Having a Rant

[AimeeLou84]

Im writing this to mainly have a rant. I don't really have friends I can vent to so I figured this would be a perfect place.

Lately it's like nothing I ever do is right. The way I say things, how I am. I already feel crap about myself and I'm just so confused at the moment as to whether I'm just some freak who comes across completely wrong. I get told I'm shouting things when to me I don't feel that I am.

The other day my boyfriend started an argument because he said I don't respect his opinion when I go clothes shopping. When he tells me things will look good I say I don't like it or I don't think it will suit me. That's mainly because I hate how I look and shopping for me takes time. But he said I don't respect his opinion and I should because he's the opposite sex and he knows more than I do what looks good on me. Now for me it wasn't that I don't respect his opinion, it was that I genuinely didn't like or think the clothes would have suited me. I didn't think it was a big deal. He tells me I like plain clothes and I should go for something different. Now it feels like I should agree with everything he likes and it's made it awkward.

I'm just feeling really bad about myself and constant criticism isn't helping. It's just making me feel like I'm a bad person.

I apologise for this rant over something so small. I'm just feeling fed up, stressed and alone and needed somewhere to vent.

 

[Mary Mary]

Im writing this to mainly have a rant. I don't really have friends I can vent to so I figured this would be a perfect place.

Lately it's like nothing I ever do is right. The way I say things, how I am. I already feel crap about myself and I'm just so confused at the moment as to whether I'm just some freak who comes across completely wrong. I get told I'm shouting things when to me I don't feel that I am.

The other day my boyfriend started an argument because he said I don't respect his opinion when I go clothes shopping. When he tells me things will look good I say I don't like it or I don't think it will suit me. That's mainly because I hate how I look and shopping for me takes time. But he said I don't respect his opinion and I should because he's the opposite sex and he knows more than I do what looks good on me. Now for me it wasn't that I don't respect his opinion, it was that I genuinely didn't like or think the clothes would have suited me. I didn't think it was a big deal. He tells me I like plain clothes and I should go for something different. Now it feels like I should agree with everything he likes and it's made it awkward.

I'm just feeling really bad about myself and constant criticism isn't helping. It's just making me feel like I'm a bad person.

I apologise for this rant over something so small. I'm just feeling fed up, stressed and alone and needed somewhere to vent.

Hello

He sounds a bit controlling. Men do appreciate it when you where something they say they like, but for him to get that upset about it is a bit over the top.

 

[Limlim]

Could also possibly be that he's tired of shopping visits taking too long and is using the "you don't respect my opinion" excuse to get the two of you out of there quicker when you don't pick the first thing he likes.

 

[Mary Mary]

Could also possibly be that he's tired of shopping visits taking too long and is using the "you don't respect my opinion" excuse to get the two of you out of there quicker when you don't pick the first thing he likes.

 

[brickinthewall]

Honestly never trust a man with buying clothes.

I suck at it and I admit this. Every time I go shopping for clothes I have a female accompany me because I simply respect their opinion and have the feeling that most of them have better tastes than men , generally speaking of course.

He may also say that because he doesn't like spending too much time in shops but like Mary said he does sound a bit controlling.

At the end of the day you should wear what you feel comfortably wearing and while you should hear out his opinion , your decision should be the final one.

 

[Poueff]

A great women (aka I just forgot her name,but she's important) once said:
"Women dress-up like they do for each other,not for men. If they prepared themself for men,they'd be naked"

 

[ShybutHi]

Well your bf doesnt sound like hes being very understanding. What you or he choose's should ofcourse be something that you feel comfortable in whether he likes it or not considering you are the one going to be wearing it. If you dont feel you would be comfortable with something that he choose's, he certainly shouldnt criticise you for not being in agreement.

It does sound a bit like he could of been quite restless from shopping, but still it really doesnt sound like he was being very respectful to your opinion.

 

[Mary Mary]

A great women (aka I just forgot her name,but she's important) once said:
"Women dress-up like they do for each other,not for men. If they prepared themself for men,they'd be naked"

 

[Sci-Fi]

Hi AimeeLou welcome to the forums, nothing wrong with ranting it can be very therapeutic.

Sounds like to me that your boyfriend is just frustrated. When us men are asked our opinion on something and its always brushed off it is very annoying. I had a friend who would always ask my opinion on things and NEVER take any advice I gave her and then later tell me she should have. I stopped giving her any advice. I'm not going to say your boyfriend sounds controlling, you only told us one story so maybe just one time if he tells you he likes something, and he's being honest just buy it. You never know, maybe, just maybe others will compliment you and that will make you both feel good. If not and people think it doesn't look good you will know to never ask his opinion again, and if he gets mad you have something to back yourself up with. To ask someones opinion and never take it can cause a strain on a relationship.

 

[LGH1288]

A great women (aka I just forgot her name,but she's important) once said:
"Women dress-up like they do for each other,not for men. If they prepared themself for men,they'd be naked"

Poueff ~ A great, important woman said that? Really? I'm very curious to know who you're quoting. Personally, I dress appropriately for the situation, according to my liking, comfort is key. I don't give a crap what anyone else thinks, female or male. I opt never to go shopping with others because it's a drag on the efficient use of my time.

 

[AimeeLou84]

Hi guys and thanks for replying I'm feeling a lot calmer today!

The argument wasn't because he felt frustrated with shopping. I spend very little time shopping and when i do go in a shop I spend about 2 minutes in there. The argument started in the car on the way to his mum's. I had on a new pair of black jeans that I bought because he said black jeans would suit me. I wasn't feeling very confident because I suffer from social anxiety. He suggested going for a coffee in town and I said I'd rather not because of how I was feeling. We could go shopping to a supermarket etc but I just didn't fancy going into town because we'd also been shopping for the past 3 days and I was knackered. He said I looked great and I said I just didn't feel it because I wasn't used to the jeans but they'd grow on me. That's when he got frustrated and said I never respect his opinion because he was telling me I looked good and I dismissed it. Then he brought up about when we go shopping I never listen to his opinion. Firstly I never ask for it. I do now I know it bothers him. But I've never asked him and then dismissed what he's said. I just look at something and say "na I don't think I could pull that off". And then we'll go to the shops he wants to go to. He loves shopping more than I do lol.

So it's not out of frustration. It just baffled me because I wasn't being moody or anything and I was just feeling insecure. So having him jump on me saying I never respected his opinion was the last thing I needed.

I like his opinion but sometimes it feels like he's trying to turn me into someone I'm not. A type of girl that I'm not if that makes sense.

 

[Sci-Fi]

Ah, okay. He's your boyfriend if he's telling you that you look good then to him you do no matter how you are feeling. He's trying to boost you up, sounds like he wanted to show you off a little maybe You weren't feeling it so you dismissed his compliment, guys don't like that. Sometimes it's a lose/lose situation, if we don't tell you that you look good then we get in crap for that, when we tell you that you do look good then you dismiss it. Seems like he doesn't quite understand how you are feeling, he might not get what having social anxiety feels like.

Sometimes us guys like our women to look **** sexy, and then show you off. I get what you are saying though, you don't want to become someone you are not. Relationships are hard, there's a lot of give and take but becoming someone you are not is not good for you. Do you try to talk to him, like just sit down and express yourself to him so he understands your social anxiety and what it feels like for you? You could try a little exercise, like if you find something that you like on him that he doesn't really want to wear, then maybe he'll get it.