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Normal situation to be depressed in?
Today my family held a memorial for my grandmother who passed away last year. I didn't get enough sleep the day before, stood in pouring rain, had wet feet for an hour on the drive back, suffered from motion sickness and was around a family member I'm partially estranged from (basically, they kept asking me to do something I was not able to do and made me feel guilty about it instead of taking no for an answer, so I had to stop contact with them altogether).

When I arrived at my uncle's house, I was depressed and started thinking about the future in a bleak way. It got so bad I started crying and had to take a nap. I begged off early and went home instead of spending more time with my family.

I felt like I was absorbing every complaint that was made about their lives and I couldn't be around it. I needed to do something for myself to lift my mood. I was pretty shocked at how my own mood devolved and wonder if it was just the circumstances I was in.

(I had a former friend who made me feel horrible by saying I couldn't keep up happy appearances at a gathering of theirs and ruined it, so nowadays, I remove myself from situations if I feel I can't do so. )
"When things are difficult, then let yourself be happy." - Tibetan Saying
Its a really cliche thing to say but hang in there, you seem normal. Just like the stupid cat poster says. It seems like you were really close to your grandma Smile

Your sensitive and at least your honest with yourself in a healthy way. Thats normal. Negativity can bring those feelings right back. Why bother being around it if your not forced to. Soo many people plaster on these fake smiles when their hurting inside. Why?
Its better to burnout than to fade away
I am sorry that you had a bad day and I agree about false positivity.:shy:
When I think of funerals, I see the day you just had. Hate funerals and I hate all the phoney emotions that people think is appropriate. Nothing wrong (in my books) to leave a bad scene if you need to.
It's never ceased to amaze me how some people who've been complete bastards to those around them get upgraded to sainthood upon their demise. The last family funeral I attended many years ago was one of those- my aunts husband who everyone bitched and complained about due to his self-absorbed behaviour and forceful personality died. Suddenly people are singing false praises and giving him attributes that were never him. The greatest hypocrisy was my father telling me how much respect the guy had for me (I'd shrugged my shoulders when I was told he'd passed away)- the guy had barely acknowledged my existence and we tended to avoid each other (two forceful natures in the same room....that'll lead to an implosion). I remember being chastised for being 'cold'. What's the matter with being real?

This isn't intended as a reflection regarding your grandmother edamame, just something I've recalled experiencing that brought back a memory of hypocrisy....
Thank you to everyone that replied! I'm going to do my best and take care of myself without feeling guilty about it. You take care, too! =)
"When things are difficult, then let yourself be happy." - Tibetan Saying

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