A different light.

[MisterLonely]

Things have become heated in my sub-human thread.

Last night I was going to bed when someone very dear to me made me see the thread and myself in a different way, she told me how it hurt her, me saying I'm never good enough, how I never get what I feel I need and how I think no one took the time to get to know me. 
It made her feel like she didn't matter to me, like she never mattered to me, and that made me feel like such a fool...

Because the past year has been a rollercoaster ride, and she was the one constant good thing making me want to get back in line the second the ride was over, I'm not great at metaphors, what I'm saying is you did take the time, and I was good enough for you as I am, flaws and insecurities included.

Last nights talk made me realize just how well you know me, I'm sorry, the last thing I ever want to do is make you hurt.
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To the defence! ... or was it offence,

I did not agree with the description of a chameleon personality, because I have never let go of my thoughts or believes to fit in ever in my life, if I did, I'd probably have "friends", so i jumped to the defence, and subsequently also in the offence.

If anyone thinks I act differently with others than I do one on one, or when others are around in chat for example, that is not because I try to fit in, that is because different levels of trust exist between you and I, or between me and the other members of a room. I think we all like to show our best side first, before we open ourselves up to anyone.

M bear the brunt of my defence/assault, his post was not malicious in any way, he just tried to tell me to be myself, which I took at the time as another accusation of being a chameleon, I realize now it was not, thanks again to the wise words from that talk last night.

And for that M, I'm sorry, the effort you took to help is appreciated.
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Kamya and Wallflower, I think we're good, but I won't exclude you from this just because I think that, I wasn't offended by either of you, but I was already on the offensive, and once you switch phasers to kill, it's hard to go back to stun. Another metaphor I hope comes across the way i meant it.
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[TheLoadedDog]

Don't worry too much. The chameleon thing is real, and we ALL do it. It's called "code shifting" (you can look it up on Wiki). I speak to a top ranked surgeon differently to how I speak to a farmhand. And I'm not trying to insult either of them. It's just the way it goes.

 

[Moetan21]

Well said Mr.

 

[user 139760]

Didn't have any knowledge of this happening, but let me tell you one thing; you are a valued and appreciated future hermit member of this board. That's pretty much all that matters ;-)

We all have our moments. Good or bad. Always looking forward to what you write, because I know I'll learn something I didn't. Awesome.