If you have funny joke, place it over here..!!

[jrodrick4]

Hi everyone,

Laughter is the best medicine. So, I'm going to create this thread just for fun. Enjoy ..!!

joke :
A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer.

His friend says: “Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man.”

The man then replies: “Yeah, well we were married 35 years.”

 

[PoisonFlowers]

Hehe oh dang. I'm not very good at jokes, but I like this one:

Why can't a nose be 12 inches long?

...

Because then it'll be a foot

 

[loketron]

thats what she said.....

 

[adraineva]

Hello Everyone,

Here is one on Superman.

Superman was terribly bored with fighting crime, so one Friday night he decided to go out on the town to have some fun for a change.

He dropped by Batman's house. "Hey Batman," he said. "Wanna' go out tonight?"

"No, I can't," replied Batman. "The Batmobile is broken and I gotta' stay home and fix it, or else I won't be able to fight crime."

"You loser," said Superman, and he flew away in disgust.

He then decided to stop by Spiderman's house. "Hey, Spidey, how about hitting the town tonight, you and me," he said.

"I'd love to, but I can't," replied Spiderman. "My web-slinger is jammed and I gotta fix it in order to fight crime."

Superman, all disgusted, quipped: "You loser. Go ahead--stay home on a Friday night and fix your damned web-slinger."

He again flew away.

While flying around the city looking for something to do, his super vision spotted Wonder Woman lying on her back, stark naked and spread-eagle!

Superman thought, "Hey, I'm Superman, so I can fly down there at the speed of light, have a quickie and she'll never know the difference!"

Wonder Woman said, "What the hell was that?"

The Invisible Man said, "I don't know, but it hurt like hell!"

 

[freedom]

there once was a young married couple that was always arguing with eachother. they decided to take a week-long vacation to israel to try and rekindle their love and to try and reconcile their differences. after a few days there, the woman suddenly died of terrible food poisoning. while making arrangements for her funeral, he was given two options. "the first option", said the man helping him make the arrangements, "is to ship your wife's body back to america. this will cost you $2,000, and then when she gets there, you'll have to make arrangements for the actual funeral". the man thought about it. "the second option is that for only $100, you can bury her here, in the holy land. this option includes the cost of the casket and the actual funeral service, as well as the spot for her grave". without giving it any thought, the man chose the first option. "but sir...", the man replied, "why would you choose to pay $5,000 to ship your wife back to america, when for only $100, you can bury her here, in the holy land, israel?". the man replied, "oh, no no no. not too long ago, a man was buried here and he resurrected after three days. i can't take that chance with my wife".

it's pretty mean, but very funny...

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!

 

[Lost Soul]

You have reached the end of the internet... You have seen every page there is to see on the internet!

There once was a guy sitting by his computer. He and his computer were covered on cobwebs. You wonder why they call it the web...

 

[suckaG]

what sits at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?


....

a nervous wreck!


BAHAHAHA!

 

[edgecrusher]

the joke i would like to tell is kind of visual.

 

[niki_gal84]

The Immigration Officer said "Carlos, you have passed all the tests so far, but there is still one more. Unless you pass it, you cannot enter the U.S. "

Carlos said, "I am ready."

The officer said,
"Make a sentence using Yellow, Pink and Green."

Carlos thought for a few minutes and said, "Mister Officer, I am ready."

The Officer said, "Okay, go ahead."

Carlos said, "The telephone goes green, green, green, and I pink it up, and say, 'Yellow, this is Carlos'."

 

[Badjedidude]

A lady came up to me on the street and pointed at my suede jacket.

"You know a cow was murdered for that jacket?" she sneered.

I replied quietly, "I didn't know there were any witnesses. Now I'll have to kill you too."

@@__@@__@@__@@__@@__@@__@@

I broke up with my girlfriend recently.

She yelled at me as I walked away, "You'll never ever find another girl like me!"

I turned slowly, smiled, and said, "I hope not! That's why I'm dumping you!"

 

[VanillaCreme]

what sits at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?


....

a nervous wreck!


BAHAHAHA!

omg lol... Why was this funny to me... I giggled, I did. +5 Sucka.

 

[Badjedidude]

A few one liners:

A clear conscience means a bad memory.

Artificial intelligence beats real stupidity.

Atheism is a non-profit organization.

C program run. C program crash. C programmer quit.

 

[suckaG]

why was the tomato blushing?

---

because it saw the salad dressing!

 

[evanescencefan91]

what is a freudian slip?

it's when you say one thing and mean a mother