Loneliness and death.

[Frank Peterson]

I'm a bit sad at the moment. I've realised that if I die, nobody would be the wiser. There is no difference between me being alive or dead to anyone in this world. No one would miss me. I should probably not define my worth by the perception of others, but how can you exist if you are not seen by people or god. And even if I achieve every possible achievement, it is personally meaningless because we die.

I curse God for robbing me of my freedom to not exist. If I had a choice I would rather never have existed than fighting this irrelevance constantly. Even the time I took to write this could have been better used by someone with significance. Even these words are meaningless and empty, just like me. Some of you may see this as a cry for help, but I'm beyond that. This is more like a goodbye, from someone who's nothing to you, or anyone else anyway. A ghost waving, an apparition fading, drifting towards its rest, my words just whispers on the wind. I never believed in ghosts until now

 

[okidoke]

If you believe in God, how can you say you're not seen by him? If what you're writing is meaningless and empty, why are you writing it? Maybe you've asked yourself this already, but what are you doing to be noticed by other people, to be something in their lives for them to miss? I hate it when I have bouts of self pity, and I often do, but it irks me even more when I hear others doing it. Make a difference. Become meaningful to others. Often we choose not to do those things because it doesn't suit us, but we make ourselves our own worst enemy.