unload about anything

[/align] I'm the kind of person who thrives on adventure and unpredictabile situations. I love hearing about people who do things that society labels 'crazy'. I believe that everyone forms their own reality, and that's how they live. Weather it's a postitve or negative reality, that doesn't matter, because either way, they do what they know and believe is right. We're all just doing what we think is right, and if we don't feel okay inside, something isn't right in our reality.
I've noticed a lot of people don't really try to learn about the world, their focus is more about 'their world'. For instance, how may people have taken the effort to study religions? How many people have actually sat down and done an in depth study of world religion? There are so many religions and spiritualities in this world it is practically impossible to count. For anyone interested you might want to visit http://www.religioustolerance.com
I can proudly say that I believe in God, but that's it. I am not any specific religion, nor will I ever agree to join anything that feels like a cult. There is way too much prejudice in organized religion for me to buy in.
This thread is really about the fact that I feel stale. There's been no action in my life for the past year. I work all day, come home, walk the dog, watch TV/check my e-mail, and go to sleep. My boyfriend works all day, comes home, watches TV, and goes to sleep. We both eat, too. I'm doing nothing for myself, and nothing that matters to the world. I could live and die, and no one but my family and a short group of 'friends' would notice.
I want to go in a different direction, but I'm going nowhere. I'm trapped in this quaint little life I've started. I'm in love, but I constantly have to be in motion. When I have alone time it's not pleasant, it's lonely. I'm bored, I need action and adrenaline. I don't want to work some meaningless job to make money that I never see.
A part of me always wants to runaway. I've done this in every relationship I've ever had. My current boyfriend of 3 years is my longest relationship. Not just in love, but in life. I want to getaway from what I have, and see things I never seen before. I get this feeling (you could call it a fiend or a jonesing) to leave everything and go somewhere else. I have a wandering soul. I think that's where my troubling past and bad habits come from. I seem to be very hard to satisfy.
I just had to unload.
~AMC

Ah, the soul which yearns for some thing more, you cant really put your finger on it, but you know there has to be more, and there is, we are not mere cattle in which we are to be placed on auto pilot to do monotonous jobs and lives, dream of a place deep in your heart and mind, and go for it, hell, don't even...come back! just go and see where the spirit of life takes you

Good luck.

I hear ya. Restless, listless, yearning.

"It's the pure, feral rush of freedom-the kind of lightheaded thrill and uncertainty that a wild animal must feel upon being let out of a cage." [Peter Oliver]

"Most of my wandering in the desert I've done alone. Not so much from choice as from necessity~I generally prefer to go places where no one else wants to go." [Edward Abbey]

"Often the places (people) remember are not the names they find on the maps. It is the little nameless waterfalls they happen upon or some canyon they stumble into. It's not the places someone told them about but the ones they discover for themselves." [David Mills]

"For my part, I travel not to go anywhere, but to go. I travel for travel's sake. The great affair is to move." [Robert Louis Stevenson]

"The world cannot be discovered by a journey of miles, no matter how long, but only a spiritual journey, a journey of one inch, very arduous and humbling and joyful, by which we arrive at the ground at our feet, and learn to be home." [Wendell Berry]

"The only true voyage of discovery, the only really rejuvenating experience, would be not to visit strange lands but to possess [new] eyes...." [Marcel Proust]

yeah tell me about it. I never fit. Ever since I was like three years old I've wanted to be Indiana Jones. I think I've done a decent job of it so far.

Interesting that the people who have found themselves on this forum are admitted wanderers...

Do you wear an Aussie Hat?

DreamingOfValdez said:

... I believe that everyone forms their own reality, and that's how they live. Weather it's a positive or negative reality, that doesn't matter, because either way, they do what they know and believe is right. We're all just doing what we think is right, and if we don't feel okay inside, something isn't right in our reality ...

Click to expand...

Valdez, I echo your restlessness. So much of what you have written passes through my thoughts everyday... what I try to remember is this: peace is not external. No matter where you go, your restlessness will follow because you are carrying it inside of you.

I feel that peace begins with internal rest. You spoke of religion - I confess I spend most of my time studying religion and philosophy... It is amazing to me how wise our ancestors have been and how so many of them have shared the same message again and again.

In the Christian Bible there is a little quote that says "Be still and know that I am God". This is generally interpreted as "calm down, I'm God - everything is ok"... But I feel that this is actually instruction saying "Be still, and you will know that I am God".

You also see the same idea in sacred Hindu texts (and other religions with a karmic view). Peace/enlightenment is found through the loss of karma. Karma literally translates as "action"... so peace is found through the loss of action... through being still. Once you reach such a state, you are "released".

I am not entirely sure why I chose to share this with you, but I do hope that you find it helpful... or at the very least, interesting. Just try to remember, what you are looking for is not outside of yourself. Peace is found inside yourself - you can find it there because that is its home... Peace resides IN you. You just need to remember that it is there.

Oh, I think you might have just struck a chord with all of us. I, too, have had that restless spirit and hated the drab sameness that sometimes makes people not feel loney...just bored to death lol. Here is a corny poem I wrote a few years ago about just that.
My Wilderness
Some distant calling beckons me, 'twas time to take my flight
Sweet bird of youth, I had to choose which road of wrong or right.
I saw a road 'twas to my right and this way seemed right to me
and to my left a brambled path was 0h so plain to see.
I gazed into the wilderness where no man 'fore had tred
decided in a blinding flash thats where I'd go instead.
Just glancing back t'ward the roads with sadness and regret
I chose the untamed wilderness and where I'm searching yet.
Come taste the wine of misery, clutch sorrow to your breast.
Be haunted by each waking hour, but my wilderness still best.
In moments of calm solitude, God's compass guides my way
thru my chosen wilderness, its home and I shall stay.
Two roads were there and clear to me, but somehow I got lost,
I blazed a trail thru wilderness at strange and bitter cost.
I fought on thru the brambled way, no sure path could I see
Until I spied a road again; the right road dim to me.
Somehow, I followed that right road, but seemed not right you see,
I longed to see the wilderness for had become home to me.
So logical that road to right, so unsure road to left
But instincts guide when great minds fail
MY WILDERNESS IS BEST
For sad to say at journey's end, no wilderness to tame
It's not decided by which road you take, but how you play life's game.
So, now this is sometimes how I have expressed my feelings and it has been therapeutic, so maybe we can share these expressions on this forum and all can help each other.

Great poem mountain girl. Well said indeed. and to M. Eileen, I do appreciate that. Although you're not the first person to tell me "No matter where you go, your restlessness will follow because you are carrying it inside of you." I understand what people mean when they say that, I just have a hard time following it. I've always found movement and action to be theraputic. For instance, if I have a bad day, or my stomach hurts really bad, I'll go snowboarding and I totally forget I feel like crap. Everything bad goes away, and it's just me left....and I feel in control. While everyone I know gets comfort being around people they love, I get comfort from doing things I love. It doesn't matter if I'm alone, as long as I'm moving. All my friends tell me to slow down, calm down, relax, everythings right, there's no need to be restless, life is good. I posses this constant sense of urgency. We can't all just be cattle. How can the world change, if people are only concerned about themselves? For me to just stop trying and let life pan itself out, isn't good enough. I don't want to accept my current job as a career, and be there in 20 years. Yes, I will have kept my boyfriend, maybe get married and have children and live in a little suburban home where I will eventually retire and live off of social security checks ( if they are still available). That's many people's dream, but not mine. I love my boyfriend, and I'll probably want a family one day, but no time soon. I want to do the things that no one else is doing. All I can say is I don't know exactly what I want, but i know it's not this.

DreamingOfValdez said:

Great poem mountain girl. Well said indeed. and to M. Eileen, I do appreciate that. Although you're not the first person to tell me "No matter where you go, your restlessness will follow because you are carrying it inside of you." I understand what people mean when they say that, I just have a hard time following it. I've always found movement and action to be theraputic. For instance, if I have a bad day, or my stomach hurts really bad, I'll go snowboarding and I totally forget I feel like crap. Everything bad goes away, and it's just me left....and I feel in control. While everyone I know gets comfort being around people they love, I get comfort from doing things I love.  It doesn't matter if I'm alone, as long as I'm moving. All my friends tell me to slow down, calm down, relax, everythings right, there's no need to be restless, life is good. I posses this constant sense of urgency. We can't all just be cattle. How can the world change, if people are only concerned about themselves? For me to just stop trying and let life pan itself out, isn't good enough. I don't want to accept my current job as a career, and be there in 20 years. Yes, I will have kept my boyfriend, maybe get married and have children and live in a little suburban home where I will eventually retire and live off of social security checks ( if they are still available). That's many people's dream, but not mine. I love my boyfriend, and I'll probably want a family one day, but no time soon. I want to do the things that no one else is doing. All I can say is I don't know exactly what I want, but i know it's not this.

Click to expand...

You echo my feelings, I say go for it! go on an adventure and never return.

Sometimes things aren't that easy. You always have to make a sacrifice to get your way. I'm not sure what I'm willing to sacrifice yet. One wrong choice, that's all it will take to start over from the beginning. I stand in the way of myself, because I'm worried about who I will effect from the decisions I make. I stoped making it about me, and started making it about everyone else. I guess that makes me a good friend and a great doormat. The part about never returning, easier said than done. Most people end up, right back where they started. I've found myself traveling between the four same states my entire life.