Can men be faithfull in a long relationship?

[bleed_the_freak]

He's telling you his truth. Believe him.

-Teresa

What truth? Can you please elaborate?

EDIT: Okay, deep breath, you said "HIS" truth, fair enough.

 

[Minus]

I am sorry if some understood I was being disrespectful to men in general.

I didn't take it that way. It just sounded like a question because some guy was telling you how he was, while projecting that onto the whole male population.

 

[lonelyfairy]

They can and can't. Depends fully on the person. Doesn't matter what gender the person is.

 

[MentatsGhoul]

I can't really talk about cheating in the form of drunken "hook ups". Personally, I'm one of those people who has a hard time thinking of anyone else in that light if I have feelings for a specific person, especially if I am already involved in a relationship with them. Granted, the longest I've been in a relationship is only 9 months, but even so, I don't think as a man, I can't personally relate to the idea of losing interest sexually in someone you have genuine feelings for. So maybe it is true for some men, but not all

But the real question you should ask is whether it is possible to keep the passion or "love" in a relationship in long-term relationships. Because that's the real issue here. Some people will react to losing this passion by seeking it elsewhere, some people will just passively pretend everything is okay, some will try to fix it, and some will just leave. But ultimately, that's the root of the issue in my opinion. Not whether men (or even people in general) are a bunch of horny bastards. And even if you can't, cheating is the worst possible way to react to this, so don't assume all men will react the same way. Some will actually try to talk it out with you, or just break things off, rather than run away into someone else's arms.

I think that's what cheating is really, regardless of gender. When a person is too scared to break off a relationship before having a steady back up option to fulfill their sexual or emotional needs. And that's just selfishness in my opinion.

 

[mauthecat]

Do you think it could be related to where i live? I live in latin america and men here seem to think the more women you sleep with the more macho you are, who cares if you are married. they also seem to like having as many kids possible with different woman even better if they can get 3 women pregnant at the same time...he is a real player then.

 

[handheart]

Well you dont trust in anyone these days but you dont must to dramatize with this ,people cheat in a big procent but not all trust me.If everyone was doing it then you will not see any families happy with a good family life etc .I say to you that on what you focus you receive ,if all the time you are afraid that you will meet a man that will cheat you then you will find one .Instead focus powerfuly that you will have a good man in your life that will love you ,respect you etc

 

[blackdot]

Women cheat just as much as men cheat. Some people are faithful. They are usually the ones that are stuck being single.
A lot of women on dating sites now include that they don't want something long term. They would rather not be locked down.

 

[Alone By Faults]

A real world follow up that happened to me this weekend...

Five year relationship that went south...we are both in 40's

year and a half later....I am content being alone and she is engaged.....she texts me when she needs an ego jump I guess...

anyways..light banter back and forth.....

she outright says that maybe in the future we can get lunch....I do not know if she is serious or trolling for me to say yes to get that ego boost....I dont bite and just ignore it....

so during the course of further communications she says that she is in a good place because she has a guy who adores her and that she is grateful.....

thats the key...when one person hint or suspects that it is not an equal playing field in the amount of affection being shared...it is on the course of being doomed


I told her imagine how hurt he would be if he ever discovered that she is asking out a major ex to lunch but to tell the truth it does not even ping on her radar

 

[Somnambulist]

I don't mean to start another war here, but the title just made me crack up.

Anti-male sexism, much ?

However, I have always found interesting and useful, the comparison of human behavior to that of wild animals.

Male tigers will instinctively (and concurrently) mate with several females in neighboring territories, in order to spread their genes as much as possible. It seems logical for any animal species, from an evolution standpoint. They also take no part, other than physical protection of the territory, in the cubs' upbringing.

Female tigers, however, will only come into heat/season again once their conceived cubs have reached maturity (~2 years), unless a male stronger than her current mate invades her territory and kills her cubs. So, they are serial monogamists.

In other words, male tigers are more promiscuous than females

Does human behavior mirror this ? Do we men do the same, driven by the same instinct ? If so, how wrong is that ? I don't know.

I, personally, have never cheated on my women, and probably never will.

 

[EveWasFramed]

Excluding the relationship I'm in now and one other, I've never been with a man who hasn't cheated.
I can't say if that's a reflection on them, or me. I've read that often, some women are inadvertently attracted to men who are unfaithful. I don't think all men (or women) cheat, but I do wonder if people with certain personalities will always be cheaters. I think some people are addicted to the rush of someone new. They may care about their mate, but the high they get from what they do, is too much to resist. Lol, of course some people are just faithless jerks.

 

[Sci-Fi]

It's the person not their sex who is unfaithful.

 

[Xpendable]

never realized how sexists this thread was.

 

[TheRealCallie]

If you actually read the thread, it's not sexist at all....

 

[Xpendable]

I mean the tilte. Replace men with women and think if it is appropiate.

 

[VanillaCreme]

I mean the tilte. Replace men with women and think if it is appropiate.

Neither makes much sense to generalize. Like Sci said, it's the person, not their sex, that's faithful or unfaithful.

 

[EveWasFramed]

I mean the tilte. Replace men with women and think if it is appropiate.

Because the OP is asking a specific question, based on a conversation, I don't feel she (or the thead) is really sexist. I don't see anyone bashing on the male sex. I can see why the title could be misleading until you read the post, but the thread itself doesn't seem sexist to me. Just my opinion though.

 

[Bones 2.0]

I have been & always will be a faithful person in a relationship because I know how it feels to be cheated on.

 

[MisterLonely]

You've already had a great deal of good advice/opinions on the subject, I'm thinking myself that Sopiasmami was the first to be spot on, if you were tocontinue in a relationship with this particular male you will probably at some point be cheated on, however he is not the king of all males (assuming it wasn't Jason Statham ofcourse ), an does not speak for all of us.

However I do find his behavior to be "more mature", it would be easy for him to lie to you and you'll never know it, this one individual is looking for a relationship in wich he is allowed his infidelities, that's my guess.

 

[zero]

Can? Sure. Will? Probably not. (imho >90%). Depends on both ends of the stick + ego&needs involved.

 

[Somnambulist]

Can? Sure. Will? Probably not. (imho >90%).  Depends on both ends of the stick + ego&needs involved.

Alas, the < 10% of faithful men fall victim to women who can't trust. It's understandable, but also just sad