I Just Have to Say Something About A Lonely Life

[Annie Bodie]

After lurking for a while I finally joined the board and I must say I am increasingly flabbergasted at the remarkable posts and people on this board! By and large you are some very, very, intelligent, articulate, creative people! It's so remarkable to me that I had to remark on it.

I've belonged to a LOT of message boards over the past ten plus years and it's equally depressing and irritating to see posters who won't even attempt an expression of complete thought, never mind introspection or speculation. Here I see so many people who convey their thoughts fluently in written form -- and REAL WORDS at that, not text-ese!

Hard or soft, gentle or coarse, angry, frightened or depressed, there is an unusually high proportion of people who think about themselves and others -- almost too much in some ways, perhaps, but I'm telling you, you are quite an interesting bunch of thinkers.

Have a nice day, guys.

 

[WildernessWildChild]

Well said Annie and I have to agree. There's a lot of uniqueness here in thought and opinion and I appreciate the way people articulate themselves regardless of whether I agree with what they write or not.

I find the texting "language" kind of offensive- when I send messages I use complete words/sentences. Maybe I'm a bit archaic that way....text-ese leaves me with the feeling I'm not worth genuine conversation.

 

[Annie Bodie]

I find the texting "language" kind of offensive- when I send messages I use complete words/sentences. Maybe I'm a bit archaic that way....text-ese leaves me with the feeling I'm not worth genuine conversation.

I don't think you're archaic at all because I'm the same way. In fact, when I've complained about the use of text-ese -- or even worse in a way, just plain bad grammar/spelling errors -- I've actually had people say (post) to me "WTF do I care whether what I put up on a message board is right or not?"

I'd say it's a generational thing but I know there's a lot of young people on this board (I'm 49 so young is a pretty broad brush stroke for me) and their posts are eloquent.

So maybe it does come back to what you said about people caring about the other poster and what I said in my first post. The people on this board are lonely and alone, but they care very much about what other people think and how their actions/thoughts impact others.

And that's always been something I felt, even as a child. I couldn't understand how the other children could be so mean to me, because I couldn't imagine making fun of them for any reason, I simply empathized too much and still do. Odd how people who are alone seem to come from one end of the spectrum (overly empathetic) or the other (don't empathize at all) yet still have virtually the exact same socialization problems.

 

[Forever Misanthrope]

I don't even take text type seriously, no matter what the medium. Chat sites, forums, mobile texting. I accept the compliment.

 

[Nightwing]

When you're lonely, you have plenty of alone time to think

 

[ladyforsaken]

Yay. Well, I don't post as much as I used to.. but, yay.

On a more serious note, I do agree, there's something different about this forum. I almost feel at home here. Well, cyber home.

 

[sk66rc]

One thing I'd like to add is, I can't seem to understand why or how some people ended up here on this forum... As the forum implies, "A Lonely Life" & some claiming to be "socially awkward", they sure seem to be very articulate & expressive to me... In my case, I just like being alone & prefer a lot of alone time... Not saying I hate people or I don't like social times, but I just don't like it for what most would consider normal length of time frame... Don't get me wrong, this isn't a "put down" for some people... It was meant to be more of a compliment than anything else if you really think about it... And if it's a personal choice, a lot like my own, that's a different story... I have to admit, I do sometimes would like to voice my opinion, or "socialize" on line, because I actually like the idea of being able to just turn it off or walk away or get out of the site if I wanted to very easily... Takes away the effort & drama of doing it all in person...

 

[Solivagant]

One thing I'd like to add is, I can't seem to understand why or how some people ended up here on this forum... As the forum implies, "A Lonely Life" & some claiming to be "socially awkward", they sure seem to be very articulate & expressive to me... In my case, I just like being alone & prefer a lot of alone time... Not saying I hate people or I don't like social times, but I just don't like it for what most would consider normal length of time frame...

Some people, like myself, are awkward in person but find it easier to express themselves online or through text.

That said, there are many reasons other than social awkwardness that one can be lonely. I might add that some people don't equate being lonely with being alone (especially when one prefers it), and they might wonder why you are here. =]

 

[sk66rc]

One thing I'd like to add is, I can't seem to understand why or how some people ended up here on this forum... As the forum implies, "A Lonely Life" & some claiming to be "socially awkward", they sure seem to be very articulate & expressive to me... In my case, I just like being alone & prefer a lot of alone time... Not saying I hate people or I don't like social times, but I just don't like it for what most would consider normal length of time frame...

Some people, like myself, are awkward in person but find it easier to express themselves online or through text.

That said, there are many reasons other than social awkwardness that one can be lonely. I might add that some people don't equate being lonely with being alone (especially when one prefers it), and they might wonder why you are here.

Yeah... I just realized how my previous post might have sounded & I ended up going back & editing it a bit, though I see I was too late & I don't think it made it any better... You're right, I shouldn't have generalized it... No 2 situations are identical & some would cope with one better than the other... I can also appreciate the fact that there can be so many different reasons that can lead to feel lonely... Like I was thinking but may not have expressed it in correct way, I wasn't trying to question someone's motive or their ability to socialize while being an active member here... I just thought if someone found it difficult relating to others, may be they can take experiences from here to outside world... Just an example, striking up a random topic in a crowd, seeing where the conversation is going & chiming in when more comfortable... I don't know...

 

[Solivagant]

Yeah... I just realized how my previous post might have sounded & I ended up going back & editing it a bit, though I see I was too late & I don't think it made it any better... You're right, I shouldn't have generalized it... No 2 situations are identical & some would cope with one better than the other... I can also appreciate the fact that there can be so many different reasons that can lead to feel lonely... Like I was thinking but may not have expressed it in correct way, I wasn't trying to question someone's motive or their ability to socialize while being an active member here... I just thought if someone found it difficult relating to others, may be they can take experiences from here to outside world... Just an example, striking up a random topic in a crowd, seeing where the conversation is going & chiming in when more comfortable... I don't know...

No worries, I didn't see your post as being offensive or anything. I was just giving you my thoughts about it. =]

 

[SofiasMami]

It truly is a nice forum, isn't it?
The moderators do a great job of keeping out the riff-raff too.
I think there's somewhat of a stigma in admitting one is lonely; perhaps that's why there are members here from all walks of life.
I don't believe feeling lonely is a personal failure, though.

Welcome to the forum!

-Teresa

 

[ladyforsaken]

Well, I think that the people on this forum aren't just here because of loneliness alone, as the title says. A lot of other issues have been discussed. Some might just be people who are not lonely, but feel like they don't really fit in anywhere. This is like a common place for it I think. It's nice.

 

[Edward W]

I'm not sure why everyone is here, but pretty much everyone seems really nice to me, it is a very special site.

 

[Indifferent]

I'd say it's a generational thing but I know there's a lot of young people on this board

:my:

I know a lot of people who's standard for writing is text language. It's lazy and it makes them seem dumb. If you use nxt or nm or hbu you fall into habit of "saying" things without conveying an actual message. Which makes talking more a nicety like your game face when you go into work. Ultimately, I think it undermines vocabulary development, which hinders their ability to accurately express themselves. That said, those individuals I know don't really express themselves, and when they try it falls into a 2D cycle that's almost laughable because it's so easy to identify… Kind of harsh but I stand by it.

I also like this site and the people on it. Though I wish it was slightly more… interactive. As mentioned though, A Lonely Life is an open statement, so how you'd manage making it feel more tightly knit is beyond me.

 

[Annie Bodie]

Well, I think that the people on this forum aren't just here because of loneliness alone, as the title says. A lot of other issues have been discussed. Some might just be people who are not lonely, but feel like they don't really fit in anywhere. This is like a common place for it I think. It's nice.

That's me, not fitting in anywhere else. Not fitting in, period.

I get lonely sometimes, no denying it, but I think I could more accurately be described as being a loner and, understandably, people who enjoy being surrounded by friends/family don't understand loners *shrug*

And if you don't hang around people much your social skills get a little rusty which makes being around people even more awkward -- I frequently suffer from "open mouth, insert foot" syndrome ... which you'd think I'd have outgrown by now!

 

[Anahita]

^ I do that foot-in-mouth thing as well! Also I find that if I haven't been socialising or talking to anyone much, I start to not want to do it at all, even if I know it will make me feel better. Sometimes I feel like I don't even want to go out of the house, but I have a dog so I have to make myself do it. And then I do feel better.

 

[Annie Bodie]

^ I do that foot-in-mouth thing as well! Also I find that if I haven't been socialising or talking to anyone much, I start to not want to do it at all, even if I know it will make me feel better. Sometimes I feel like I don't even want to go out of the house, but I have a dog so I have to make myself do it. And then I do feel better.

Oh, absolutely. I get mildly agoraphobic, too. Sometimes I have to work myself up just to get out the door, talk myself through the whole putting on sneakers and actually turning the doorknob.

Unfortunately, I'm on my own when my husband is at work. I have cats and they're perfectly fine with never setting foot out of the house LOL!

 

[WildernessWildChild]

The moderators do a great job of keeping out the riff-raff too.

-Teresa

They do?