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Ever thought of changing your family name?
#1
Yesterday, well, some time ago really, I took a decision: if I ever manage to get out of my current difficult situation and be financially safe I am going to legally change my name to something else.

I am not sure exactly why I am doing it, I don't think it is out of spite although maybe it is.

It is just that my family, on my father's side, had always been very proud of a lot of tracts that I consider horrid and that I think I managed to dissolve in myself since years; I also think that these relatives are aware of that, because since the same amount of years they refuse to know anything about my life. They are quite disappointed because I didn't get a family or a nice career, and they don't know what to talk about with me.
I now see them as strangers.

It makes me really sad that they all bailed out when I became very ill ten years ago, and that I annoy them so much by trying to be positive instead of cynical and resigned and by trying to connect at a real level instead of talking about the weather.

I feel bad about my plan because nobody beat me up, they all at some point provided me with some money, but it seems like they don't want to know me anymore, even if they insist that I go for Christmas or Easter because it's "family time".

I would just like to forget about them, forget where I come from, and be a completely different person without all the traumas. I guess that is not possible just by changing name, or is it?

Did anyone else here do it?
“If you judge people, you have no time to love them.”


“I'm fine. Well, I'm not fine - I'm here."
"Is there something wrong with that?"
"Absolutely.”

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#2
You could change your name simply because you'd like to, and if they can't accept that answer, then they don't need to be told. Maybe your mother's side has a name that you'd appreciate more? Name changing isn't that unusual.
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#3
Changing your name won't change what has happened and it won't make them any less your family. You can change your name and move and become a completely different person, but until you face your problems and resolve them and let them go, they will always be with you. But, on the other hand, if changing your name will enable you to finally let it go, I would do it.

The thing is though, that you need to ask yourself if you want to change your name to better yourself or to hide. Your name and your family doesn't make you who you are. YOU make you who you are.

I wouldn't change my name, but that's just me. I'm not proud of what some in my family has done, but that's on them and has nothing to do with me.
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#4
I wouldn't be opposed to changing my name, not because I don't like my last name, but because my mother's side has a name I think is awesome. I'd rather have a Dutch name than a Spanish last name.
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#5
(10-01-2014, 08:46 PM)VanillaCreme Wrote: I'd rather have a Dutch name than a Spanish last name.

You can have mine.
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#6
I would. Change it to my dad's actual born family name. Right now I have his added names due to his religious conversions as my official family name.
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#7
I know somebody who changed her first name as she hated it so much. She had a bad relationship with her parents-she was thrown out of home when she became mentally ill and was homeless for a while. Although living with a mentally ill person can be hard, in my eyes you don't just throw someone out with no support or anything. They could at least have asked social services to house her and they could have gone to see her every day. I can understand why she wanted to distance herself from her folks.
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#8
I sometimes imagine changing it but there's no justifiable reason for doing it, I just don't like it much. Changing it would be a lot of hassle and my family might be hurt by it. I'd feel doubly bad about it as I'll likely be the last of the family line: I'm an only child, my auntie never had kids and the only kid my uncle had was illegitimate and has nothing to do with him. Certainly she doesn't share his surname. I know that continuation of the family name doesn't matter nowadays but I still feel bad knowing that it will die with me.

Ha, this post kinda became something else. To summarise, yes I think about changing my name but I wouldn't do it.
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#9
I've considered changing my name because I don't like one of my middle names. It would disrespect my parents if I removed that middle name (since they've been good to me), but it's also none of their business if I do.

It may not be the solve all, but it might be one of the things that contributes to making you your own person.

Being your own person is all about mindset and mindset is heavily influenced by environmental factors, so if this environmental factor is one of the things that aids your mindset and helps you to think of yourself as your own person, then it's worth doing.
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#10
(10-02-2014, 01:52 AM)ladyforsaken Wrote: I would. Change it to my dad's actual born family name. Right now I have his added names due to his religious conversions as my official family name.

My mom didn't do that with us with my dad's last name. He only had one himself, but my uncle has all the family names. My grandmother had multiple last names, and my brother and I could have had them, too. But my mom put a stop to that.
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