Yesterday, well, some time ago really, I took a decision: if I ever manage to get out of my current difficult situation and be financially safe I am going to legally change my name to something else.
I am not sure exactly why I am doing it, I don't think it is out of spite although maybe it is.
It is just that my family, on my father's side, had always been very proud of a lot of tracts that I consider horrid and that I think I managed to dissolve in myself since years; I also think that these relatives are aware of that, because since the same amount of years they refuse to know anything about my life. They are quite disappointed because I didn't get a family or a nice career, and they don't know what to talk about with me.
I now see them as strangers.
It makes me really sad that they all bailed out when I became very ill ten years ago, and that I annoy them so much by trying to be positive instead of cynical and resigned and by trying to connect at a real level instead of talking about the weather.
I feel bad about my plan because nobody beat me up, they all at some point provided me with some money, but it seems like they don't want to know me anymore, even if they insist that I go for Christmas or Easter because it's "family time".
I would just like to forget about them, forget where I come from, and be a completely different person without all the traumas. I guess that is not possible just by changing name, or is it?
Did anyone else here do it?
I am not sure exactly why I am doing it, I don't think it is out of spite although maybe it is.
It is just that my family, on my father's side, had always been very proud of a lot of tracts that I consider horrid and that I think I managed to dissolve in myself since years; I also think that these relatives are aware of that, because since the same amount of years they refuse to know anything about my life. They are quite disappointed because I didn't get a family or a nice career, and they don't know what to talk about with me.
I now see them as strangers.
It makes me really sad that they all bailed out when I became very ill ten years ago, and that I annoy them so much by trying to be positive instead of cynical and resigned and by trying to connect at a real level instead of talking about the weather.
I feel bad about my plan because nobody beat me up, they all at some point provided me with some money, but it seems like they don't want to know me anymore, even if they insist that I go for Christmas or Easter because it's "family time".
I would just like to forget about them, forget where I come from, and be a completely different person without all the traumas. I guess that is not possible just by changing name, or is it?
Did anyone else here do it?