Don't know whats wrong with me

So I am not lonely when it comes to friends. I seem to make them easy enough but my problem is meeting a girl who wants a relationship.

So I am 26 I've never had sex I've kissed a girl when I was 17 and once again when I was 24. But it felt forced and they broke up with me a few days later. I've never had someone generally like me or even love me. Maybe I am not attractive enough or its my attitude.

So a few weeks ago I meet this girl, Afrikaans girl so there is the language and culture thing,I understand a little afrikaans and speak it a little. Shes 23 and shes been engaged twice, both guys cheated on her and I am sure the last one beat her.

We live far from each other about an hour and a bit but its nothing major. Things where going nicely, I was confident I sang to her on the phone,I spoke afrikaans to her because she thought it was cute and was really nice to her. She said I am really sweet and she doesn't know anyone like me.

Then I ask if she wants to see me sometime she agrees. But as I am on my way she said well my dad is going to be here. So I got there I was as nervous as hell I got a twitch on my cheek. But we talked a lot no awkward silence I met her dad he stared me down but I didn't back down.

I said to her I really like you she blushed and smiled laughed at my dumb jokes and kept eye contact.

As I leave she looks into my eyes and says I really really like you and I want to spend more time with you. You a really nice guy. Shed send pics of herself like look at my new hair color or I fell into the pool. Things were going nicely then bam I said I'm interested in you and I want something more than friendship. She said we just friends for now and I am not ready for a relationship. But she still chatted like if I was something more and when we got really close she backed off and barely talked to me said it isn't me she doesn't want to chat now.

She suffers from depression so maybe its that.

Warning flags. I woman I know said just keep being nice to her and be there for her. Now this weekend she met some guy. I asked if he is good looking and she had a laughing face and said he is good looking I won't lie. So I said Well if you like him I won't stop you,then she just replied with hahahaha.

Worst part is I love her and I think she likes this guy. I know having someone isn't everything but when all your friends are married or in a serious relationship no one really has the time to do things with.

I am really sorry for this all over the place post. I just don't know what to do.

If what you say about her past relationships and being depressed is true, it's not really a major surprise that she doesn't want a relationship right now. She's probably hesitant to get back into something for fear of it happening again. Give her time and be there for her, like the woman you know said. Don't worry about other guys, that's neither her or there until she says there's something there and do NOT worry about what the guy looks like, that's neither here nor there, IMO. Look aren't everything.

As for you loving her, I'm sorry, but I seriously doubt you are in love with her when you've only known her for a few weeks. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying you don't care about her, I'm sure you genuinely do, but I seriously doubt it's love.

TheRealCallie said:

If what you say about her past relationships and being depressed is true, it's not really a major surprise that she doesn't want a relationship right now. She's probably hesitant to get back into something for fear of it happening again. Give her time and be there for her, like the woman you know said. Don't worry about other guys, that's neither her or there until she says there's something there and do NOT worry about what the guy looks like, that's neither here nor there, IMO. Look aren't everything.

As for you loving her, I'm sorry, but I seriously doubt you are in love with her when you've only known her for a few weeks. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying you don't care about her, I'm sure you genuinely do, but I seriously doubt it's love.

Click to expand...

You probably right I do care for her a lot so I am a little overwhelmed. thank you it puts my mind at ease. She said she appreciates me being there for her. I am moving closer end of the month got work there.

Shes very beautiful.

Doesn't sound to me like anything is wrong with you. It sounds like you've done everything right.
I have to agree with Callie, just give her some time to work through her issues with past relationships. Sometimes those take a while, especially if they were abusive.

And if things don't work out with her and she really isn't interested in you then you'll just have to move on. That's just life, sometimes. You'll move on and you'll find someone else.
And if she does work out her issues and changes her mind about you then good luck!

Despicable Me said:

Doesn't sound to me like anything is wrong with you. It sounds like you've done everything right.
I have to agree with Callie, just give her some time to work through her issues with past relationships. Sometimes those take a while, especially if they were abusive.

And if things don't work out with her and she really isn't interested in you then you'll just have to move on. That's just life, sometimes. You'll move on and you'll find someone else.
And if she does work out her issues and changes her mind about you then good luck!

Click to expand...

Just happens every time then next thing they with someone else. But usually its not for the best for them. But I still end up hurt. You don't think I've been to nice. I don't show her any negativity and I never moan she just sees the best of me. sorry I have no clue what I am doing.

tsar said:

Just happens every time then next thing they with someone else. But usually its not for the best for them. But I still end up hurt. You don't think I've been to nice. I don't show her any negativity and I never moan she just sees the best of me. sorry I have no clue what I am doing.

Click to expand...

You can never be 'too nice', in my opinion.

I mean I obviously don't know everything going on here but like I said, I think you're doing everything right from the sound of it. If you tell someone you are interested in them and they don't reciprocate there are only two things you can do, either wait for them to be ready (which may never happen), or give up and move on with your life.

Sounds to me like you've got a lot better idea of what you're doing than most people do, too. Don't worry so much. Things will work out for you. Just keep trying.

Obviously, you don't want to pressure her. So just fall back for a while. You've already made yourself clear in your feelings, so just wait for her to come to you.

I hate to say it, but i think you're getting friend zoned. I hope I'm wrong, but I guess you'll find out if she starts seeing this "hot guy". Don't jump to any conclusions or anything, and like everyone else said just be there for her but don't be to pushy, you already made it clear you like her so if/when she is ready she'll come to you. I hope it does work out for you in the end.

lonelypanda said:

I hate to say it, but i think you're getting friend zoned. I hope I'm wrong, but I guess you'll find out if she starts seeing this "hot guy". Don't jump to any conclusions or anything, and like everyone else said just be there for her but don't be to pushy, you already made it clear you like her so if/when she is ready she'll come to you. I hope it does work out for you in the end.

Click to expand...

You see I kinda pushed her. She went to a braai(bbq) with a friend and I asked her if sh made any friends and she said yes but only got the ones number I asked is it a hot guy she first sent a laughing face and said yes he is good looking I won't lie.

I mean there are a lot of woman in that part of the world. If she never gives me the time of day I am sure I will meet someone who will be very happy with me. Honestly I have seen her taste in men and they all seem abusive. Shes only had three boyfriends. I am a city guy shes a small town girl. Town only has one road...

move on, and quickly

Triple Bogey said:

move on, and quickly

Click to expand...

I'll be her friend now. She doesn't really have friends. Maybe I jumped the gun but I will meet someone next year. With the move to my friends place new job, new life.

Just have to be positive,hole thing made me very depressed but I can't let it get the best of me.

tsar said:

Triple Bogey said:

move on, and quickly

Click to expand...

I'll be her friend now. She doesn't really have friends. Maybe I jumped the gun but I will meet someone next year. With the move to my friends place new job, new life.

Just have to be positive,hole thing made me very depressed but I can't let it get the best of me.

Click to expand...

yeah but you sound like you want it to be more than friends.
Which could be tricky if she starts seeing somebody. How are you going to feel ?

Triple Bogey said:

tsar said:

Triple Bogey said:

move on, and quickly

Click to expand...

I'll be her friend now. She doesn't really have friends. Maybe I jumped the gun but I will meet someone next year. With the move to my friends place new job, new life.

Just have to be positive,hole thing made me very depressed but I can't let it get the best of me.

Click to expand...

yeah but you sound like you want it to be more than friends.
Which could be tricky if she starts seeing somebody. How are you going to feel ?

Click to expand...

Not sure. But by then I hopefully maybe met someone else. The area I am moving to has a lot of girls. Well my friend reckons I will meet someone else. He was the one the introduced me to this girl. If I don't I don't know. Will hurt but I can't be mad at her because she doesn't want me.

tsar said:

Triple Bogey said:

tsar said:

Triple Bogey said:

move on, and quickly

Click to expand...

I'll be her friend now. She doesn't really have friends. Maybe I jumped the gun but I will meet someone next year. With the move to my friends place new job, new life.

Just have to be positive,hole thing made me very depressed but I can't let it get the best of me.

Click to expand...

yeah but you sound like you want it to be more than friends.
Which could be tricky if she starts seeing somebody. How are you going to feel ?

Click to expand...

Not sure. But by then I hopefully maybe met someone else. The area I am moving to has a lot of girls. Well my friend reckons I will meet someone else. He was the one the introduced me to this girl. If I don't I don't know. Will hurt but I can't be mad at her because she doesn't want me.

Click to expand...

okay. good luck

Triple Bogey said:

tsar said:

Triple Bogey said:

tsar said:

Triple Bogey said:

move on, and quickly

Click to expand...

I'll be her friend now. She doesn't really have friends. Maybe I jumped the gun but I will meet someone next year. With the move to my friends place new job, new life.

Just have to be positive,hole thing made me very depressed but I can't let it get the best of me.

Click to expand...

yeah but you sound like you want it to be more than friends.
Which could be tricky if she starts seeing somebody. How are you going to feel ?

Click to expand...

Not sure. But by then I hopefully maybe met someone else. The area I am moving to has a lot of girls. Well my friend reckons I will meet someone else. He was the one the introduced me to this girl. If I don't I don't know. Will hurt but I can't be mad at her because she doesn't want me.

Click to expand...

okay. good luck

Click to expand...

now she wants me to take her and her father out for supper -_-. I feel like this screams scam.