Help to get help

[AlonelyCrumpet]

I am 46 and have been drinking most of my life..............I have lost everything, moved to Texas from California for a new job and lost that too..............now I am struck here in Texas knowing nobody............all I have been doing the last years is drink everyday.......I know I am a alcohlic but am so afraid to go to a meeting............I have tried a few times but only made it to the parking lot, to afraid to get out of my truck. Why am I so scared?? I know if I dont stop drinking I will die...........I cant stop drinking and I am to afraid to go to a meeting . Can anybody help me??

 

[Danielle]

i don't suffer from addiction, but I know many that do. Taking that first step and going to a meeting is hard, but so very important. You have already done one of the hardest things, admitting that you have a problem. Kudos to you on that.... that is the scariest part of all.

From watching loved ones suffer their addictions, I can suggest actually stepping inside the meeting. You've made it to the parking lot, not step inside. No one will make you speak. Sit and listen to others stories, and you may see that some of them sound a bit like your own.

You could also make a Dr's appt. to discuss your addiction, and also get a referral for a therapist. One step at a time, one day at a time, one minute at a time....

You could also look for other online forums that deal with addiction and read through their threads, and also get advice from people suffering from addiction. And of course, we are here to listen and offer the best advice we can.

Don't give up on your self... you are a life worth saving... (hugs) to you.

 

[coricopat]

All I can say is I know that feeling. That horrible feeling of knowing you need to change but feeling like you aren't strong enough to take the first step.

You made it to the parking lot, and that's great....heck a lot of people never get that far. Keep trying until you actually get through the door. Then come back here and brag about how awesome you are. Danille's right, you won't be required to do a thing at the meeting, and everyone who is there has already gone through what you're going through now.

In the meantime, try to work out why you're so scared. Is it the people that'll be at the meeting? Is it b/c attending will make your efforts 'real' and you're not really ready for that? Is it because there's a clown at the door, and you're scared of clowns? Feel free to offer your own suggestions, even if you're not certain.

 

[AlonelyCrumpet]

No I didnt see a clown at the door.............do they usually have clowns that wait at the door???? **** Something more i have to be afraid of............

 

[Minus]

Many locations have an AA hotline where you can talk to someone local that is in the program. Some of them will even help you get to a meeting. Going in with someone, even if you only met them shortly before, may make things a bit easier.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

hahahaaa....I moved from Texas to california.

It's actaully normal of what you're doing or going through.
Most people do try to get sober themselves.
Alot of people will drive to the parking lot for a couple of weeks.
Then if they do have the nerve to step inside the meeting room...they'll just take a peep. hahahaaaa...(I did.)

Even when my ex-gf was stalking me. (she was totally messed up out of her fucken mind)..hahaaaaa
She would chase me to meetings....just to drive by.
Then she would driv into the parking lot and wanna talk to me. (for a couple of weeks)
Then she would send people into meetings to get me.
Then she would stand in the door way but never step into the room. hahaaaa

Hahahaa....I can't judge her becuase I drove around block for over a month before I attended an Al-anon meeting.
I was in so much pains, as soon as I walked into the room, I broke down in tears.

Everybody have different bottoms....

As far was getting help. you know there's help if you want it.
It's steping through the invisible wall of fears, step out of your comfortzone.
Changes is scary for everyone. It's a major life style change.
And getting clean and sober for the first time in your life is scary...The UNknown.

Wtf am i going to do now if I don't drink anymore?? Hahahaaaa
How in the fresia am i going to cope or live if I cant check the fresia out or numb the fresia out??

Just keep on trying and reach out.
You don't even have to go sober. You can attend the meetings drunk.
If you can get sober and stay sober by yourself...then we wouldn't need AA/NA meetings.lmao.
If you go, you might get sober and stay sober.. Make sense???
Going through physical withdraws is not easy either...
Then the mental and emotional withdraws.

It's not a quick fix. Stopping drinking won't solve all your living problems or challenges.
The 12 steps is not a how to stop drinking program. It's a living program with spiritaul principles.
It's a program of suggestions. You dont have to do anything in AA, NA, ..etc. It's universal principles.
It's freedom from drungs and alcohol at first...then freedom from the insanities, dramma, turama, chaso.
In other words...not cuase more pains on top of pains.

Here's a slogons that might help.
I didn't go to AA/NA to save my face. I went to AA/NA to save my ASS !
I didnt go to AA/NA to save my soul. I went to AA/NA to save my life.
I'm not a bad person trying to become good. I'm sick person trying to get well.

I couldn't imagine not taking a drink for the rest of my life. I can however can do it Just for today.
Sometimes I cant even do it one day at a time...I do 1 hour at a time or 5 mins at a time.
These are principles of breaking things down into smaller portions so life dosn't overwhelm us....(or baby steps).

When I'm in a rut..I can't solve and fix everything. I can't even do or put in 100%, 120%, 50%.
I can however can give 5% or 10%. It's obtainable or do able for me or more manageable for me.
In other words...I've made a mole hill out of a mountain. Or taking a piece meal. I can only take a little bite out of a stake at a time.
I can't swallow the entire stake in one bite.
It's pretty much how things get done in life and how successful people obtain thier hopes and dreams.

Be well