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Why are women so difficult to understand?!
Hi everyone,

I'm 20 and I have never had a girlfriend. I'm gonna try hard not to start sulking and feel sorry for myself but everyone around me seems to have a million times better luck than me.

I think of myself as a pretty decent guy. I am very nice to girls I like and eventually put their priorities above mine even though i know this tends to throw you into the friend zone. But it seems that no matter what I do, I'm not good enough or I never become important enough to them for them to consider me into a relationship.

A girl i have known for 5 years recently told me she might be moving around into my area. I immediately started helping her plan and do research on what she needs to do to settle down when she gets here. I would call her and IM her telling her i'm very excited that she's moving over here. She told me she was excited to see me and missed seeing me very much. I thought maybe things were going to turn out good but recently she stopped talking to me. If i message her or call her our conversations would be short and she would abruptly stop replying. She use to call me regularly to talk for 1 or 2 hours but now she never calls anymore. I don't understand why, and I'm positive she's single. Did she find a special someone and decided not to even maintain a friendship with me? Did I mess up somewhere? Is she just not into me? What's going on here?! I want to ask her why but every time we talk she still tries to act kinda nice.

Awhile ago, there was another girl i liked and I was really nice to her. We became good friends and maybe i was put into the friend zone but we would still eat together everyday. What confuses me is that there a double standard in our relationship. Everytime she has a plan with her friends she would cancel our date or just tell me she doesn't want to eat today when I invite her out. That is fine, but sometimes if I go out with a friend (which i barely have any) to grab food for dinner, and I talk to her later she would be kind of upset. She would tell me that she still hasn't ate yet, implying that she was waiting for me to invite her to eat. But when I decide to leave my schedule open for her and ask her if she wants to eat, she would already be hanging out with her friends. So she can cancel our appointment and go hang out with friends whenever she feels like it but I'm suppose to report to her everytime I go somewhere and ask for permission?? I don't get it. And obviously she doesn't consider me to be boyfriend material because everytime I try to touch her appropriately (ie stroke her hair, put my hand on her back) she backs off. What does she expect of me? What am I doing wrong? Or am i just her chauffeur to kill time with when she has no one to eat with or to hang out?

Can some ladies in here enlighten me? What am I doing wrong and why do the girls I meet always seem to be so illogical? They are hot and then cold and just make no sense ...I know its probably cause I've never been in a relationship and have no idea what I'm doing but I really am trying my best here. I'm sincere, caring and loving but nothing seems to work and I have still have no luck. What should I do? Sorry for the long rant and for those of you who finished reading everything I really appreciate it.

Depressed and defeated,
You know it's not so controversial if you point it out.

Also to the poster, I would say you're getting used because people are rotten. Women just happen to be half of the problem. Women go through the same thing for dudes. At least none of them beat you.
Stopped centering your happiness around a woman or any women.

As you stated sometimes they're hot and sometimes they'll trun cold.
Don't try to figure them out becuase you simply won't know when the meter is going
to swing in either direction. Women are more they're more apt to react to
their emotions more than men.

Just work on yourself.
Love yourself first and foremost..this will leave you at a state of being less desperate and depressed.
Knowing that you're complete and happy as you are. Knowing that you don't NEED her.'s just a matter of WANTS...If you don't get what you want, it's not the end of the world
or there's something wrong with you.

LET GO of her..LET GO of your guilt. LET GO of your fears.
LET GO of all of it...the good times and bad times. No expectations.
Just be in the moment.

Yes sometimes I'm just her intertainment...even if it means I'm banging the hell out her just
so she can get her rocks off, to pass the time. I'm not her Mr. Right , I'm her Mr. Right now.
Yes, she will leave that door is I as a man to take the opportunity.

Yes somtimes I'm her emotional tampons..Yes I choose to listen to her and be there for her,
but as i said...LET GO...let it all go through you...don't hang on.

Yes sometimes people cut off relationship when they are not ready to step forward to the next level.
Stop internalizing yourself for someone's else struggles.
Sometimes it's easier to just walk away. Right , wrong , or indifference...ultimately you get to the
piont of LETTING GO. You gave yourself an opportunity...that's good enough.

If you let'll be less depressed.
There's nothing morbid wrong with her nor you...It's just life's many experiences.
Accept the good times and the bad times. A relationship or a journey has many
twist , turns, hills and valley..(such as life)
BE in the moment...BE MR. RIGHT NOW.
Just be good at what you do, doesn't mather what it is just be good at it. this alone will attract people to you. and that my friend is the big secret... be good at what you do and never be ashamed for what you are.
well, I am a girl and I dont understand other girls, so I am really not a good person to answer. But I liked reading the thread! I wanna kinda understand my own kind too,sometimes.....
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
Robert Frost
i'm not gonna read the wall of text, sorry... but to answer your thread titled question

Because you are trying to understand them.

Dont try to understand them, try to be yourself and be happy... you wont have to understand the right woman/man if they truly appreciate who you are.
Thanks for all the input guys
I'm dealing with it and am feeling a little better now
I guess I'll never really understand them but after reading all of your replies I'm beginning to think that that's okay
their not really difficult to understand. all you have to do is get into deep conversations and you will understand them.
i feel you man...i honestly do, i got the same problem with girls everytime, but I guess that's the moral in the end, as everyone points out: There is nothing to understand, don't think just enjoy the moment. It sounds stupid, but in practice I guess it's a whole different story.
"The world is my country, all mankind are my brethren, and to do good is my religion" - Thomas Paine

"Sow a thought, you reap an act,
Sow an act, you reap a habit,
Sow a habit, you reap a character,
Sow a character, you reap a destiny..."
They're hard to understand because they purposely throw up walls and waste everyone's time with their mind games. I've given up the idea of finding any woman who was raised in this society... they are all to brainwashed and misguided. Don't think that you're doing anything wrong its just the RETARDED way they operate... *rolls eyes* save yourself for the one, if any, that will truly complete you and I promise she wont care how u look or "measure up" to society's corrupted standards

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