Pepperwood
Member
I have been married for 9 years. We have two children. I feel so alone. Anyone else feel this way? Any advice? I know I haven't given much to tell you about my personal situation. Just wanting to see if others can relate to this.
Pepperwood said:We just don't really get along anymore. So we spend most of our time doing our own thing. I think we would both like to get divorced, but we just can't afford that right now. We have tried to make things work, but we just can't seem to not argue about everything. So instead now we just avoid each other.
We just don't really get along anymore. So we spend most of our time doing our own thing. I think we would both like to get divorced, but we just can't afford that right now. We have tried to make things work, but we just can't seem to not argue about everything. So instead now we just avoid each other.
I was in a marriage like this for 12 years. It was sad. I made the decision to leave. It cost me tons of money, and many other things, including seeing my kids everyday. But you know the most important thing I've gained is freedom. Freedom to pursue my own happiness, my own career path doing what I'd like to do, and love doing it. And there's nothing that compares to that. Your kids will see this too if you feel stuck all around.
But I needed to find out before I made this decision if I was making the right one. My now ex and I attended a seminar called Worldwide Marriage Encounter. Reason being this was funded by donations and no couple was obligated to pay for the weekend. We learned lots, but ultimately through going through this weekend I decided we just couldn't make it work anymore. (I say 'I' because my now ex belongs to a religious organization that is well-known for its perspectives on divorce and 'that there should be none'). So essentially it had to be my decision, otherwise it was his way or the highway. And as well-meaning as religious organizations try to be, the bottom line is human beings do make mistakes when surmising whether a forever commitment is in the cards, among other things.....
Hope sharing my experience helped.
Pepperwood said:We just don't really get along anymore. So we spend most of our time doing our own thing. I think we would both like to get divorced, but we just can't afford that right now. We have tried to make things work, but we just can't seem to not argue about everything. So instead now we just avoid each other.
We just don't really get along anymore. So we spend most of our time doing our own thing. I think we would both like to get divorced, but we just can't afford that right now. We have tried to make things work, but we just can't seem to not argue about everything. So instead now we just avoid each other.
Disposable said:Love is not that wonderthing from story books we are being told to as kids, only the very few luckiest can life lasting love. Those are usually people with normal lives, not outcasts. It's time to accept love for what it really is for.. to get humans closer to procreate and survive better together (evolutionary explanation).
Disposable said:It's hard to tell because you barely described your situation, how it all begun, how it ended, were there any red flags you overlooked, what did you try, why did you enter into a relationship with him in first place, is he a narc or just isn't really your type..?
For things to work both sides gotta want to fix it together and have ambition to do so. Seems like you both just gave up if you did then yea, 99.9% of chance it won't get better. A flower won't grow without water and sun. Unless miracle!
Seems like your love has extinguished, and that you are married doesn't mean you gotta live together or stay together cuz of children. Oh believe me, parental divorce totally isn't the worst thing that can happen to a child, oh believe me I know, I wish my only problem in life was the divorce of my parents. As long as you treat your kids with care they will be fine overall. I'd suggest you try counceling for the last time, if it's useless then better go each your own path I guess. Find someone you don't feel alone with maybe, someone a loner like you maybe who will appreciate a relationship more because of not having much options.
Love is not that wonderthing from story books we are being told to as kids, only the very few luckiest can life lasting love. Those are usually people with normal lives, not outcasts. It's time to accept love for what it really is for.. to get humans closer to procreate and survive better together (evolutionary explanation).
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