All I ever wanted was to be accepted a normal person. Yes, I want sex and money and respect but ultimately all I ever wanted was acceptance. I've struggled to fit in my entire life. I had trouble making friends. I never had sex or kissed anyone until after I was 20 because of depression and being left behind socially and emotionally. I had a bad time at school, work and home. I always tried to bury myself in something. I don't want to be a loser or a failure. I want to feel like a real person like everyone else. I'm not whining, I just needed to get this off my chest because it's weighing me down.
Thanks for the encouragement. Believing in yourself is an uphill battle. People like to kick you when you're down. There's no need to. They'll say things like "That's the way the world is, it's survival". Well, no, it's not. Like they're monkeys living in the jungle and they need to kick you when you're down for food and shelter. No, it's a poor excuse for being a vindictive bullying arsehole.
People use that as an excuse for shitty behaviour. You don't actually need to kick people when they're down to survive. All I want is to be left alone to live my own life and everyone else can live theirs. Most people have the mentality of animals.
Completely agree with you. There seems to be a rampant number of narcissists and bullies that push others down to make themselves feel better. I wouldn't have struggled as much had I not be bullied. All I've ever wanted to do is live my own life and not have others harass me. As an adult, there are more opportunities to remove yourself from harmful and toxic people. If others make you feel less, know that they are people not worth your time and try to remove yourself from the situation. Assholes are assholes.
My father was one of those. IMO, he had a transparent personality with a fragile ego and he humiliated me for 40 years to try and derive an illusion of potency and adequacy about himself. I always wanted his validation and he always wanted me to abase myself and defer to him....neither one of us got what we wanted. Right up to the last day he lived on this earth, the bastard.
It's sad really.
@ trouble79: Comparing most people to animals is unfair to animals and gives them a bad name.
Be here now.
It's hard to escape from if it's in your home life. Hope you're OK now.
I think a lot of people in this world need some sort of validation to some extent.
02-23-2017, 02:55 PM
(This post was last modified: 02-23-2017, 05:04 PM by ardour.)
Being needy, you tend to assume the same of others who aren't either indifferent or outright assholes towards you. 'Learning to like yourself first’, as corny as it sounds, is necessary if you want friendships that feel like they mean something, as opposed to "oh this person only wants my company because they're looking for validation".
Seems to be a big part of the reason why women generally don't value the 'attentions' of men who are insecure and awkward.