HoneyMug
Member
Hello, I'm new. I'm not going to say my real name but I'll go with HoneyMug. I went with that because when I had to find a username I had a mug the colour of honey. So there. That's it. I'm a female. I'm exactly 17.60 years old today I think. That's what the calculator said. But then again I was never too interested in math. I don't know what happened to me. I used to be fairly popular from what I remember and I lost my virginity at a normal age for my peers. I had boyfriends and a more or less girlfriend. I threw great parties and got invited to some as well. I was doing fairly well for a uhh 15 to 16 year old at the time. Then I don't know it just slowly slipped out didn't it? I started isolating myself as an eating disorder (EDNOS) blossomed. Now I'm diagnosed with the thing and my best friend is an almost-stranger in California that due to time-zones isn't available when I'm available. I've lost touch with my peers. They reject me now and shun me from their secret little circles. There are two people in my school who consider me a friend, but they know very very little about how I actually feel. It's been like this for a year now. It's a wee bit whack, but nearly every night for about a month now I dream about floating in complete nothing (not darkness or water, but just nothing. In emptiness) with someone. I never know who, but I know that I am loved and fully accepted. I wake up and see and feel everything. I realize that none of that existed. I am alone. I guess I joined this site because I want to meet people like me. Most of you are probably in worse situations, I know that. However, I'm still lonely. This year doesn't represent my life, but so far it's a lonely life.