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No Friends Better Than Fake Friends
#1
I've been alone my whole life, not by choice.  When I tried to make friends I was either rejected or used.  So I've decided to be a loner. 
 I live in a large building and try to keep to myself, but I still have problems with people sometimes.  A new woman started working in the building.  I was wary of her because she came across as way too friendly.  She asked me if I had anyone to visit me, I said no.  She wanted to know if I was lonely in my apartment.  I replied that I had plenty to keep me occupied.  Then she got personal and said if I was depressed, maybe I should see a psychiatrist.  Was I in emotional pain?  I just looked at her, none of this was her business and I didn't answer.  Finally, she declared, "We're going to be friends!"  I found the statement irregular since I am just a job to her.  I tried to keep my distance. A few weeks later I left the building early to run some errands, as I usually do.  When I returned that woman was waiting for me.  She said she phoned me, rang my door bell because she hadn't seen me in awhile and some tenants expire in their apartment(!)  I felt shocked and disrespected!  She blabbed on and I quickly got away from her.  A couple of weeks later she contacted me about some routine papers I had to sign.  I expected her to be apologetic and try to smooth things over.  Instead she was defensive, got nasty and talked down to me like I was a child!  I was furious but kept quiet, because I didn't want things to get worse. (There's a policy that states if tenants are disrespectful to workers we can get thrown out.) I left her as soon as possible.  Last week as I was walking through the lobby when that woman greeted me, I said "hi" and kept going.  I was surprised she didn't hassle me about some other papers she said she had.  So I'm assuming when she handed in my forms her boss told her the papers were inappropriate. So far she hasn't phoned me or rang my bell.  I hate it here, but I can't move right now for several reasons.
It seems some of us were meant to be alone for whatever reason.  Some persons, including family, take that as an excuse to pounce on us.  I'm not going to let it get down!
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#2
I've got to be honest. If someone I never met was getting that personal, I would think that maybe she is extremely lonely herself or maybe a little psychotic. I'm not a doctor, so don't quote me on that. Is she an older woman?
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#3
Sounds like you took the appropriate action already. But if she keeps trying this, you're allowed to tell them to piss off. And if they ask why, tell them how their behavior has made you feel.

Whether you could forgive or forget or already decide that was the last straw is up to you, but at least they'll know.


As for her behavior, I definitely don't see it as flirty or even realistic as her trying to be a friend. Or maybe it was and she just really sucks at gauging visual cues, that you didn't appreciate it. But oh well, it doesn't matter. You two clearly don't click regardless.
[Image: giphy.gif]
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#4
(03-29-2019, 04:06 AM)Bluemoody Wrote: I've been alone my whole life, not by choice.  When I tried to make friends I was either rejected or used.  So I've decided to be a loner. 
 I live in a large building and try to keep to myself, but I still have problems with people sometimes.  A new woman started working in the building.  I was wary of her because she came across as way too friendly.  She asked me if I had anyone to visit me, I said no.  She wanted to know if I was lonely in my apartment.  I replied that I had plenty to keep me occupied.  Then she got personal and said if I was depressed, maybe I should see a psychiatrist.  Was I in emotional pain?  I just looked at her, none of this was her business and I didn't answer.  Finally, she declared, "We're going to be friends!"  I found the statement irregular since I am just a job to her.  I tried to keep my distance. A few weeks later I left the building early to run some errands, as I usually do.  When I returned that woman was waiting for me.  She said she phoned me, rang my door bell because she hadn't seen me in awhile and some tenants expire in their apartment(!)  I felt shocked and disrespected!  She blabbed on and I quickly got away from her.  A couple of weeks later she contacted me about some routine papers I had to sign.  I expected her to be apologetic and try to smooth things over.  Instead she was defensive, got nasty and talked down to me like I was a child!  I was furious but kept quiet, because I didn't want things to get worse. (There's a policy that states if tenants are disrespectful to workers we can get thrown out.) I left her as soon as possible.  Last week as I was walking through the lobby when that woman greeted me, I said "hi" and kept going.  I was surprised she didn't hassle me about some other papers she said she had.  So I'm assuming when she handed in my forms her boss told her the papers were inappropriate. So far she hasn't phoned me or rang my bell.  I hate it here, but I can't move right now for several reasons.
It seems some of us were meant to be alone for whatever reason.  Some persons, including family, take that as an excuse to pounce on us.  I'm not going to let it get down!

What kind of appartementis this you're living at? That sounds like a rediculous rule to be kicked out for being rude to someone
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#5
I had a next door neighbor a few years ago that would stop by once a week to make sure I wasn't dead.

He made no bones about it.  Hardly more than just a curiosity thing.  I mean, nice enough guy and all but seriously I did leave the house on occasion.  Why that wasn't good enough I do not know.

I even promised him that if I did happen to die I would let him know.

While we loners do need to get out, if we care at all about ourselves and our lives, it isn't going to be because some well meaning apartment worker or curious neighbor annoy us.  It will be because we decide to get out.
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#6
(03-29-2019, 04:06 AM)Bluemoody Wrote: I've been alone my whole life, not by choice.  When I tried to make friends I was either rejected or used.  So I've decided to be a loner. 
 I live in a large building and try to keep to myself, but I still have problems with people sometimes.  A new woman started working in the building.  I was wary of her because she came across as way too friendly.  She asked me if I had anyone to visit me, I said no.  She wanted to know if I was lonely in my apartment.  I replied that I had plenty to keep me occupied.  Then she got personal and said if I was depressed, maybe I should see a psychiatrist.  Was I in emotional pain?  I just looked at her, none of this was her business and I didn't answer.  Finally, she declared, "We're going to be friends!"  I found the statement irregular since I am just a job to her.  I tried to keep my distance. A few weeks later I left the building early to run some errands, as I usually do.  When I returned that woman was waiting for me.  She said she phoned me, rang my door bell because she hadn't seen me in awhile and some tenants expire in their apartment(!)  I felt shocked and disrespected!  She blabbed on and I quickly got away from her.  A couple of weeks later she contacted me about some routine papers I had to sign.  I expected her to be apologetic and try to smooth things over.  Instead she was defensive, got nasty and talked down to me like I was a child!  I was furious but kept quiet, because I didn't want things to get worse. (There's a policy that states if tenants are disrespectful to workers we can get thrown out.) I left her as soon as possible.  Last week as I was walking through the lobby when that woman greeted me, I said "hi" and kept going.  I was surprised she didn't hassle me about some other papers she said she had.  So I'm assuming when she handed in my forms her boss told her the papers were inappropriate. So far she hasn't phoned me or rang my bell.  I hate it here, but I can't move right now for several reasons.

It seems some of us were meant to be alone for whatever reason.  Some persons, including family, take that as an excuse to pounce on us.  I'm not going to let it get down!

You sound like a good guy to me. I have similar difficulties with people. Seems the more I ignore people the more problems I have though. That woman sounds like a nightmare. They thrive on quiet lonely npeople because it gives them free rein to be rude and obnoxious without any penalty. Id say you might want to practice a "don't mess with me" demeanour. Jordan Peterson is helpful in this regard. He says 'don't be too nice. you will get walked all over"
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#7
Yeah you need to change that place if you hate it. Not only because of that woman I suppose.
Keep low profile for now and plan your escapeWink

Seriously that rule is stupid and there must be other stupid things then.
You said you can't move right now then try not to get emotionaly involved in all that drama and look for better place in a meanwhile.
Also expecting crazy woman to apologise and get a clue is futile so don't be upset about it. Ignore her
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#8
Thanks everyone for your replies, they were right on target.  That woman is the one with the problem.  Actually, she's younger than me and we're both women.
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#9
(04-06-2019, 09:26 PM)Bluemoody Wrote: Thanks everyone for your replies, they were right on target.  That woman is the one with the problem.  Actually, she's younger than me and we're both women.

That actually changes the dynamic quite a lot.
[Image: giphy.gif]
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