15 signs that a man has never had a girlfriend

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

I think girls have a better sense about when guys are interested in them than vice versa. I would try to work on the eye contact, but being able to go up and introduce yourself is a start.

I think part of the problem is that there is no one thing that works to impress every girl (if there were, every guy would do it) - how you show a girl that you're worth her time really depends on the girl (that, I guess, is one of those things you learn when you do things one way until they stop working - when they stop working, you realize that not all girls are the same, but all that is beside the point).

Yes, I think I need to work on the eye contact.

And if I met someone tomorrow who understood shyness, it wouldn't matter that much. My eye contact gets better once I've known you for a while, but it does make a bad first impression.

I know not all girls are the same. I think my problem is insecurity. I don't know how to work what I've got.

I don't recall saying that. I recall saying one can never have too many friends though. (hmm)

The argument was over me saying that I wouldn't want to be friends with someone who I wanted more from, like a relationship, and how it would be terrible to want to be more than friends the whole time you are friends.

Then you said, it shouldn't be a bad thing to be friends, even if you want a relationship from them.

If that was misconstrued, I'm sorry, but it was a recent argument, and I believe only two weeks ago.

---

By the way, I read somewhere that the strongest indicator for lasting long term relationships was whether or not both people liked or disliked horror movies - people who stayed together the longest tended to have the same opinion of horror movies as their partners did.

Yes, this is probably a good indicator.

I love, love horror movies, but don't like the really gory stuff. Just the kind that makes me jump out of my seat.

The girl I was talking to today (I know you're quoting a post I deleted, but I felt it was written badly) felt the same way. And I know I find her attractive.

I just don't know....sigh.

 

[VanillaCreme]

No, I'm saying that assuming that the reason I am single is because I am gay and in the closet, is ridiculous. And a lot of people do assume that, when they figure out you've never had a girlfriend.

Being gay is nothing to be ashamed of. But I am not gay, therefore I am not in the closet. I just have trouble with girls.

Vanilla, if I were actually attracted to other men, I would have problems with dating them. It actually would be easier for me to pretend to be gay, since I have no sexual attraction towards guys. It's the sexual attraction towards girls that seems to create anxiety on my end, which weirds them out and makes them not want to date me. But since I would have no interest in doing anything romantic with another guy, even kissing him, I can't pretend to be gay. I want a girlfriend.

Did I miss the post where someone assumed you were gay? I must of missed the post saying that, and I'm not arsed enough to read back. I think you completely misunderstood what was being said to you, and you're answering things that I've missed being asked or questioned. I'm sorry.

But yeah, I would think that gay or straight, the issues would still be the same. Which was my original point. It doesn't matter what orientation is, people would still have their insecurities and issues and whatnot. I think that if I were lesbian, I still would have had some issues myself, because a lot of it lies within ourselves.

 

[Locke]

And there is an art to relationships. It's called courting. I don't know how to court...I know how to make friends, but I don't know how to convince a girl that she should date me, or even that I'm interested in her. Am I supposed to wear a sign that says, "I like you, please kiss me?" What?

All right, here's what you say:

"Hi, my name is Muse. I'm interested in you. Will you date me?"

If they say no, it's probably because they're gay or something. Or it might be because you don't flirt with them first, so try that. You're not looking for a new best friend, but don't lay it on too thick either. A mix of friendly conversation and flirting works well. This way you can gauge their interest - if they flirt back, keep going. If not, you have a new friend. You win either way.

Of course, some girls will flirt and still say no to a date. Don't take that as a bad thing or obsess over it. Speaking of gay, if anyone has ever thought that you're gay its probably because they know what you apparently don't: You are perfectly capable of getting a girlfriend. Since you don't have one, you must be gay or something. People aren't all that bright, try not to take it personally.

 

[ardour]

deleted

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

And there is an art to relationships. It's called courting. I don't know how to court...I know how to make friends, but I don't know how to convince a girl that she should date me, or even that I'm interested in her. Am I supposed to wear a sign that says, "I like you, please kiss me?" What?

All right, here's what you say:

"Hi, my name is Muse. I'm interested in you. Will you date me?"

If they say no, it's probably because they're gay or something. Or it might be because you don't flirt with them first, so try that. You're not looking for a new best friend, but don't lay it on too thick either. A mix of friendly conversation and flirting works well. This way you can gauge their interest - if they flirt back, keep going. If not, you have a new friend. You win either way.

Of course, some girls will flirt and still say no to a date. Don't take that as a bad thing or obsess over it. Speaking of gay, if anyone has ever thought that you're gay its probably because they know what you apparently don't: You are perfectly capable of getting a girlfriend. Since you don't have one, you must be gay or something. People aren't all that bright, try not to take it personally.

Isn't that a bit forward? I don't want to creep her out.

 

[theglasscell]

There is really no art to dating and meeting women. It just happens that you'll have chemistry with some people. Just don't be phony and use stupid pick up lines.

The last person I was with was interested in me because of the book I was reading, because it happened to be her favorite novel. It could be something totally random like that.

There was no learning experience as far as meeting girls in high school. You would just be out with friends and eventually meet a girl you clicked with.

Just as often you'd meet girls who loathed you right off the bat.

The best thing to do is to get offline and put yourself into new situations.

The more you stay online or make virtual friends, the less chance you'll have of doing that in real life.

If you're shy try online dating. OkCupid is good for meeting people, the dates haven't always gone well and sometimes they were terrible but it's fairly easy to at least get first dates on there and that helps you practice.

The most important thing is to be yourself and be positive.

You never know what girls are thinking. There was this girl I'd been avoiding for a while because I thought she hated me because another guy told me she got creeped out when I was talking about serial killers.

Then yesterday I ran into her and she was like "Where you have been? I missed having you around."

I was not expecting that at all.

 

[SophiaGrace]

Edit.

 

[Locke]

Isn't that a bit forward? I don't want to creep her out.

The part about asking them directly was a joke, but I think you do need to be more forward. Like I said, a balance of flirting and conversation is usually good. From what you've posted, it sounds like it has been all conversation. So yes, try to be a little more forward. If you flirt and get no response but keep flirting anyway, that will creep them out. But a little flirting will be okay if you do it appropriately.

Being rejected by girls is only scary because you look at it that way. If you take it as a learning experience, then it will become easier to talk to them. You said earlier that you missed out on the relationship education that the rest of us recieved (Or something to that effect). The rest of us learned by trial and error. And while some people are better at flirting than others, you'll never learn until you try.

 

[blackdot]

but I have no idea how to create chemistry.

You aren't alone on that one. A lot of women want instant chemistry when they meet but I have no clue what that is. When I took chemistry back in high school there was nothing regarding dating. It was about mixing chemicals. I just knew that when you mixed sulfur with stuff, it would stink.

If you ask women what it is, they don't know but they require it as one of the prerequisites for dating.

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Isn't that a bit forward? I don't want to creep her out.

The part about asking them directly was a joke, but I think you do need to be more forward. Like I said, a balance of flirting and conversation is usually good. From what you've posted, it sounds like it has been all conversation. So yes, try to be a little more forward. If you flirt and get no response but keep flirting anyway, that will creep them out. But a little flirting will be okay if you do it appropriately.

When I meet someone the first time, there is no flirting. I can't flirt with someone I don't know. Something like that would take months to happen cause I have to know the person first. If women require that instantly, then I might as well give up and go ahead and die cause there is no hope of finding someone.

 

[theglasscell]

I agree that a lot of women do expect some sort of instant chemistry. That can be hard to develop if it's a blind date or something where people are generally awkward.

But there are times when you do have some sort of chemistry with someone that is really powerful. I don't think it's just with dating and sex. Even with guys I've met as male friends I have chemistry with some guys I don't.

I remember one time after a date where I met this girl and we talked at a coffee shop for four hours then when I asked her for a second date she was like "I'd be willing to hang out again as friends. I quite liked you but I just didn't feel that spark."

And another time the girl said "I just wasn't feeling it."

It's really strange what girls will base their decisions on. This one girl I date for a while used to see me walking around and she thought I looked like that doll called My Buddy, which was the basis for Chucky from those "Child's Play" movies. And we ended up going out for two years. But her only reason for being into me at first was that I looked like some weird toy from the 80's.

 

[VanillaCreme]

A lot of everyone would want some chemistry. Has nothing to do with gender. Guys can be just as wanting with that special pop as ladies can be.

 

[Locke]

Isn't that a bit forward? I don't want to creep her out.

The part about asking them directly was a joke, but I think you do need to be more forward. Like I said, a balance of flirting and conversation is usually good. From what you've posted, it sounds like it has been all conversation. So yes, try to be a little more forward. If you flirt and get no response but keep flirting anyway, that will creep them out. But a little flirting will be okay if you do it appropriately.

When I meet someone the first time, there is no flirting. I can't flirt with someone I don't know. Something like that would take months to happen cause I have to know the person first. If women require that instantly, then I might as well give up and go ahead and die cause there is no hope of finding someone.

I never said anything what women require. But letting a woman know that you have feelings for her often is a requirement for starting a relationship, unless she lets you know first. You can't create chemistry, but flirting can help both people to see if it's there or not, and help to let a woman know that you are interested.

 

[blackdot]

I remember one time after a date where I met this girl and we talked at a coffee shop for four hours then when I asked her for a second date she was like "I'd be willing to hang out again as friends. I quite liked you but I just didn't feel that spark."

There's every date for me.
Heck, about 25% of the profiles out there for women have a stipulation that there has to be an instant spark.

It kind of explains why those same women have been on the dating sites for years with no positive results.

 

[Limlim]

mod edit - No.

 

[blackdot]

..

 

[Sarah_Lbnz]

mod edit - No

 

[Bob Arctor]

Lol Sarah (ono)

 

[Bones]

Five star thread - would read again!

 

[Limlim]

You say no Sci-Fi, but I think deep down in your heart, you say yes. And that makes me happy. Sarah however, is just unoriginal. She said the exact same thing you did and that's just silly.

 

[Sci-Fi]

No