Am I getting high?

[CenotaphGirl]

High vibrational that is, hmm some advice peoples?

Lately I have been extremely adverse to low vibrational and negative energy which is strange as i'm often so negative.
This is how I am though, I flick like a switch from feeling one way to the next and it's a dramatic switch.
For some reason I just cant take the negativity any more, it just makes me feel awful and it dawned on me that this is what I have been doing to others
I have been giving them negativity constantly, and draining them with no care or thought.
The whole time I got it in my head that they were doing wrong by me, not caring to listen to my pain, not caring to make me feel better.
Now I can barely listen to it from people I care about, I just can't do it, maybe I don't have it? Have the space for it?
I just dont know anymore, I dont know if maybe I am evolving, changing into someone who see's the cup half full? Or is this just my medication?

This site is not easy for me to use lately and I understand we are a complex set of people all going through things that are far from positive,
But it's very difficult for me as im hyper sensitive to negativity and it's all I am reading everywhere,
Most know I love this site, I try my best to keep it alive although that can make me a total target, in terms of passive aggressive messages and so on and so on.
Usually I add it to the list of negative things that I go through and think nothing of it, but I just dont know where this strong aversion to negativity just randomly evolved from.
I feel like I dont care about my friends anymore as I cannot sit with them in the pool of negativity without feeling like I have a million leaches on me.
But I dont want people I care about to think I dont feel for them or wanna support them, however what am I supposed to do.

Someone tell me whats going on? Please? Even in PM's idc just shed some light on this, have you ever been through this?

 

[okidoke]

I hope I'm understanding you correctly Ceno. You don't like experiencing all the negativity of others? If that's what you mean, then that's very natural, in my honest opinion. A soul isn't comfortable in a negative environment. It doesn't want to be pulled down into the mire. But that doesn't mean you don't care for others. There's a difference in someone just being negative, which isn't good for anyone, compared to someone outlining their situation, to which you can empathise and help and advice them about.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

I hope I'm understanding you correctly Ceno. You don't like experiencing all the negativity of others? If that's what you mean, then that's very natural, in my honest opinion. A soul isn't comfortable in a negative environment. It doesn't want to be pulled down into the mire. But that doesn't mean you don't care for others. There's a difference in someone just being negative, which isn't good for anyone, compared to someone outlining their situation, to which you can empathise and help and advice them about.

Maybe this is it I just dont know, I used to be able to spend hours talking about negative things, how low and awful I feel, how low and awful my friends feel, darkness, negativeness but lately I just cant, it makes me feel even worse, it used to be a place of comfort and now it gives me high stress, like I am almost feeling panicked when people talk to me about negative things now. I feel like I wanna shut them out, and like I dont care about them, but I do it's just the negativity gets me on edge, it's so strange.

 

[okidoke]

Maybe you've had an epiphany and realised such negative conversations aren't good for the soul.

 

[TheRealCallie]

I think we all have a limit to how much we can take.

Maybe you're finally ready to come out of your hole and start thinking more positively. Maybe you keep giving the same advice over and over again and the people aren't taking it and you're getting annoyed by it. Maybe you're so deep in your own negativity that you simply can't take anymore. Maybe it's the meds.

There could be a thousand reasons why, but you may just need a little break from it all.

 

[Richard_39]

High vibrational that is, hmm some advice peoples?

Lately I have been extremely adverse to low vibrational and negative energy which is strange as i'm often so negative.
This is how I am though, I flick like a switch from feeling one way to the next and it's a dramatic switch.
For some reason I just cant take the negativity any more, it just makes me feel awful and it dawned on me that this is what I have been doing to others
I have been giving them negativity constantly, and draining them with no care or thought.
The whole time I got it in my head that they were doing wrong by me, not caring to listen to my pain, not caring to make me feel better.
Now I can barely listen to it from people I care about, I just can't do it, maybe I don't have it? Have the space for it?
I just dont know anymore, I dont know if maybe I am evolving, changing into someone who see's the cup half full? Or is this just my medication?

This site is not easy for me to use lately and I understand we are a complex set of people all going through things that are far from positive,
But it's very difficult for me as im hyper sensitive to negativity and it's all I am reading everywhere,
Most know I love this site, I try my best to keep it alive although that can make me a total target, in terms of passive aggressive messages and so on and so on.
Usually I add it to the list of negative things that I go through and think nothing of it, but I just dont know where this strong aversion to negativity just randomly evolved from.
I feel like I dont care about my friends anymore as I cannot sit with them in the pool of negativity without feeling like I have a million leaches on me.
But I dont want people I care about to think I dont feel for them or wanna support them, however what am I supposed to do.

Someone tell me whats going on? Please? Even in PM's idc just shed some light on this, have you ever been through this?

It's like anything else, kid. Too much of something is bad enough, as great philosophers once said, no?
I take breaks from this site when it gets into my head too much. I talk to other people until my mood and reflections fall back in line more with whom I really am.
It's like I was explaining to someone at work once, on why I rarely, if ever, partake in activities outside of work. We all see each other 40 hours a week. We're basically married or see each other more than our own families. Outside, it's time for my private life and, 99% of the time, doesn't include people that I work with. It's healthy to have some "me" time now and again. Which, I believe, I mentioned to you before

Take a rest kiddo.

 

[randomguy]

You're evolving as a person Princess, I've noticed it over the last few months, especially when it comes to what you don't want in your life.

 

[TropicalStarfish]

I'm not sure I know enough about the phenomena you speak of, to speak authoritatively on the subject; but, I have heard of some one speak of what you describe.

I'll give it a go, however.

If you turn off all the lights, and put yourself into complete darkness, and keep yourself there for... at least 5 minutes, maybe a half hour... What happens when you turn the lights on? *owwiee! bright!!!* Likewise, if we are inside, with bright lights, and go outside on a moonless night, it's very, very dark, until, our eyes adjust.

Misery enjoys company, it often tries to drag you down with it. Likewise, Gaiety is often extremely exclusionary, and has a bouncer at the entrance, "don't bring me down, groos."

The best I can think of in such a situation, as you describe, is to take note of it, and perhaps try to discern a possible cause. Also, try to discern a possible remedy. Patience is something many of us struggle with. Our life, I think, quite likely, will always be a work in progress. We can and probably should have goals here and there; but, it's highly unlikely there is that perfect version of ourselves, somewhere in the future, much less that it is attainable at all. Our life, though, is a life-long project. And the setbacks and the triumphs will always be there in varying measures.

Low vibrations are essential. High and low vibrations, to use that language, are still vibrations. What kind of good hip hop has no bass? What kind of flute music has no high vibration sound?

We all have a light and a dark side. I think this is evidently True. I think there is a distinction to be made between trying to be all light, all, 'high vibration,' and seeking, 'harmony/balance.' We can't be perfect, all light, all good; and we shouldn't try to be. Too much sun and we get a sun burn. And that doesn't mean we should give up on all noble pursuits either. Not enough sun and we don't get vitamin D.

That doesn't mean there aren't some people better suited to the day, and others to the night; but, it does mean, that each of those folks needs both the light and the darkness, in whatever ways are most harmonious, most beneficial.

We need harmony and balance, with the inner and the outer world, with our good side and our not so good side.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

Maybe you've had an epiphany and realised such negative conversations aren't good for the soul.

You know I am honestly starting to think I have indeed! It's like I have found out what's in chicken nuggets and I dont want to share them with my besties anymore.

It's like anything else, kid. Too much of something is bad enough, as great philosophers once said, no?
I take breaks from this site when it gets into my head too much. I talk to other people until my mood and reflections fall back in line more with whom I really am.
It's like I was explaining to someone at work once, on why I rarely, if ever, partake in activities outside of work. We all see each other 40 hours a week. We're basically married or see each other more than our own families. Outside, it's time for my private life and, 99% of the time, doesn't include people that I work with. It's healthy to have some "me" time now and again. Which, I believe, I mentioned to you before

Take a rest kiddo.

I think this is accurate, like maybe I dont know how to have healthy distance and space from people. When I try it's always taken the wrong way. But I am intense kinda like an all or nothing kinda person.

I think we all have a limit to how much we can take.

Maybe you're finally ready to come out of your hole and start thinking more positively. Maybe you keep giving the same advice over and over again and the people aren't taking it and you're getting annoyed by it. Maybe you're so deep in your own negativity that you simply can't take anymore. Maybe it's the meds.

There could be a thousand reasons why, but you may just need a little break from it all.

You're evolving as a person Princess, I've noticed it over the last few months, especially when it comes to what you don't want in your life.

Hmm Callie and RandomGuy I feel like I am this new person and I don't know how to relate to everyone I used to anymore.

 

[TheRealCallie]

Hmm Callie and RandomGuy I feel like I am this new person and I don't know how to relate to everyone I used to anymore.

If that's the reason, it might be because you are afraid of getting sucked back in and just want to stay away from it. I don't know how likely it will be, but maybe try to steer the conversations to more positive things and try to keep away from the negativity for a bit. If that's not possible, maybe it's time for a break until you are more confident and stable in the new you.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

I'm not sure I know enough about the phenomena you speak of, to speak authoritatively on the subject; but, I have heard of some one speak of what you describe.

I'll give it a go, however.

If you turn off all the lights, and put yourself into complete darkness, and keep yourself there for... at least 5 minutes, maybe a half hour... What happens when you turn the lights on? *owwiee! bright!!!* Likewise, if we are inside, with bright lights, and go outside on a moonless night, it's very, very dark, until, our eyes adjust.

Misery enjoys company, it often tries to drag you down with it. Likewise, Gaiety is often extremely exclusionary, and has a bouncer at the entrance, "don't bring me down, groos."

The best I can think of in such a situation, as you describe, is to take note of it, and perhaps try to discern a possible cause. Also, try to discern a possible remedy. Patience is something many of us struggle with. Our life, I think, quite likely, will always be a work in progress. We can and probably should have goals here and there; but, it's highly unlikely there is that perfect version of ourselves, somewhere in the future, much less that it is attainable at all. Our life, though, is a life-long project. And the setbacks and the triumphs will always be there in varying measures.

Low vibrations are essential. High and low vibrations, to use that language, are still vibrations. What kind of good hip hop has no bass? What kind of flute music has no high vibration sound?

We all have a light and a dark side. I think this is evidently True. I think there is a distinction to be made between trying to be all light, all, 'high vibration,' and seeking, 'harmony/balance.' We can't be perfect, all light, all good; and we shouldn't try to be. Too much sun and we get a sun burn. And that doesn't mean we should give up on all noble pursuits either. Not enough sun and we don't get vitamin D.

That doesn't mean there aren't some people better suited to the day, and others to the night; but, it does mean, that each of those folks needs both the light and the darkness, in whatever ways are most harmonious, most beneficial.

We need harmony and balance, with the inner and the outer world, with our good side and our not so good side.

This is so interesting TS, I feel like you have hit the nail on the head, the issue is I have recently come out of hospital and I am afraid to go back so maybe I try to overcorrect. I just want to be all positive I think I am scared of going back to square one. I have never experienced such an aversion to negativity before.


Do you think if I told my friends they'd understand? Or they would think I don't care about them ?

 

[TropicalStarfish]

This is so interesting TS, I feel like you have hit the nail on the head, the issue is I have recently come out of hospital and I am afraid to go back so maybe I try to overcorrect. I just want to be all positive I think I am scared of going back to square one. I have never experienced such an aversion to negativity before.


Do you think if I told my friends they'd understand? Or they would think I don't care about them ?

That may be a bit beyond my means, to have an answer for you...

Give it some thought.

If some one was advising me, on an A or B situation, and told me, perhaps it's not multiple choice, maybe it's answer with a short essay, I'd be chewing on that answer for a bit. heh.

Give it some rest, maybe, too.

 

[NoxApex(N/A)]

It could be the medication helping. That is its purpose, is to help people see a new perspective. It could also just be that you're overwhelmed with your own stresses in life. When you're a highly empathic person, it's challenging to be around or to talk to people who are of one emotional extremity or another. I'm like that, which is why I started practicing detachment. Because it's exhausting to be effected by other people emotionally. Almost everything about me is in one way or another shaded with negativity, I even have a morbid and kind of quirky sense of humor. But yeah, if you let it effect you too much than it will ruin your day. A large part of the reason why I wake up so early to try to keep my morning breakfast and exercise routines is because in the early hours that's how I'm decompressing. I decompress twice a day. Once at the beginning of the day before the day starts, and once at the end of the day before I go to sleep. I have to do that, as a practice for better mental health. It doesn't always help, like I can't shake larger problems that way like a breakup for example, but standard everyday mundane stresses and social stresses, yeah, that I can shake off and usually within a couple days at max this way. The only problem that I've got with it, really, is that it makes it difficult for me to want to have a deeper connection to people. I think it's because I'm introverted and creative, and so the solidarity can sometimes become addictive In life, you have to have a healthy balance of both solidarity and socialization. The amount of each kind of differs from person to person and everyone typically struggles with the extremities of either one or the other, so, I mean, at least it's a normal problem.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

It could be the medication helping. That is its purpose, is to help people see a new perspective. It could also just be that you're overwhelmed with your own stresses in life. When you're a highly empathic person, it's challenging to be around or to talk to people who are of one emotional extremity or another. I'm like that, which is why I started practicing detachment. Because it's exhausting to be effected by other people emotionally. Almost everything about me is in one way or another shaded with negativity, I even have a morbid and kind of quirky sense of humor. But yeah, if you let it effect you too much than it will ruin your day. A large part of the reason why I wake up so early to try to keep my morning breakfast and exercise routines is because in the early hours that's how I'm decompressing. I decompress twice a day. Once at the beginning of the day before the day starts, and once at the end of the day before I go to sleep. I have to do that, as a practice for better mental health. It doesn't always help, like I can't shake larger problems that way like a breakup for example, but standard everyday mundane stresses and social stresses, yeah, that I can shake off and usually within a couple days at max this way. The only problem that I've got with it, really, is that it makes it difficult for me to want to have a deeper connection to people. I think it's because I'm introverted and creative, and so the solidarity can sometimes become addictive In life, you have to have a healthy balance of both solidarity and socialization. The amount of each kind of differs from person to person and everyone typically struggles with the extremities of either one or the other, so, I mean, at least it's a normal problem.

Its crazy because i used to think wow we are helping each other just pouring into each other understanding the lows in each others life now im like ahhh stop I dont wanna hear this stuff!! at first I thought I am just weak as im fresh out of hospital but now as time has gone on its hard to hear talk about suicide all the time so casually and assaults and very triggering things it makes me scared scared and anxious and I feel negative for not wanting to partake, for not being able to take it

 

[NoxApex(N/A)]

Its crazy because i used to think wow we are helping each other just pouring into each other understanding the lows in each others life now im like ahhh stop I dont wanna hear this stuff!! at first I thought I am just weak as im fresh out of hospital but now as time has gone on its hard to hear talk about suicide all the time so casually and assaults and very triggering things it makes me scared scared and anxious and I feel negative for not wanting to partake, for not being able to take it

Nono, that's perfectly understandable. It's totally normal to be overwhelmed by that. IDK how else to put it but, it's kind of like when you've cried so much that you can't actually cry anymore because your body literally won't let you. It's understandable. That just means that you need to take a step back and recollect yourself, focus on yourself and making yourself feel better for a while. It happens to everyone. Everyone hits their threshold eventually, that's totally normal. Rocky was right: Life will break anyone and everyone. But life isn't about how hard you can hit, it's about how hard you can get hit and keep going. It's a developmental skill, it takes time and practice to get used to. Enlightened Self Interest, it's sometimes called. You cannot help someone else until you first help yourself so that you are better and more properly equipped to help others. It doesn't mean that you're selfish, it means that it's just the logical and more strategical course to navigate as a learning process and it's totally normal.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

Was the meds, stopped my meds and now... the world is a pile of whizz again thought I was going bananas