Hi. I'm new here and going through a very difficult time at the moment...

[PEGASUS]

Sorry if this is long...

I am in my early 50s and suffering with loneliness and social anxiety. Most everyone I care about has died or moved on. My best and only remaining friend (of 20 years) died last December. I now just have my two cats and my mother, with whom I speak with a few times a week. Once I lose her, I will pretty much be completely alone in the world. I do have a good job at the moment, but I don't really socialize with people I work with.

I let having Klinefelter Syndrome ruin my life, and I withdrew from the world and isolated myself because of it. It caused me to have some embarrassing issues, and I let two bad experiences cause me to give up on ever having an intimate relationship. KS also made me sterile and unable to have children of my own. I never really expected to have lived as long as I have.

I am thinking of going to counseling to see if I can overcome my severe social anxiety and brave going out and meeting new people. It just seems, at my age, that it may be impossible. My fear of rejection and ridicule has always held me back. I feel that I am at a crossroads in my life. Either I try and turn things around for the better or reside to this being how my journey ends.

I let my whole existence pass me by. If I didn't give up, if I kept trying, maybe I could have found someone to share my life with and had a family of my own (even if having to adopt). I think I would have been a good father, unlike my own father. There are so many shitty parents out there who have no business having kids. But then I look at how the world is today and maybe I wouldn’t have wanted to bring more children into it, even if I could. I do love my pets as if they were my own children. Still, I feel like I was cheated out of having a life because of my medical condition.

I often feel envious of those who have families of their own and are happy. I go back and forth from wallowing in self pity and hopelessness, to feeling angry that I was cursed with this condition. And now the feeling of loneliness is becoming too much to bear. I can't stop thinking about the loved ones that I've lost and how much better my life was when I had them in it. And how I will be living the rest of my days alone without anyone who cares about me and with nothing else to look forward to in life.

 

[okidoke]

Welcome to the forum.

Your circumstances are understood by many here. Life can certainly be challenging in so many varied ways. You are lucky that you’ve had good friends and that you have a good job; that is already a level above many here, so that’s one positive thing to admire about yourself. I don’t know anything about KS but yes you probably should get some therapy if you have access to it and the finances. There’s no harm in trying, right? And the results could really benefit you socially. I wish you well.

 

[Sometimes]

Hi Pegasus, I'm glad to meet you. Welcome here. Looking forward to getting to know you.

 

[user 150037]

You have friends on here. Welcome x

 

[Walnut]

Welcome @PEGASUS! I hope you enjoy your time here.

 

[Sir Joseph]

Sorry if this is long...

I am in my early 50s and suffering with loneliness and social anxiety. Most everyone I care about has died or moved on. My best and only remaining friend (of 20 years) died last December. I now just have my two cats and my mother, with whom I speak with a few times a week. Once I lose her, I will pretty much be completely alone in the world. I do have a good job at the moment, but I don't really socialize with people I work with.

I let having Klinefelter Syndrome ruin my life, and I withdrew from the world and isolated myself because of it. It caused me to have some embarrassing issues, and I let two bad experiences cause me to give up on ever having an intimate relationship. KS also made me sterile and unable to have children of my own. I never really expected to have lived as long as I have.

I am thinking of going to counseling to see if I can overcome my severe social anxiety and brave going out and meeting new people. It just seems, at my age, that it may be impossible. My fear of rejection and ridicule has always held me back. I feel that I am at a crossroads in my life. Either I try and turn things around for the better or reside to this being how my journey ends.

I let my whole existence pass me by. If I didn't give up, if I kept trying, maybe I could have found someone to share my life with and had a family of my own (even if having to adopt). I think I would have been a good father, unlike my own father. There are so many shitty parents out there who have no business having kids. But then I look at how the world is today and maybe I wouldn’t have wanted to bring more children into it, even if I could. I do love my pets as if they were my own children. Still, I feel like I was cheated out of having a life because of my medical condition.

I often feel envious of those who have families of their own and are happy. I go back and forth from wallowing in self pity and hopelessness, to feeling angry that I was cursed with this condition. And now the feeling of loneliness is becoming too much to bear. I can't stop thinking about the loved ones that I've lost and how much better my life was when I had them in it. And how I will be living the rest of my days alone without anyone who cares about me and with nothing else to look forward to in life.

Welcome to the Forum Pegasus. I think you'll find all kinds of people here willing to listen and offer support. I try to provide a Christian perspective on life and your situation compels me to respond with two thoughts.

If you feel strong ties to where you're living, I'd expect you to have some local club and volunteer opportunities that should welcome any new face or helping hand. I'd suggest though that a good evangelical church may be the best environment for shy, insecure, physically challenged, or struggling people to reach out for social interaction and acceptance. Having lived all around the country, traveled extensively, and attended dozens of churches over my lifetime, I've found that a "good" church of Christians is safer ground for being greeted, welcomed, and treated kindly than anywhere else in the social world.

If you're not tied to Virginia, you might ponder the idea of moving to a retirement community once you turn 55 (retired or not). I'm visiting The Villages here in Florida for a second time and here's a few things I've found attractive:

It's full of old people in their 50's-90's, many of whom have various physical limitations or problems. A person here handicapped in any way fits in well and will find others generally accepting such flaws. Like the English connection that bonds expats, aging health issues are a shared connection here that serves as a similar bond.

It's an extraordinarily social environment, created by the abundant free time/vacation attitude of the retirees, the hundreds of organized social clubs and activities, the community pools and rec centers, and the golf cart scene. If one simply leaves the house, a day doesn't go by here that doesn't bring social interaction with others. If you continually find the real world too cold, intimidating, or challenging to socially engage, I'd suggest that this retirement community offers a different experience that many find very inviting and comfortable.

 

[Rvanson]

Sorry if this is long...

I am in my early 50s and suffering with loneliness and social anxiety. Most everyone I care about has died or moved on. My best and only remaining friend (of 20 years) died last December. I now just have my two cats and my mother, with whom I speak with a few times a week. Once I lose her, I will pretty much be completely alone in the world. I do have a good job at the moment, but I don't really socialize with people I work with.

I let having Klinefelter Syndrome ruin my life, and I withdrew from the world and isolated myself because of it. It caused me to have some embarrassing issues, and I let two bad experiences cause me to give up on ever having an intimate relationship. KS also made me sterile and unable to have children of my own. I never really expected to have lived as long as I have.

I am thinking of going to counseling to see if I can overcome my severe social anxiety and brave going out and meeting new people. It just seems, at my age, that it may be impossible. My fear of rejection and ridicule has always held me back. I feel that I am at a crossroads in my life. Either I try and turn things around for the better or reside to this being how my journey ends.

I let my whole existence pass me by. If I didn't give up, if I kept trying, maybe I could have found someone to share my life with and had a family of my own (even if having to adopt). I think I would have been a good father, unlike my own father. There are so many shitty parents out there who have no business having kids. But then I look at how the world is today and maybe I wouldn’t have wanted to bring more children into it, even if I could. I do love my pets as if they were my own children. Still, I feel like I was cheated out of having a life because of my medical condition.

I often feel envious of those who have families of their own and are happy. I go back and forth from wallowing in self pity and hopelessness, to feeling angry that I was cursed with this condition. And now the feeling of loneliness is becoming too much to bear. I can't stop thinking about the loved ones that I've lost and how much better my life was when I had them in it. And how I will be living the rest of my days alone without anyone who cares about me and with nothing else to look forward to in life.

 

[isthatso]

Pegasus
Your story is sad. You deserve a change of luck. Better fortune. I like your writing style by the way.

 

[Bev Thornton]

I am thinking of going to counseling to see if I can overcome my severe social anxiety and brave going out and meeting new people. It just seems, at my age, that it may be impossible. My fear of rejection and ridicule has always held me back. I feel that I am at a crossroads in my life. Either I try and turn things around for the better or reside to this being how my journey ends.

That's probably worth trying, the counseling for social anxiety.

I'm in a similar situation as you, had gender assignment surgery at birth. Luckily, the surgeon guessed correctly. That's how I wound-up being a "boy named Sue" sort of thing. Gym class in adolescence was difficult. During a promiscuous period I didn't do any group stuff. And there have been plenty of embarrassments. As a result, I became demisexual which is pretty much no huggy no kissy until I get a wedding ring. I gave up on the possibility of romantic relationships five years ago. The current dating app culture just isn't for me. I don't fit that world.

The social anxiety thing, though, that's a kind of thing that can't be impossible, really. It can seem so, but it can't really be impossible because it is a changeable state in the first place. Matter of finding the right therapy. I did 18 months of it for PTSD and it worked great. Counseling for social anxiety just might make you see the possibility.