beingnobody
Well-known member
- Joined
- Sep 27, 2018
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9PM my time, this Indiana cornfield. This time of day, waiting for the refuge and sanctuary of sleep, is the loneliest and darkest period of every day. Sleep never comes easy to me, at least not without chemical assistance, which i am unable to obtain through my doctors because they view me as an imminent suicide due to previous attempts(2) using sleeping and pain pills.
Anytime I go to doctor office now it is mandated I spend some time speaking to whichever mental health provider is on duty.
So usually I spend the majority of every night lying alone thrashing about, anxious, exhausted, over thinking, over analyzing, scrutinizing, dissecting existence.
Miserable, lost, afraid of emptiness, if that makes any sense.
And before anyone even starts, I am NOT a "believer", so let's keep that in mind for future reference.
It may some nite be topic of its own in my transient and irreverent ramblings...
So, the darkened hours are for me, typically introspection, reflection, and communion with creatures of the night, and occasionally, shamelessly, creatures of imagination and perception, which I always recognize as purely deception.
Sooo, off I go to tempt the pillow phantom...
Anytime I go to doctor office now it is mandated I spend some time speaking to whichever mental health provider is on duty.
So usually I spend the majority of every night lying alone thrashing about, anxious, exhausted, over thinking, over analyzing, scrutinizing, dissecting existence.
Miserable, lost, afraid of emptiness, if that makes any sense.
And before anyone even starts, I am NOT a "believer", so let's keep that in mind for future reference.
It may some nite be topic of its own in my transient and irreverent ramblings...
So, the darkened hours are for me, typically introspection, reflection, and communion with creatures of the night, and occasionally, shamelessly, creatures of imagination and perception, which I always recognize as purely deception.
Sooo, off I go to tempt the pillow phantom...