I wish someone could explain me why my mother behaves like that, it broke my heart so many times and in spite of therapy (mine and hers) I cannot explain why this keeps happening, and she won't tell me.
For as long as I can remember, whenever I was sick she backed out when it was necessary to call outside help (unless it was a really high fever).
In my teens I suffered from severe gastric problems, and instead of cures I would get tranquilizers because she would make the doctors calls like this:"hello, yes, she says that she has a tummy ache, yeah, that's what she claims (!)" etc. Once she wasn't home, running after my father, and I was in a life threatening situation, I called first aid, and they remembered my record (it was a small town) and they took their leisured time to come and I almost died (and had panic attacks for years afterwards). That night I called her too, urging her to call first aid too to make them come faster, and she didn't do it, or she did the same as usual, because when they came they even laughed at me, until we went to the hospital where it was clear that there was nothing to laugh about.
Some weeks ago I got so angry at her that probably I had a blood pressure crisis (having for the first time in my life high blood pressure these days) then I sort of collapsed and couldn't get up for 48 hours with an abnormally massive headache. Anyone else would have been worried, not her. I asked her to call first aid (ahah, I know, I should stop asking, I always hope that she will redeem herself) and she told them that I had this headache "but I was out walking all day" (which was a lie!!!!), to which of course they said that it was nothing. She refuses to give an explanation to this kind of behaviour, she says that she doesn't realise that she does like that.
It's extremely confusing for me because she claims that she lives only for me, she runs to do the most minute services and if we fight she won't sleep, but the things that are really important (keeping dust away from my allergy, not bothering me all the time when I am depressed, defending me from the bullies at school, calling the doctor if I am sick) she won't do. Until some years ago, whenever I really needed help she would not sleep or eat or drink for some days so that she would be completely useless the moment she arrived to help and "I" had to take care of her. When I went to the hospital with pneumonia (she did run to support me but she was so bad off that they were hospitalising her instead of me! (Usually she is very healthy and strong, only when something important is there she collapses)
Why do you think she behaves like this? It hurts so much, I had panic attacks for many years out of this knowledge that if I were to be dying no one will help me, and last week I had for the first time in 15 years another one, all because I am living with her. I think if I understood WHY she does that I would be able to put that behind me.
For as long as I can remember, whenever I was sick she backed out when it was necessary to call outside help (unless it was a really high fever).
In my teens I suffered from severe gastric problems, and instead of cures I would get tranquilizers because she would make the doctors calls like this:"hello, yes, she says that she has a tummy ache, yeah, that's what she claims (!)" etc. Once she wasn't home, running after my father, and I was in a life threatening situation, I called first aid, and they remembered my record (it was a small town) and they took their leisured time to come and I almost died (and had panic attacks for years afterwards). That night I called her too, urging her to call first aid too to make them come faster, and she didn't do it, or she did the same as usual, because when they came they even laughed at me, until we went to the hospital where it was clear that there was nothing to laugh about.
Some weeks ago I got so angry at her that probably I had a blood pressure crisis (having for the first time in my life high blood pressure these days) then I sort of collapsed and couldn't get up for 48 hours with an abnormally massive headache. Anyone else would have been worried, not her. I asked her to call first aid (ahah, I know, I should stop asking, I always hope that she will redeem herself) and she told them that I had this headache "but I was out walking all day" (which was a lie!!!!), to which of course they said that it was nothing. She refuses to give an explanation to this kind of behaviour, she says that she doesn't realise that she does like that.
It's extremely confusing for me because she claims that she lives only for me, she runs to do the most minute services and if we fight she won't sleep, but the things that are really important (keeping dust away from my allergy, not bothering me all the time when I am depressed, defending me from the bullies at school, calling the doctor if I am sick) she won't do. Until some years ago, whenever I really needed help she would not sleep or eat or drink for some days so that she would be completely useless the moment she arrived to help and "I" had to take care of her. When I went to the hospital with pneumonia (she did run to support me but she was so bad off that they were hospitalising her instead of me! (Usually she is very healthy and strong, only when something important is there she collapses)
Why do you think she behaves like this? It hurts so much, I had panic attacks for many years out of this knowledge that if I were to be dying no one will help me, and last week I had for the first time in 15 years another one, all because I am living with her. I think if I understood WHY she does that I would be able to put that behind me.
