Getting over society anxiety (nearly) + Setting up my shop!

Hey everyone at lonelylife! I used to be a member 1 year ago and had a lot of fun in the chat rooms. Unfortunately, ever since my university started I have been engrossed in so many things and had many ups and downs. Mostly downs. But I'm growing up.

So heres my story:

University life has been utterly terrible. I considered quitting school numerous times and have dropped half my mods. I am more self conscious than ever and haven't really made any "friends".

Despite the bleak outlook, I think part of growing up is that I'm now less socially anxious. Well, what happened was that I decided to force myself out of my comfort zone by starting a business. Yes, a business! Something that will totally force me into social situations, make eye contact, and force me to be less afraid of people. I decided to start and online fashion boutique and am still in the midst of starting one. It has caused me sleepless nights, acne outbreaks, and is much more stressful than it sounds. I even sometimes have bouts of depression (am I feeling somesort of euphoria high now?), but strangely, the social anxiety that has plagued me my whole life is slowly but surely disappearing.

I guess my whole point is that, you really have to get out of your comfort zone, only then will you know what you are capable of. And most of the time, you are more capable than you think.

I used to have a fear of meeting people I didn't know. I was the "quiet" girl. The "weirdo". I was afraid that they will judge me. But starting my own business, just the process (it's not even open yet), made me realize my own strengths. Things that I never thought I could do - meeting strangers to negotiate business deals, saying "no" to a deal that's not in my favor, and even calling foreigners. 3 years ago, I would be too scared to say "no" to people becauseI didn't want to offend anybody. But now here I am, trying to be friendly and sociable since I have to sustain a good and long term relationship, while knowing when to say "no" and cut your losses. Of course, it didn't start out good at first. I met my first business partner and it was pretty unsuccessful. At that time I was like a scared puppy who couldn't even talk without stumbling. I looked totally apprehensive - and I was, like I forced my body to be there but my brain was in all panic mode. The deal fell through. But somehow or rather, I persevered. I made endless phone calls with people slamming down the phones, I met with some scammers and a lot of people who would use pressure tactics on you. I went to seedy industrial manufacturing factories (those that looked like Hong Kong alleyways like you were gonna get beaten up. I'm serious, even the lifts were flickering) and wholesale centers. I think to myself, if I can do it, so can everybody on alonelylife. I know that there is a lot of socially anxious and inept people here. But actually, you are more capable than you think. I told my friends about my escapades and she even concluded that I was street smart and would make a good business woman - not something a low self-esteem, socially anxious girl would usually hear.

This may seem like a small step forward to you, but to me it gave me a lot of confidence. I do have my flaws and still feel nervous. For example, I now have to hire a model and studio and photographer and makeup artist, and I really absolutely overwhelmed meeting so many people at once in a new environment. I especially feel nervous meeting my model, who is probably my age, just ten times prettier. But since I have put myself on this path and this direction, I can't stop.

My wish for everybody is to get out of their comfort zone, and to try something new. You never know where it will take you, or more importantly, how it will change you.

I am glad you got over your social anxiety.

I still have panic attacks, so I don't socialize much, off of the internet. I am dreading going to a concert, where I will meet up with a bunch of fans of the band (one person I know, and many I don't), even though I am looking forward to having a beer with them, too.

I can emphasize with your job related anxiety. Every job I've had, I've either quit or been fired from, for not being social enough. Krogers canned me, even though I was well liked by customers, because they felt I wasn't outgoing enough. I also had a breakdown at my last job, and quit in the middle of the day (not even at the end of my shift!)

I will try to do what you suggest, but it's hard. I am on medication, been through therapy, and am better...but I still think it is so difficult.

hi there. i am sorry to hear that but i understand what you mean. sometimes my depression and social anxiety makes me shirk my responsibilities and makes me unreliable. But i believe you will be able to get back on your feet again. i suggest taking up a new hobby that is therapeutic. for me, it is arts and crafts. I have recently ventured into blogging. it is hard for me to type out every word, but u do feel a sense of achievement. this gives u an interesting topic to talk about too and even though these things have little interaction, it improves your overall confidence which helps in the long run and the journal of recovery

Well, I feel better, because I conquered my phone fear a second ago. Called a friend.

Yes, I have fears over talking on the phone. Which is stupid, because I have an iPhone, with all the trimmings. Seems like I would have fun talking on that...but no!

Anyway, it's times like that that I rejoice that I went and did something, however painful and hard it might have been.