I feel so distant from everyone, and its just getting worse. I go out to pubs or clubs and find that I cant talk to people, or let them get close to me even though I long for just a little affection, a little human kindness.
I swallow all my loneliness, and anger, and bitterness, and frustration at things I cant change and use that smile to make people think I'm fine.
Does anyone else do this? Am I just being a drama queen?
Red26
When my ex promised me forever and then broke my heart, people asked "How are you coping", and then added "Theres plenty more fish in the sea" without stopping to hear my answer. When my 'friends' dont hear from me for a while, they dont call me to ask how I am, they wait until I call them and say "I'm still alive". I used to talk about my pain, or my sadness, or my happiness even, and now I cant talk about any of it to the people in my life as they just dont care. I feel so distant from everyone, and its just getting worse. I go out to pubs or clubs and find that I cant talk to people, or let them get close to me even though I long for just a little affection, a little human kindness.
I swallow all my loneliness, and anger, and bitterness, and frustration at things I cant change and use that smile to make people think I'm fine.
Does anyone else do this? Am I just being a drama queen?
Red26