college blues

[fluffybunny]

did anyone here not enjoy college as much as they feel they should? I am a college senior and, although I am generally a pretty friendly outgoing guy, I have kind of gotten stuck living with the same kids and as a result don't have many close friends. im afraid that this negative experience will weigh me down once i graduate, both because i wont have as many happy memories to reflect back on and becase i wont have a strong network of friends to fall back on. PLEASE HELP, there must be a chance for a new start and a new chance at happiness in the real world...

 

[lovehurtme]

I'm in the same boat, except I did a ton of stuff. I was a resident mentor, and while I met a lot of people, I don't hang out with them. We leave facebook comments, and say hi in passing, that's all. I lived with different people, and they also are just associates. I have not made one real friend in college. I have not dated anyone from my college. My school is HUGE though. It is hard to make personal connections with anyone here. When I graduate, I'm moving, and I hope I make friends in grad school, at work, or something. I know exactly how you feel. Have you tried joining a club sport, a frat, or any other group? I volunteer (no friends there either), but it helps. At least I have associates. That's better than nothing, I guess. Get out and meet people though. That is the first step. Do not be afraid to strike up a conversation.

 

[fluffybunny]

Yeah, I'm on a team and I write for the school paper, but like you said those are more of associates than friends. Walking around campus or in class, I see plenty of people I know, but it all seems superficial you know? So much of it is based on living situation, and I ended up being isolated sophomore year in this on-campus apartment with kids I wasn't all that into. I got fed up with it and spent junior year abroad, an amazing experience but now it's senior year and everyone is segmented off into their houses. My housemates are alright but we don't really go out together or anything, and it's tough breaking through the cliquiness to make close connections with other people. I feel like it's not that I'm not social enough but just the general climate of the school

 

[lovehurtme]

Well, we seem to have the same problems. I see tons of people I know walking to class. When I go out, I bump into people I know, everyone says hi to me. If you ask people, "Hey, do you know Loverhurtme?" People will say, "Yeah, I know her." But there are no REAL connections, no true relationships, and no real bonds, just people you know, who know you. College is very clique-ish. Imagine being a girl. It sucks! I have a roomie, she's from Malaysia. She never says hi to me, never talks to me, and never acknowledges me. I think she hates me, but how can she, when we've never spoken? I hate living with her. In general, unless you attend a small school, how can you make friends? My classes have 200-400 people. How can you make any friends there? Most people have their friends from high school, and are not looking for new friends. That is college life. My only consolation is that it is ending soon. Keep your head up fluffybunny, maybe you will make friends in grad school.

 

[Minus]

did anyone here not enjoy college as much as they feel they should?

I did pretty much enjoy my first year but as time went on i found myself more and more isolated. It was fairly bad by the end.

... both because i wont have as many happy memories to reflect back on and becase i wont have a strong network of friends to fall back on.

I don't know when i last saw or heard from anyone that i went to school with. It was another life back then.

 

[fluffybunny]

Yeah I suppose that you're right, LHM...I just feel like I'm not getting the most out of my time here, and that I'm a socially capable enough person that I should have. Maybe college is hyped up to be something better than it is; but my friends from high school and most people here at my uni seem to be enjoying college way more than I am. I just don't want to feel regret, the whole woulda-shoulda-coulda of what other clubs could I have joined, maybe I should have transferred, etc. I gotta just be happy with who I am and move forward, but it's tough feeling like I am doing it alone.

 

[lovehurtme]

^^^^Fluffy, you can't change your college experience. All you can do it learn from it. College is hyped up to be more than it is. You will have plenty of other opportunities to make friends. There is always grad school, work, and summer internships. It's not like you leave college, get married and life is over. There are a lot of steps between adult life and the end of college. You still have time to enjoy your youth and make friends.

 

[SophiaGrace]

I agree. College isnt all that it is cracked up to be. Even though I've had my father tell me so many times "college years are the best times of your life!" Maybe for him they were; he spent them in a frat. I'm a commuter to a local college...

Idk I guess I just am frustrated with all the so called superficialities of human relations. I want to connect with people on a deeper level. LIke i do with people on the internet. THey are honest about their problems and dont try to hide it. I dont understand why people try to hide it in real life. Hey i'm human, youre human, we have faults, end of story and we shouldnt judge one another for them.

 

[SophiaGrace]

bump <_< *whistles innocently*

 

[Divinitywolf]

You've officially made me more terrified of starting university

 

[Bobby Z]

I have some pretty big issues in this department. Ive been at college or uni as we call it here for 3 semesters (about to start my 4th) and I have made maybe 2 friends, which were both in first semester when i was eager to make friends and when I was in classes which were required for almost every course. But now that ive gone in a different direction to most people I met i dont see them at all. All I do is go to class, sit down the back, listen and try not to participate a great deal. People must think I'm really weird because I never say anything.
But I really do feel like I'm missing out on what's supposed to be a very social time in my life and yet I am the complete opposite. All my friends talk of going to uni functions or parties and having a great time and yet I don't do anything or have any fun experiences to show for it. I do however go to a very very small university campus which is not know for its social aspect (I only picked it based on location). Plus its not what you would called the best 'performing' uni out there, which really makes me get down on life because i know i should not have been so lazy, gone to a better uni and possibly been happier and had better job prospects when I finish.

 

[PoWer2tHePeOpLE]

i went to uni and it sucked fat arse. when i tried to communicate with people 'off the bat' i literally had people stand up and walk away from me mid conversation.... fat bastards.

i sat alone a lot and would see these posters aimed at anti-social people struggling to make friends.. and used to think.. 'honeysuckle, is that me?'.. **** right it was me! then i made 'a' friend in my second year, i spent the rest of my degree smoking and drinking coffee.. hehe. i didnt give a rats that i only had one friend, thats all i needed.

i did have those thoughts though, that maybe i should be enjoying this experience more than i was.. it certainly seemed like others were doing a 'better job'. but then the ones that are less social you dont really know about or see or talk to.. so in reality you are not the only one having a crap experience.

there is way too much emphasis on how great a time you SHOULD be having when you are younger, at uni/ college.. whatever. all those people going to these functions you talk of and going to parties.. theyre really crying on the inside.. hehe.

see, i'm just jealous of happy and popular people, and yet apparently its against the law to kill them.

strange world.

 

[Sodium]

I dont like my university. You know how you hear all these stories of how amazing university life is and how its the best time of your life. Sometimes I think that maybe I expected too much but I dont really think that's the reason.
Everyone at my uni is just there to show off with their expensive, fancy stuff (branded stuff, phones, laptops, cars, etc) and if you're not 'cool' enough no one real bothers to get to know you so I'm not gonna make an effort when they dont really care. Almost half of them are there just for the heck of it. All their dads own companies so they dont really need to study or anything. Almost all the guys here are into stupid half naked girls who just flirt 24/7 and laugh at EVERYTHING they said. They judge you about every little detail. They're all clones of each other. Same hair, clothes, lifestyles, .... If it'll make them look cool they'll start smoking. They're all fake.
All of my friend from high school are like that too so I cant really hang out with them on campus cuz it feels awkward sitting there and I cant really fit it or even wanna fit in with them. The only close friends I have are in other unis or living abroad, so that sucks

 

[ensom]

I know how you guys feel. My first year of university I maybe made one acquaintance who I no longer speak to. I'm going primarily to get an education but it would be nice to have a few friends to talk to between classes.

I despise how fake everyone seems, along with the thick pretentiousness that one tends to find in academia. I had an easier time making friends in high school, but here everyone I encounter seems to be either ridiculously long-winded or only interested in talking about how wasted they got the night before. You know, real deep conversation.

Maybe I'm exaggerating a bit, but I just feel so isolated even though I'm surrounded by so many people. Despite feeling so alone, I still somehow manage to enjoy going there, mostly because I find the my courses interesting.

 

[cheaptrickfan]

You've officially made me more terrified of starting university

Well, not everyone had a terrible time. I had a large cohort of friends through my activities in the music program: concert choir and chamber singers. I had very few friends in my academic department though (Russian language/ Soviet & East European Studies). I got along fine with people in my classes, but I only connected with a few of them.

My music friends and their parties made it all worthwhile, although I never had a boyfriend in those four years and that was an issue for me. :/

 

[Spare]

I'm heading back to school after seven or eight years of putting it off, and to be honest, I'm not too worried about making friends. If I make friends, that's great! But that's not why I'm going. I'm going to learn. The next four years are going to be about bettering myself and my professional situation. My priorities, as they should be while attending college, are going to be: 1. Studies. 2. Studies. 3. Studies. 4. Social life.

Never forget the real reason you're there.

 

[Lebowski]

what school are you going to spare and what are you studying? if you dont mind me asking

 

[Spare]

what school are you going to spare and what are you studying? if you dont mind me asking

I'm going to Flathead Community College here in Montana, with plans to transfer to the University of Montana. I'm seeking a BA degree in English and an AAS degree in Grafic Design.

 

[PoWer2tHePeOpLE]

I wish you all the best in your studies bud

 

[Spare]

I wish you all the best in your studies bud

Thanks!