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Generalized Anxiety and its Effects on Forming Social Relations
#1
Hello everyone

I have recently been further diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder(GAD) through multiple therapy sessions. After listening to my therapist list the symptoms of GAD, i was a bit taken back by how almost every symptom (12 out of 13 i think) applied to me. The constant worrying, heart palpitations, panic attacks, assuming others intent, jumping to conclusions, over-analyzing situations (Social and otherwise), constant and persistent self critical thinking, and the idea that i am never good enough have been a part of my life for over a decade now.

I am also bipolar and during my low days i find myself unable of leaving my room. I pace back and forth, going over the things i know i need to do and growing more anxious knowing i am not doing them. I play video games mindlessly like a zombie in order to avoid thinking instead of facing my anxious thoughts. When all fails, i lay on my bed on the verge of tears thinking how worthless my life, my existence is. I have this feeling in chest that i can only describe as a cold weight that removes all my motivation to do anything. I have lost count of how many times i thought of the release of death.

However, the most debilitating symptom of all and one of the reasons i am starting this thread, feeling like i am all alone in this, even though i know that anxiety affects more and more people these days. I am creating this thread on the hope that some of you, anyone, struggling with GAD shares their story. 

I am tired of feeling alone.

Thank you and have a nice day.
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#2
You're not alone in what you're going through but I know that it probably feels like you are.
I lived through years of pretty much what you're describing but my therapist refused to tell me a diagnosis like your therapist has. She said her clients tended to go look up what their diagnoses were meant to be like and then acted out those very symptoms....

To stay on topic: I'm not pacing in my room any more, going over the things I know I need to do and growing more anxious not doing them.....
I have some version of a life now, not that good but a lot better than it was. I have a few friends and I function in the real world.
What did I do to get moving? One effing step at a time. I started with baby steps, I initiated a a process of moving, every day I did SOMETHING....and accomplished something....I developed a habit of accomplishing things, a habit of succeeding....a momentum that kept on moving, getting more ambitious as it went.

Am I everything that I can be? No effing way. But things aren't too bad. I'm not really very happy but I am functional in a network of social contacts.....but I only consider three of them actual friends....one of whom is terminally ill. And an online relationship with a childhood friend who lives 2 time zones away.

Does this reply contribute to your thread?
Contentment comes from within.  Do not seek it from outside yourself.

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#3
Thanks for the reply constant stranger, this definitely contributes.

I understand the mentality behind the baby steps approach. As a matter of fact, i know it to be the healthiest approach when it comes to changing habits or striving towards a challenging goal.

But then a question rears its head, What qualifies as something? if it something small, how small are we talkin' here?, how do you measure it?

Here's an example: Lately, i've taken to the habit of making my bed every time after i get up. Does that qualify? 

Fair warning, if we go down further in this conversation, odds are i will over analyse. Just an FYI  Big Grin
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#4
If you didn't used to make your bed and now you do.....IMO that qualifies as "something".....give yourself a pat on the back, keep doing it and consider something a bit more ambitious.
BTW, how healthy is your diet and do you get enough exercise? A healthy body contributes mightily to a healthy mindset. A vigorous walking regimen is also a good opportunity to for some version of social contact.....
Contentment comes from within.  Do not seek it from outside yourself.

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#5
I work out 5 times a week and i eat clean with the occasional treat now and again. I also take 3000mg omega-3 everyday and a multivitamin for general health. working out is one of the things i know i do pretty well and consistently.

About a year ago, i was in a very dark place with personal and romantic problems. This was before i decided to seek any help for my mental health. That was when i started training seriously. At first i would spend 2-6 hours in the gym everyday. Just lifting away my worries, which worked at first. The endorphins helped a lot with my mood but with time the effects started being less severe. Nowadays, i have calmed down and get my training done in 45min to an hour.

The main thing i want to be consistent with though is my research work. I know i have a lot to do but sometimes i get overwhelmed, the anxiety sets in, and i end up wasting days, sometimes weeks doing nothing but worrying.

What about you? what do you do to keep healthy?
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#6
I eat a plant based diet: beans and rice and barley; my own hearty whole grain bread with real butter; a tablespoon of extra virgin olive oil every morning; bananas, apples, broccoli, carrots and grapes; cashews and almonds. An old person's multi vitamin, a B complex vitamin, a turmeric supplement and glucasimine chondriatin joint health supplement.
I walk vigorously 2 to 4 miles three or four times a week. In my rural area that walk is very calming, centering and mood helping. I see a fair amount of wildlife, agricultural activity and weather in this North American prairie.

Thank you for asking.
Contentment comes from within.  Do not seek it from outside yourself.

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#7
Work relieves us from three great evils: boredom, vice, and want. ~ French Proverb
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#8
(05-17-2019, 07:28 PM)sunlight_hope Wrote: Work relieves us from three great evils: boredom, vice, and want. ~ French Proverb

Funny you should say that, i do feel pretty in control and heck, even happy when i am knee deep in my work. Although on the other side of that coin, i did have a panic attack recently as as a result from getting overwhelmed by just how much i needed to get done.

That quote was originally by Voltaire wasn't it? (Totally didn't google it  Big Grin )
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