can someone teach me how to get a date? not end up in friendzone?

[SighX99]

so i was just playing bunch of games, smoking bunch of honeysuckle, listening to bunch of music. i felt bored and empty for some reason. everything is the same everyday. so lifeless.. then i realized that nothing is more exciting and refreshing than going out and conversing with a girl. which is something i havent done in 3 years... i have trouble sparking up conversation with girls all the time. ive tried to ask someone out, but often times i end up in the friendzone...i get kinda anxiety attack when speaking face to face as well. im just asking if anyone can give me any tips on asking a girl out, how to NOT be in the friend zone or should i just not care at all? it seems that everyone around me has a boyfriend/girlfriend, in classes people always talk about their better half, or when im just going out to get some food, i see people hugging and kssing each other. i get so down..id like to stop feeling those feelings.... how do i start a relationship? any tips, please.


ps. im just soo sick of being single...the more i try to ignore it the worse it gets...

 

[Lonesome Crow]

You can google....lol

mmmm...okay here's my secret dude.
You see my avi ...see that piece of wood with 6 strings attached to it...some women go gaagaa over musicians...lmao
Guitar player gose through more G stings

Seriousely though....Eye contacts.
For some reason if you look at a person in thier eyes...it's like you're seeing eye to eye.lol
So in a way it's best you not do it when you're stoned with blood shot eyes...lol
No stupid pickup lines unless you sort of know her...if she's giving you hints, it's eaier.
No taking a bath in calone to hide the pot or alcohol smell...
You know... the usual good body maintenance and stuff like that.

You just have to keep on trying. The more you do it , the better you'll get at it.
Just like anything else...practice, practice, practice.
Don't get so down on yourself if you makes mistakes...
try to move on as best you can even if you get turned down or rejected.
You know...nobody has a perfect batting average or hit home runs all the time.

It's bascailly just facing your fears....FEAR is just a feeling.
Have Courage....courage is not without fears. Thats why it's courage.
I've never actually had to said..."will you be my GF??"...lmao
When you hit a home run...you'll know...lol
it's in stages when courting a women...you have to chase them a little bit.
Then after a while or you sort of know her or there's flirting going on.
Just ask her to go do something. Asking her to go have lunch is eaier..becuase it's a sort of a
half date or not really a date..You;re just having lunch and getting to know each other.
So yeah...you have to sort of do home work for places you can take her on a sort of date
or different activities to do. Miniture golf ..stuff like that....you know.
P.S. she always win of course...lmao
I usually have a single rose for her...if i go out on a first date.
It dosn't have to be red. You know..girls likes flowers...yeah some guys say it's corney..but the girls
really appriciate it if you give them flowers.
It's not really the rose...it's that you went out of your way to go do something for her.

Or just dive right in...lol
Go to dancing clubs and ask girls to dance...You 'll get plenty of practice of approching women.

mmm..the friendzone...is kind of tricky..it depends on the girl.
She might actaully really wants ya...but waiting for you to get your shiet together.
You know how is it...we have to be able to take care of them and be provider incase children gets into the
equation.


I also got a book...seriouely...1001 ways to be romatic
This is how to keep them...lmao

 

[SighX99]

YO lonesome crow, i'm very good at bass and guitar. i played bass for 5 years , started playing guitar one year ago, i now own a 7 string schector hellraiser. still no luck lol. im good, but probably not as good as you.

 

[Bluey]

I got no good advice for you. The two girls I went out with I was friends with first. For me all you can do is be friends with as many girls as you can and hopefully one of the friendships well blossom into something moor.

 

[Porman]

learn how to communicate comfortably with wemon first before asking them out. If you talk to girls with the aim of asking them out the pressure will be on you and youl freeze up.

In my mind, going out is a way to get to know someone, it doesn't make you boyfriend girlfriend. Just ask them if they want to come to events or places or whatever its up to you.

Also, To keep clear of the "friends" stage, Use non verbal communication to let her know your intentions and feelings, be a flirt. Physical contact is the best way to flirt with someone, just dont go over board lol.

 

[samba101]

Having girls as friends is great it can actually lead to more, it simply happens.

 

[Unacceptance]

What were you listening to?

Sorry it's a little off topic.

 

[SighX99]

eeeeh, Meshuggah, Cynic, Fredik Thordendal's Special Defect (excellent album), iron miden, alice in chains, yngwie malmsteen, and some chet atkins. i was recording music via my digitech jam man as well...maybe its the music that makes me feel that way lawl. BRUTAL MUZIK

a taste of Fredik Thordendal's Special Defect




good weird timing

 

[Antihero]

Having girls as friends is great it can actually lead to more, it simply happens.

Anything could happen, but it is not likely, especially after a bit of time.

Perhaps these are not the right forums to ask this question.

 

[Naleena]

I usually have a single rose for her...if i go out on a first date.
It dosn't have to be red. You know..girls likes flowers...yeah some guys say it's corney..but the girls
really appriciate it if you give them flowers.
It's not really the rose...it's that you went out of your way to go do something for her.

WHOO HOO! **claps** Exactly, Lonesome Crowe. It isn't the flower but the fact that you went out of your way to get it.

I went on a date once and the guy brought me some chocolate from a candy maker. It was four pieces in a nice box and (I break mine off into pieces and dont eat the whole piece)
everytime I reached for a piece or saw sitting near my bed, I thought about him and how nice he was for bringing that to me! It took me a week to eat it and for that week, I thought of him each time I reached for the box. To this day I remember him for that....lol Chocolate, food of the gods! Mmmmmmm.

Just putting that out there guys There it is...out there....catch it! opps, there it goes. Gone

 

[somedude]

If you don't mind me just throwing out a few random observations from my life and from watching friends ....

As ridiculous as it is, I get more attention the less interested in girls I am. When I focus on myself and what I want to do and don't really notice girls, that is when they start talking to me and trying to get my attention. It doesn't work instantly, and being anti-social will get you nowhere but I guess the point I am making is .... don't appear desperate, when you don't try to impress people you are free to be yourself and people pick up on that and often think it appears confident.

Avoid the friendzone by not being a doormat. If you are too nice and accommodating a girl generally won't be interested in you because well ... you come off as weak, sweet maybe, a good friend but not a challenge. Don't be too nice, don't always be available, don't do favors for a girl if it puts you in a bad position or if it makes you look weak. If a girl thinks you'll do anything for her even if you aren't going out with her, then why would she go out with you after that? She's got nothing more to gain from you.

Trying to get a network of friends together is essential to getting dates, or at least it has been for me. Two main advantages are that your friends often have female friends, and most of the girls I've gone out with a friends of friends so it helps a lot in meeting girls to have a good social circle. Second reason is that often if you want to ask someone out and you are nervous, shy or just don't know someone well is that you can do the group outing. Instead of saying "Will you come out to dinner with me?" and throwing it all out there and risking rejection, saying something like "Me and some friends are going out to X next weekend, would you like to come?" is easier. It's more relaxed, less formal, sounds less like a date and if she doesn't want to go you don't have to think of it as personal rejection but rather she isn't into whatever you guys are doing, and if you get turned down by her you and your friends still go out and have some fun.The advantage of this is that while it's not a date, it gives you a chance to get to know someone with less pressure on you to be entertaining because there's a group of you going. It also makes it easier when you do ask someone out for a date or some one on one time because by this point you've already been inviting them out a couple of times and them saying yes to hanging out with you doesn't seem unusual.

Don't try too hard. If you do want to ask someone out, don't choose the most expensive restaurant or start giving them gifts right off the bat. It looks obvious and desperate. Be interested, but not too interested. It's all about the vibe you give off, and often when you've been alone for a long time you naturally give off the wrong vibe because you are lonely and do feel as though you want someone to come along and save you from that feeling and the bad aspects of your life. Unfortunately, that sort of attitude turns people off.

Accept that not every girl will be on the same page as you and some you just won't get along with. Be polite to them and you can keep them around as friends but don't try to chase a girl who isn't worth it.

Be fun, be positive, try to enjoy life.

Talking to girls is a skill, like anything else you can get better at it. If you have anxiety problems you need to learn to control them. Most girls like to talk about themselves, so let them, ask questions, be interested and give your own take on things when you need to. It also doesn't hurt to tease girls a little, but a little bit annoying but in a funny way. Doesn't always work but when it does it makes banter so much easier.

Not sure if any of this will be any good to you, but I hope maybe you can learn a little something from it. I learned a lot of this the hard way and went from being very unpopular with girls to the point where now I get a lot of attention and even get girls asking me out. It's not easy, and it WILL take time though my friend so you have to remember to think long term and look at the big picture.

 

[Unacceptance]

eeeeh, Meshuggah, Cynic, Fredik Thordendal's Special Defect (excellent album), iron miden, alice in chains, yngwie malmsteen, and some chet atkins. i was recording music via my digitech jam man as well...maybe its the music that makes me feel that way lawl. BRUTAL MUZIK

a taste of Fredik Thordendal's Special Defect




good weird timing

Sick man, Cynic, Focus is one of my all time favorite albums.

Alright, next time you talk to some girl, just mentally play your favorite song and use it to inspire you. It sounds lame I know, but the inspiration "Death or Glory" gave me was about as close to confidence as I could muster, and hell it worked back then.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Most girls like to talk about themselves, so let them, ask questions, be interested and give your own take on things when you need to. It also doesn't hurt to tease girls a little, but a little bit annoying but in a funny way. Doesn't always work but when it does it makes banter so much easier.

You mean... like take No Doz before you go on the first date ?

What do you mean tease her ?
Like ask her for her ex-bf phone #, since you know everything
about him after she spent all night telling you everything about him?
You might as will be on a date with him instead.......?

 

[somedude]

Haha Lonesome Crow. Some girls are that boring. They are the ones you avoid. If you like them but they keep talking crap, steer the conversation in a more interesting direction and try to find something in common you can both talk about without being bored.

And it's a well known fact that you should avoid talking about exes on dates. The only time I ever did that was to intentionally put a girl off me who was very nice, but who wasn't right for me. If a girl keeps bringing hers up, YES TEASE HER ABOUT IT! But do so before she goes on and on about him, not after. You are trying to have fun, not be someone's therapist and listening to someone talk about the bad things their ex did is both boring for you and will get you nowhere.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Haha Lonesome Crow. Some girls are that boring. They are the ones you avoid. If you like them but they keep talking crap, steer the conversation in a more interesting direction and try to find something in common you can both talk about without being bored.

And it's a well known fact that you should avoid talking about exes on dates. The only time I ever did that was to intentionally put a girl off me who was very nice, but who wasn't right for me. If a girl keeps bringing hers up, YES TEASE HER ABOUT IT! But do so before she goes on and on about him, not after. You are trying to have fun, not be someone's therapist and listening to someone talk about the bad things their ex did is both boring for you and will get you nowhere.

Yeah..it gets borning ...but you gotta stay interested...depends on the girl i suppose. It's like she wants you to hold her and cry on your
shoulders. Well...you know, (as in baseball)...she keeps throwing
balls and no strike...and you sort of end up on FIRST BASE...lmao

However....it is not reconmended that a guy talks about his EX on a date.
it gose both ways...I suppose , when you get put into the freind zone....lol

 

[ClosetGeek]

If you don't mind me just throwing out a few random observations from my life and from watching friends ....

As ridiculous as it is, I get more attention the less interested in girls I am. When I focus on myself and what I want to do and don't really notice girls, that is when they start talking to me and trying to get my attention. It doesn't work instantly, and being anti-social will get you nowhere but I guess the point I am making is .... don't appear desperate, when you don't try to impress people you are free to be yourself and people pick up on that and often think it appears confident.

Avoid the friendzone by not being a doormat. If you are too nice and accommodating a girl generally won't be interested in you because well ... you come off as weak, sweet maybe, a good friend but not a challenge. Don't be too nice, don't always be available, don't do favors for a girl if it puts you in a bad position or if it makes you look weak. If a girl thinks you'll do anything for her even if you aren't going out with her, then why would she go out with you after that? She's got nothing more to gain from you.

Ahhhhh.. nice PUA baloney.
Just be a jerk and the girls will like you.
Nevermind.

Here are the reasons why I put a guy in the friend zone.
-He acts like above. Come on now, women have more men approaching them than men, why should I bother with some guy who is acting so superficial? I would kick him to the curb.
-He wants to sex me too fast.
-He has a unidentified relationships with some other girl.
-He wants to make me jealous by playing silly games.
-He acts slimy.
-He acts unsensible.
-He acts like a slug.
-He makes stupid comments.

Women like men with self confidence who respect themselves and others. If you are trying to date really young girls.....your manipulation and games might work on them but not on women.
Women see right through games and games mean= men with issues.
Run away..........fast.

 

[somedude]

Hey ClosetGeek, I appreciate you having your say but I have to question you about it since a lot doesn't make sense from my perspective. I'm not trying to have an argument or show any disrespect, I'm just interested in hearing you clarify a few things.

For a start, who the hell wants slimy, unsensible, sex-crazed slugs as friends? Isn't the friend-zone for people you actually like but just aren't romantically interested in? Or do women let anyone into the friend zone these days?

Also, what is superficial about a man respecting himself and not falling into the games women play or letting himself be manipulated? It's true, women get hit on more than men but why should that mean men have to go along with things they aren't comfortable with in order to try to impress a woman and stand out from the crowd of other guys hitting on women and letting themselves be manipulated into doing the exact same kind of thing?

I don't think it's being a jerk to stand your ground on some things and let women know that you aren't going to be easy. You don't have to be mean or disrespectful to do it, I just don't think there is anything wrong with a single man putting his interests first when dating, after all, isn't that what women do?

 

[ClosetGeek]

[/quote]

Hey ClosetGeek, I appreciate you having your say but I have to question you about it since a lot doesn't make sense from my perspective. I'm not trying to have an argument or show any disrespect, I'm just interested in hearing you clarify a few things.

For a start, who the hell wants slimy, unsensible, sex-crazed slugs as friends? Isn't the friend-zone for people you actually like but just aren't romantically interested in? Or do women let anyone into the friend zone these days?

First of all, my attitude does not represent the majority of women. I am different. I tell any guy that I am not interested "let's be friends". There are many among them that I would not want to be friends anyways.
The main reason is:
Some men get aggressive if you don't date them.....meaning if you don't f them, so telling them you want to be friends gives women a puffer zone. They won't go bezirk on you. There are men who even go on shooting rampages like Brian Nichols if women tell them they want to break up, remember that guy?
Since they are either slimy, unsensible, sex-crazed etc, they will immediately look for another victim. They won't stick around and be "friends" with you so most take care of themselves and leave you alone.
For example, I told this one guy that I want to be friends with him two weeks ago and now he is trying to sex some other girl.

Also, what is superficial about a man respecting himself and not falling into the games women play or letting himself be manipulated? It's true, women get hit on more than men but why should that mean men have to go along with things they aren't comfortable with in order to try to impress a woman and stand out from the crowd of other guys hitting on women and letting themselves be manipulated into doing the exact same kind of thing?

Nothing against you but you have issues with being rejected. To get to know others you have to put yourself out there. But hey if playing artificial games is doing it for you, go on with your bad self. Good luck.

I don't think it's being a jerk to stand your ground on some things and let women know that you aren't going to be easy. You don't have to be mean or disrespectful to do it, I just don't think there is anything wrong with a single man putting his interests first when dating, after all, isn't that what women do?

I think your strategy works for women who chase men. I don't chase men or see them as a challenge if they play games. If they do that, I kick them to the curb. When you date someone, it should be natural, the relationship unfolds by itself and it's not about manipulating the other side. If someone is playing games during the dating phase, it's going to be catastrophic being in a long term relationship with them. And I don't have time for such baloney.