PenDragon-I find that it happens to me almost all the time. It is so strange to be walking around with no one seeing the turmoil inside me-it makes me feel so alone. On those occasions when I have tried to show some of it, people have either been very surprised or have not believed me because it conflicts too much with their mental image of me. I don't really have anyone I can talk to properly about it, though I have a good email friend I can trust. This is not the same as talking face to face, but it is a lot better than having no one at all.
Tealeaf-like you I tend to be overlooked as well by other people. Often I envy those who are outgoing and who can hold others spellbound by their conversation and vivacity.
One of the things I mentioned when starting this thread was that at university in the 80's I felt very much as though I was living other people's lives, carrying their weight of hopes and dreams on my back while what I wanted was ignored (ie to marry and have a family). This has come back to me at intervals over the years, the way I felt then, so unhappy and alone and stressed out, valued solely for my achievements, and this time what brought it back to me was a mental health writing and support group I used to go to, but where I felt stressed and lonely most of the time. I left but went back twice late last year. The similarity with my time at university was that some of the others in the support group kept on about how good I was at things and they talked as if I was a perfect person. When I said I couldn't do maths or that there were lots of things I couldn't do, it was ignored or brushed away. If I was upset or unhappy and needed help, it wasn't taken as seriously as it would have been if one of the others had been unhappy or upset. I went to a little computer group the other week for some help with a technical issue and one of the writing group members came in (I hadn't known she was a member) and she said 'Surely you don't need to come here.' Another time I was colouring in a child's colouring book in the group (something I do when my concentration is very bad) and the same person said 'I wouldn't have thought that you would get any intellectual stimulation from that' as if I was supposed to be achieving all the time. I felt like they were on my back all the time. They didn't see me as just one of the group, someone with needs and feelings. At the Aspergers group I go to, it is different. It is safe to be intelligent there as it doesn't make people start treating me as if I am perfect and to have expectations of me. I can be intelligent there and still be accepted as a total mess, as we are all the same.