first contact

[beingnobody]

Unwanted. How many times have we all heard the depressed person describe themselves thusly?

Guilty.

4 A.M. drowning myself in a crater of leftover Pizza Hut ziti, long since gone cold., AGAIN.

I guess "unwanted" is not really the accurate term for the current mood. I know people do care ABOUT me, from a safe distance. But, for sure, noone derives any pleasure sharing my company,. Family included. At least not for any extended period of time.

So loneliness is my badge of exile.

Wish me well.

Looking forward to future encounters.

 

[Azariah]

mmmm pizza sounds nice right about now. Loneliness is pain in the form of sadness. enjoy the pain!

 

[TheRealCallie]

Why does no one derive any pleasure from your company? Do you stink? Do you live in a pineapple under the sea? Do you have an annoying dog who humps the legs of all your guests?
I'm sure there is at least one person (probably more) out there who would enjoy your company. Maybe you are sending off a "leave me alone" vibe and people pick up on it.
Do YOU enjoy your company?

Pizza does sound good.

 

[Azariah]

before there was a somebody... there was a nobody

 

[beingnobody]

Why does no one derive any pleasure from your company? Do you stink? Do you live in a pineapple under the sea? Do you have an annoying dog who humps the legs of all your guests?
I'm sure there is at least one person (probably more) out there who would enjoy your company. Maybe you are sending off a "leave me alone" vibe and people pick up on it.
Do YOU enjoy your company?

Pizza does sound good.

I can be opinionated about certain things that some family members disagree with. Admittedly sometimes arrogant. I am comfortable with myself, but I don't know about "enjoying" my own company. Never really considered that. I don't have conversations with myself, at least not out loud.

I don't have much anything in common with any family member, and I have no friends. I have Aspergers so am not well skilled at socializing.

 

[TheRealCallie]

I can be opinionated about certain things that some family members disagree with. Admittedly sometimes arrogant. I am comfortable with myself, but I don't know about "enjoying" my own company. Never really considered that. I don't have conversations with myself, at least not out loud.

I don't have much anything in common with any family member, and I have no friends. I have Aspergers so am not well skilled at socializing.

Well, you can work on that arrogance, so it's not as much of an issue. My family often disagrees with me...well, they used to, not so much anymore.

You could always get friends, don't let the Aspergers get in the way. It may be difficult, but all you need sometimes is a different way of doing the same thing that comes more easily to others. Being "well skilled" at socializing is just like anything else, really. You only need practice and desire to make it happen. What are your interests? Perhaps you can find a club or something and that would give you something to talk about with other people.

 

[Kris35]

Hi BN,

I get it and it's so awful not feeling connected to anyone. I'm wondering if you have my problem which is I personally get nothing out of conversation myself because I'm so in my own head worrying about how I come across that I cannot relax and it's a nightmare. I always lose threads of what people are sahying because I'm worried about what I'm going to say next and if I'm looking ok. So I spend my time alone and that beleive me, as much as I like doing my own thing, is awful. We are not meant to be totally alone and it causes all sorts of mental health problems. Do you actually enjoy socialising or talking to just one person?

 

[beingnobody]

Hi BN,

I get it and it's so awful not feeling connected to anyone. I'm wondering if you have my problem which is I personally get nothing out of conversation myself because I'm so in my own head worrying about how I come across that I cannot relax and it's a nightmare. I always lose threads of what people are sahying because I'm worried about what I'm going to say next and if I'm looking ok. So I spend my time alone and that beleive me, as much as I like doing my own thing, is awful. We are not meant to be totally alone and it causes all sorts of mental health problems. Do you actually enjoy socialising or talking to just one person?

Not really, because the way my brain works, with anxieties, DID and Aspergers I am very self conscious of how I articulate my thoughts. I tend to overdeliberate my words so I take so many pauses people think I am stupid and get frustrated with me.

 

[Kris35]

Yep that sounds like me although I don't think I have any of the above. It's a bloody awful life. I'm half heartedly setting up a Facebook Group today but even though I'm lonely, I still find it too difficult to be around people - so, similar to you I think. Loneliness via isolation or socializing and confirming I'm a total twat that can't string a sentence together.