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What's going on with this man?
#1
Not too long ago, my therapist had said something to me that made me feel uncomfortable as well as uncertain about how he views me. At one point, I had told him that I liked him as a therapist. Right after I had made that comment, he told me with a big smile on his face that he was glad that I had said that and that I've always been his favorite client. Another time, I was getting ready to leave a session and he followed me out and said, "I hope you enjoy this warm weather, such as yourself". Then he quickly fixed what he had said by saying, "such as today". Other times whenever I'd go in to see him, he'd mirror my actions often. For example, he'd fix his hair after I'd fix mine, he'd sit back whenever I'd sit back, or cross his arms after I'd cross my arms. He also tries to find things in common with me. For example, I had told him that I was Greek. Then, he told me that he was Greek too even though he has told me multiple times in the past that he only has Swedish ancestry. Sometimes, with some of the things that I'm interested in, he'd apply some of my interests into his life that he's never been interested in before. For example, if I was really into feminism, he'd start getting into feminism too. 

I'm also in group therapy with him. During these group therapy sessions, he'd would always try to sit next to me even when there were other seats open and available for him to sit in next to other clients. I would try to sit somewhere else to see if he'd would follow me and he never fails to sit next to me. If he isn't able to sit next to me at all, he'll stare at me for a long time after the session is over and as I'm getting myself ready to leave. He'd also use the same words/phrases that I'd use. While we were in the group, I tested it out by using a unique word. So, I said that I was feeling pretty 'stoked' about a certain thing and then he said that he was feeling pretty stoked about that same thing. Normally, it seems like he copies me the most out of all of the other clients in the group.

I'm a single woman in my 20's and he's in his 40's and married. Why does he keep doing this?
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#2
I can relate to your experience.

Maybe he likes you? 
Haven’t taken note of someone mirroring my actions and word in this obvious way but I am guessing he likes you. 
Only reason you will know for sure is if you ask him. 
Bottom line is, if you feel uncomfortable during your sessions with him then maybe it’s time to switch therapist? You could also try and talk to him about it, tell him that his actions make you uncomfortable and that you want it to stop so you can continue having a professional relationship with him.
We all have demons, I just choose to feed mine.
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#3
Is he helping you? I can see where this could be tough, but if he's making you feel uncomfortable then maybe you should switch.

Another train of thought I have is that guys sometimes don't know how to act around attractive women (or women). They become very conscious of every little thing they do and say. Do you smile? Do you not smile? Is it rude if you don't? If you do are you smiling for too long? Are you being creepy? We can really put ourselves under a microscope and scrutinize ourselves.
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#4
Sounds kinda weird based on how you’re explaining it.
If it’s truly bothering you it might be time to find a new therapist.
Great men are forged in fire. It is the privilege of lesser men to light the flame.
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#5
What's going on with him? You boosted his ego and now it's inflated. Probably hasn't felt that in many years or something.

I guess the question is, do you see what he is doing as professional or not? What do you expect out of a therapist? They work for you. If you are uncomfortable with one, find another.
"You are as you are until you are not"

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#6
Is quite clear what is going on Toungue if you find yourself uncomfortable get the hell out of there, you are the one who is paying him
"The journey never ends"
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#7
Sadly, and many are unaware, predators are over-represented in positions where they have access to vulnerable people. This includes teachers, professors, social workers, clergy, and THERAPISTS and COUNSELORS. Though if you think about it, it makes perfect sense.
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#8
I'm sorry but these reactions seem kinda hysterical.

Mirroring is a very normal tactic to make people connect and open up more easily, which is basically a therapist's job. Getting involved/interested in your life is literally so that you feel reciprocity and it doesn't seem like such a one way conversation and the image of the therapist is not just as an over analyzing asshole that'll make you not trust them.
What if the sitting thing is a coincidence? Or if the guy really feels more comfortable around this person? He's still a person, he can have a "favorite" patient without immediately being a predator. 

A predator wouldn't be trying to just mirror you, they'd be trying to get involved in your personal life and become your only source of comfort. They'd try to get contact and send you messages after hours, they'd try to be close to you when you're alone, not when you're in a group session. They'd try to manipulate you, make you think less of yourself and those around you putting himself in a position of even more power.
[Image: tumblr_nijo7fZHBz1qg20oho1_500.gif]
"Being young and dipped in folly, I fell in love with melancholy"
-Edgar A. Poe
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#9
I was just adding another perspective and possibly a warning. She said his behavior was making her feel uncomfortable. I've never had a bad experience with a therapist, but I know several people who have - mostly women. Some of those experiences were quite disturbing as described to me.

So when someone tells me they feel uncomfortable or disconcerted by the behavior of a therapist, I explain that sometimes these people (just like ordinary people) can be problematic and not to trust them based solely upon perceived power or authority.

I'd rather issue a caring warning and caution someone against betraying their own instincts, if it means possibly protecting a vulnerable person.

If that is "hysterical," then so be it. 

I thought this was an open forum for sharing perspectives.

(12-26-2018, 02:29 PM)DarkSelene Wrote: A predator wouldn't be trying to just mirror you, they'd be trying to get involved in your personal life and become your only source of comfort. They'd try to get contact and send you messages after hours, they'd try to be close to you when you're alone, not when you're in a group session. They'd try to manipulate you, make you think less of yourself and those around you putting himself in a position of even more power.

For the record, I'm not claiming this person is a predator. But for the sake of argument, let's say he is. He certainly wouldn't start out with such drastic behaviors. It would be a progression, likely slow, to what you've described above. It's called "grooming."
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#10
Whether he's after you or not and imo he definitely is why put up with the discomfort.Bleed is bang on and if he crosses the line or he just enjoys harassing young women it's not fair on you when you go there for therapy.
Never ,never ,never give up

      Winston Churchill 
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