How is it possible that people are still lonely in the Age of Zoom?

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vng2015

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Throughout the last 15 years I made many attempts to make telephone and later Zoom friends. Very little success.

I am a 53 yo man, I have Asperger's Syndrome, and I am overweight. Of course I am not looking for any romantic partners.
 

dan27

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I think the Internet has under-mined our inter-actions by using electronic gadgetry instead of physical modes.
Maybe it's time to join a team or hiking club...in person?

I'm scouring YouTube wayyyy too much, myself.
I'm getting fatter/lazier by the day.
My bicycle is my only exercise anymore.
 

vng2015

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I think the Internet has under-mined our inter-actions by using electronic gadgetry instead of physical modes.
Maybe it's time to join a team or hiking club...in person?
I am sorry -- I love having virtual audio friends.

I had virtual friends prior to Internet -- people whom I have never seen, but with whom I talked on telephone a lot.
 

insecure

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Throughout the last 15 years I made many attempts to make telephone and later Zoom friends. Very little success.

I am a 53 yo man, I have Asperger's Syndrome, and I am overweight. Of course I am not looking for any romantic partners.
What I find sad in your story is the way you say that "of course" you are not looking for any romantic partners.
It feels like you don't think you have any right to want that.
I believe everyone who wants that is entitled to it, but of course the issue is that no-one can force anyone else to love them.
 
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I am sorry -- I love having virtual audio friends.
Hi VNG 🙂 with the expansion of internet and social media, the crowd is bigger, so, I think what it is ... is that perhaps you are just having trouble finding the right like minded people whom you can make a connection with. There are more people on line now that you need to weed through. If one social media venue is not working, may I suggest you try another. Have you tried 'Stitch' ?
 

vng2015

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What I find sad in your story is the way you say that "of course" you are not looking for any romantic partners.
It feels like you don't think you have any right to want that.
I believe everyone who wants that is entitled to it, but of course the issue is that no-one can force anyone else to love them.
In USA, sex work is illegal.

In most of Europe, it is legal.

Now I am just looking for Zoom friends.
 

insecure

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Well, I wasn't referring to sex work.
I mean, you often hear people say : "everyone's entitled to love." or "everyone's entitled to happiness", etc.
It's a feeling that we have that everyone deserves that.
But even though everyone will feel this way, you can not go to someone and claim it from them.
Sex work is not really love as far as I'm concerned.
At best it will fulfill a physical need, and the customer might get the impression the sex worker really loves him/her, but it's just make belief.
At least, that is what I think.
 

sunflowergirl1306

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Well, I wasn't referring to sex work.
I mean, you often hear people say : "everyone's entitled to love." or "everyone's entitled to happiness", etc.
It's a feeling that we have that everyone deserves that.
But even though everyone will feel this way, you can not go to someone and claim it from them.
Sex work is not really love as far as I'm concerned.
At best it will fulfill a physical need, and the customer might get the impression the sex worker really loves him/her, but it's just make belief.
At least, that is what I think.
Are you talking about sexaholics?
 

insecure

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Are you talking about sexaholics?
No, I don't understand why people find me hard to understand on this.
I mean : I can say "everyone deserves love, everyone deserves tenderness", etc.
But it might be that I'm simply very ugly and hardly anyone finds me attractive.
So I have a 'right' to be loved, and everyone feels that everyone deserves this, but it doesn't mean that any girl/woman in particular has any obligation to love me, just because I am attracted to her, and vice versa of course.
Just like everyone is entitled to food doesn't mean people can demand from me personally to feed them.
 

sunflowergirl1306

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No, I don't understand why people find me hard to understand on this.
I mean : I can say "everyone deserves love, everyone deserves tenderness", etc.
But it might be that I'm simply very ugly and hardly anyone finds me attractive.
So I have a 'right' to be loved, and everyone feels that everyone deserves this, but it doesn't mean that any girl/woman in particular has any obligation to love me, just because I am attracted to her, and vice versa of course.
Just like everyone is entitled to food doesn't mean people can demand from me personally to feed them.
Yes,everyone deserves to be loved and everyone deserves to be happy.
 

vng2015

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My original thread was about finding Zoom or Skype friends...

The subject changed very much!
 

TropicalStarfish

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I think the landscape has simply changed. For one, as people get older, it seems, a general trend, is to crystalize one's social ties and become exclusionary. As one ages, responsibilities increase, stressors increase, trust decreases, time decreases, etc.. So, less people, for whatever reason, are in the, 'looking for group,' mode, to speak in gamer terms.

The younger generations are being raised on ipads and iphones and android devices. They live in a world of apps and swipes. And most importantly, they interact with their immediate peers, as opposed to the slightly older internet, where, it was a mixed bag. A forum for example, is a place where you can meet anyone from almost anywhere. Facebook and instagram, however, you meet people you already know, or who are aligned with some sort of similar interest, or social connection, perhaps, however vaguely.

There is probably more to it than all that; but, I think that covers a good bit of it.

I don't use social media, it's bad for you; the companies that peddle that crap are insane and sociopathic; and it's used for surveillance and data collecting. So, I don't use skype, or zoom either, for those reasons; unless I'm absolutely forced to. Luckily there are respectable alternatives.

And generally speaking, times are getting tougher and tougher, people are becoming more tribal, and everyone is struggling more lately, as the consequences of profit driven greed, ignorance, and inhumanity are fracturing society in a myriad of different ways. Authoritarian rule is on the rise as a consequence of the economic depressions that are fueled by unchecked greed as well as poor choices made by governments and corporations.

Loneliness, I have observed, in my experience, isn't related to whether or not you have family, friends, or people in your life. It's a feeling of being cut-off. Technology may help one overcome their loneliness. It may also make their loneliness worse. It might do neither. It depends on the cause of the loneliness.
 

vng2015

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I don't use social media, it's bad for you; the companies that peddle that crap are insane and sociopathic; and it's used for surveillance and data collecting. So, I don't use skype, or zoom either, for those reasons; unless I'm absolutely forced to. Luckily there are respectable alternatives.
I am sorry -- I am 53 yo, male, and overweight. My life expectancy is 20 more years.

A 23 yo can miss out on Social Media now, and still make up all they missed in 30 years.

I must make use of all technology which exists! I must live my life to the fullest extent!
 

Bam111

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Sorry I have never used Zoom I'm kind of not with the times, understand your point but there's many different factors why people are lonely whether they have a social platform or not will not make a person any less lonely even (celebrities) that are adored by millions of fans are some of the loneliest people in the world one case Robin Willams social media is a good way to interact with others but it's not the same thing for everyone.
 

sunflowergirl1306

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Sorry I have never used Zoom I'm kind of not with the times, understand your point but there's many different factors why people are lonely whether they have a social platform or not will not make a person any less lonely even (celebrities) that are adored by millions of fans are some of the loneliest people in the world one case Robin Willams social media is a good way to interact with others but it's not the same thing for everyone.
that's very true
 

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