Like most people, i enjoy social interaction.. movies, games, just generally talking with others.. However, currently I do not usually have social encounters other than talking to co-workers, or mild talks to people at the Jr. college I attend.
Sadly, i haven't made many friends after leaving High School, but this hasn't stopped me from continuing my education or any of my responsibilities. Despite being socially incapable, I've manage to find myself in some social gatherings.
Now, a sort of a side track.. You know that feeling you have for some people? A feeling where you can tell someone has their life together or is obviously capable of having it so, even if they're the type to party/drink/disappoint their parents. I envy those people. I envy them in the sense that they're happy in almost every situation; at work, school, wherever.. They can be content every with, what seems like, nothing to worry about.
Nothing to worry about - not drama, but social problems. The kind that WE face. Major social anxiety, fear, being constantly alone after work/school/etc.. I would love drama. Drama means having some sort of family/friends most of the time which distracts from loneliness.
Anyway.. My problem is not being content in social events. I often feel angry when around people and a reason for this might be that I judge others critically because I'm not around people very much. If I'm invited to something, I contemplate if it's even worth going to because I doubt I'm going to have any fun. Most of the time, I grow some balls and decide, "Hey! I'm a man. I can go to social functions and be a person! Just like millions of people have done before and enjoyed. NO BIG DEAL."
When I arrive I instantly feel awkward and a few minutes in, regret it. I usually know very few people and end up feeling so clingy to whoever it is I know. And most of the time they seem very indifferent about me being there.
By feeling unnecessary, I begin to feel depressed and my ability to socialize just disappears. I feel angry that who ever invited me even invited me if I'm not at all necessary, while others are casually having a great time.
This is a common problem that I think prohibits me from being socially happy.
Thank you for reading
Sadly, i haven't made many friends after leaving High School, but this hasn't stopped me from continuing my education or any of my responsibilities. Despite being socially incapable, I've manage to find myself in some social gatherings.
Now, a sort of a side track.. You know that feeling you have for some people? A feeling where you can tell someone has their life together or is obviously capable of having it so, even if they're the type to party/drink/disappoint their parents. I envy those people. I envy them in the sense that they're happy in almost every situation; at work, school, wherever.. They can be content every with, what seems like, nothing to worry about.
Nothing to worry about - not drama, but social problems. The kind that WE face. Major social anxiety, fear, being constantly alone after work/school/etc.. I would love drama. Drama means having some sort of family/friends most of the time which distracts from loneliness.
Anyway.. My problem is not being content in social events. I often feel angry when around people and a reason for this might be that I judge others critically because I'm not around people very much. If I'm invited to something, I contemplate if it's even worth going to because I doubt I'm going to have any fun. Most of the time, I grow some balls and decide, "Hey! I'm a man. I can go to social functions and be a person! Just like millions of people have done before and enjoyed. NO BIG DEAL."
When I arrive I instantly feel awkward and a few minutes in, regret it. I usually know very few people and end up feeling so clingy to whoever it is I know. And most of the time they seem very indifferent about me being there.
By feeling unnecessary, I begin to feel depressed and my ability to socialize just disappears. I feel angry that who ever invited me even invited me if I'm not at all necessary, while others are casually having a great time.
This is a common problem that I think prohibits me from being socially happy.
Thank you for reading