applepear
Well-known member
- Joined
- Jun 15, 2011
- Messages
- 82
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Hey everyone at lonelylife! I used to be a member 1 year ago and had a lot of fun in the chat rooms. Unfortunately, ever since my university started I have been engrossed in so many things and had many ups and downs. Mostly downs. But I'm growing up.
So heres my story:
University life has been utterly terrible. I considered quitting school numerous times and have dropped half my mods. I am more self conscious than ever and haven't really made any "friends".
Despite the bleak outlook, I think part of growing up is that I'm now less socially anxious. Well, what happened was that I decided to force myself out of my comfort zone by starting a business. Yes, a business! Something that will totally force me into social situations, make eye contact, and force me to be less afraid of people. I decided to start and online fashion boutique and am still in the midst of starting one. It has caused me sleepless nights, acne outbreaks, and is much more stressful than it sounds. I even sometimes have bouts of depression (am I feeling somesort of euphoria high now?), but strangely, the social anxiety that has plagued me my whole life is slowly but surely disappearing.
I guess my whole point is that, you really have to get out of your comfort zone, only then will you know what you are capable of. And most of the time, you are more capable than you think.
I used to have a fear of meeting people I didn't know. I was the "quiet" girl. The "weirdo". I was afraid that they will judge me. But starting my own business, just the process (it's not even open yet), made me realize my own strengths. Things that I never thought I could do - meeting strangers to negotiate business deals, saying "no" to a deal that's not in my favor, and even calling foreigners. 3 years ago, I would be too scared to say "no" to people becauseI didn't want to offend anybody. But now here I am, trying to be friendly and sociable since I have to sustain a good and long term relationship, while knowing when to say "no" and cut your losses. Of course, it didn't start out good at first. I met my first business partner and it was pretty unsuccessful. At that time I was like a scared puppy who couldn't even talk without stumbling. I looked totally apprehensive - and I was, like I forced my body to be there but my brain was in all panic mode. The deal fell through. But somehow or rather, I persevered. I made endless phone calls with people slamming down the phones, I met with some scammers and a lot of people who would use pressure tactics on you. I went to seedy industrial manufacturing factories (those that looked like Hong Kong alleyways like you were gonna get beaten up. I'm serious, even the lifts were flickering) and wholesale centers. I think to myself, if I can do it, so can everybody on alonelylife. I know that there is a lot of socially anxious and inept people here. But actually, you are more capable than you think. I told my friends about my escapades and she even concluded that I was street smart and would make a good business woman - not something a low self-esteem, socially anxious girl would usually hear.
This may seem like a small step forward to you, but to me it gave me a lot of confidence. I do have my flaws and still feel nervous. For example, I now have to hire a model and studio and photographer and makeup artist, and I really absolutely overwhelmed meeting so many people at once in a new environment. I especially feel nervous meeting my model, who is probably my age, just ten times prettier. But since I have put myself on this path and this direction, I can't stop.
My wish for everybody is to get out of their comfort zone, and to try something new. You never know where it will take you, or more importantly, how it will change you.
So heres my story:
University life has been utterly terrible. I considered quitting school numerous times and have dropped half my mods. I am more self conscious than ever and haven't really made any "friends".
Despite the bleak outlook, I think part of growing up is that I'm now less socially anxious. Well, what happened was that I decided to force myself out of my comfort zone by starting a business. Yes, a business! Something that will totally force me into social situations, make eye contact, and force me to be less afraid of people. I decided to start and online fashion boutique and am still in the midst of starting one. It has caused me sleepless nights, acne outbreaks, and is much more stressful than it sounds. I even sometimes have bouts of depression (am I feeling somesort of euphoria high now?), but strangely, the social anxiety that has plagued me my whole life is slowly but surely disappearing.
I guess my whole point is that, you really have to get out of your comfort zone, only then will you know what you are capable of. And most of the time, you are more capable than you think.
I used to have a fear of meeting people I didn't know. I was the "quiet" girl. The "weirdo". I was afraid that they will judge me. But starting my own business, just the process (it's not even open yet), made me realize my own strengths. Things that I never thought I could do - meeting strangers to negotiate business deals, saying "no" to a deal that's not in my favor, and even calling foreigners. 3 years ago, I would be too scared to say "no" to people becauseI didn't want to offend anybody. But now here I am, trying to be friendly and sociable since I have to sustain a good and long term relationship, while knowing when to say "no" and cut your losses. Of course, it didn't start out good at first. I met my first business partner and it was pretty unsuccessful. At that time I was like a scared puppy who couldn't even talk without stumbling. I looked totally apprehensive - and I was, like I forced my body to be there but my brain was in all panic mode. The deal fell through. But somehow or rather, I persevered. I made endless phone calls with people slamming down the phones, I met with some scammers and a lot of people who would use pressure tactics on you. I went to seedy industrial manufacturing factories (those that looked like Hong Kong alleyways like you were gonna get beaten up. I'm serious, even the lifts were flickering) and wholesale centers. I think to myself, if I can do it, so can everybody on alonelylife. I know that there is a lot of socially anxious and inept people here. But actually, you are more capable than you think. I told my friends about my escapades and she even concluded that I was street smart and would make a good business woman - not something a low self-esteem, socially anxious girl would usually hear.
This may seem like a small step forward to you, but to me it gave me a lot of confidence. I do have my flaws and still feel nervous. For example, I now have to hire a model and studio and photographer and makeup artist, and I really absolutely overwhelmed meeting so many people at once in a new environment. I especially feel nervous meeting my model, who is probably my age, just ten times prettier. But since I have put myself on this path and this direction, I can't stop.
My wish for everybody is to get out of their comfort zone, and to try something new. You never know where it will take you, or more importantly, how it will change you.