I'm so mad!! >.< I don't understand people!

[ThatLonerChick]

Okay.
There's this guy that I met like a month ago and he didn't have any friends at college so I befriended him and showed him around. Things were cool for a while. We got along great.
He asked me who else I hung out with besides a few other people I told him about..
"I'm kind of a loner.. if you wanna know the truth.." I said.

He started to cuddling with me when we played video games. It was kinda nice.. you know..just being close with someone...
Later.. he started saying things that made me mad:
"You're boring."
"Say something! You're so quiet!"
"When are you going to get more friends?"
But he would always want to hang out or text me or something....
I became a little distant... not always wanting to hang out..
People started asking us if were were a thing..
We talked about it later.
He told me he doesn't want to settle or some honeysuckle.. like he has commitment issues or something... or like he just wants to mess around for a while...
I said then I just wanted to be friends then... (even though I kinda liked him)
"Friends with benefits?" he asked.
"No!" I said.. not that at all...
We began to joke around some...
I had to leave to go to work.
Before I walked out the door.. he pulled me close and his lips touched mine..
I pulled back "I have to go..." my voice was quiet and shaky.. I have major trust issues so that was not okay at all...
I walked out... it just felt stupid and shallow

I am avoiding him now... just because it's what I'm best at
and he's mostly ignoring me..
Things are so so awkward between us now!! >.<
GAH!! I hate it!! :/
every single time I start to get close to someone... something like this happens!!
I don't understand people!!

 

[Tealeaf]

You could do what I do and plan for cockatoos instead.

If you're having friendships with guys, though, you need to be on alert for any signs of someone looking for FwB and nip it in the bud. Accepting or initiating physical contact without drawing the lines first, with someone you're probably still only passingly familiar with, leaves the door wide open for this.

If they like to touch you and want to be around you a lot, that's a pretty big sign that they're interested sexually or romantically.

 

[ThatLonerChick]

Yeah.. I just was bothered by the fact he told me he didn't like settling...
I just hate how he was being such a jerk to me by telling me how boring I was.. that's rude!! >.<

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Lmao...boys will be boys

Why dont you tell him...You still hold the prize and it's definitely isnt that boring yet.
Even if it was...he's not invited to your party becuase BoB is still king.

 

[Veilside05]

Definately dont go for "Friends with benefits". Well, I guess you should distant yourself since he do not want to commit to anything unless you are really sure you will not be affected when one day he just walk away. But being human, how can one not be affected after feelings are evolved?

 

[ThatLonerChick]

Definately dont go for "Friends with benefits". Well, I guess you should distant yourself since he do not want to commit to anything unless you are really sure you will not be affected when one day he just walk away. But being human, how can one not be affected after feelings are evolved?

I would probably be very affected by that.. I'd like have to go to therapy or something..
I was just going to avoid him.. I've done it before to people...
I'm just so frustrated :'(

 

[Veilside05]

I rather you distant yourself, take a step back and make new friends.

If he really wants you, he will come back for you. But if he wants you only for "sex", then dont get yourself hurt for nothing. This kind of guy is not worthy for you. Love yourself.

Anyway, even if you dont have alot of friends at the moment, you still have an account here. There are many friendly people out here who are more than willing to offer valuable advise. Can pm me too if you want rant. LOL

 

[ajdass1]

It's really not acceptable for him to go for a kiss even after you made it clear to him that you didn't want to be friends with benefits... and the fact that he's putting you down is not nice at all (sometimes friends have the kind of rapport where they put each other down, but that obviously didn't work for you). Those are two things that are quite unpleasant and would make me feel like just cutting things off.

Even if you make it absolutely 100% clear to him that you're not interested and just want to be friends, are you still going to have to worry about him coming onto you when you really don't want to? Is he going to try and pressure you more? I don't know, but from what you've told me I wouldn't want to be in a situation where I would have to find out. He's just sounding really gross and not worth your time...

 

[ThatLonerChick]

thanks guys I just needed some advice with this. It means alot to me, even if we are complete strangers

 

[Stars]

He sounds like an ******* IMO.

I was in a similar circumstance...even though he was a lonely, nerdy, shy virgin...he was just as much of an ******* as all the player dudes because all he wanted me for was a FWB and I'm glad I didn't give him his way.

He wouldn't even be my friend...if he doesn't even wanna be friends then all he wants to do is use your body.

I'm very happy I cut off all ties because the bottom line is he didn't care about me as a person...just one of the many of billions of men looking to just get laid and leaving a trail of broken hearts...

---

Also, this dude gave you his honest opinion...you're boring to him and sounds like he kinda looks down on you.

Same with my dude...he kept bitching about how boring I am and how I need to work harder to keep his interest (now I realize he meant having sex)...then kept insisting he was my friend but all he did was try to touch me and keep pulling the "commitment phobia" BS...don't waste your time. Seriously.

It's up to you though, but he sounds like a total dud.

 

[Sarah_Lbnz]

He sounds like an ******* IMO.

---

Also, this dude gave you his honest opinion...you're boring to him and sounds like he kinda looks down on you.

Same with my dude...he kept bitching about how boring I am and how I need to work harder to keep his interest (now I realize he meant having sex)...then kept insisting he was my friend but all he did was try to touch me and keep pulling the "commitment phobia" BS...don't waste your time. Seriously.

It's up to you though, but he sounds like a total dud.

---

Seconded this.

It sounds like you're definitely taking care of yourself, though, by distancing yourself from him! Excellent!

Your trust issues??!!! Sounds like you trust your intuition, which is that he is a verbally abusive ****** who doesn't give a crap about your boundaries.

 

[strife]

You're doing the best thing you can imo, ignore him and cut him from your life. After all that happened, friends is not a great idea. Anything more is an awful idea, trust me.

Some one that briefly or even slightly mentions commitment issues is NOT going to stay true to you. (been there done that on both sides) Some one that tells you anything like "you're boring" or "get some friends" is not supportive and it only gets worse as you stay with them.

One thing every one should do... Tell the person you are with that you are either their FIRST choice or you are not their choice.

Being some ones back up or person they settled for will tear you apart in the long run. It's unhealthy for you, and they will never feel the same things you feel for them.

 

[5pt7art]

i dont know the situation...but what is he was just messing sround when he made those comments?..what if he really does like you and he just doesnt know how to express himself...for all you know he could be in your same situation where he doesnt trust anyone and he was trying to open up to you.

 

[Loser#1]

i dont know the situation...but what is he was just messing sround when he made those comments?..what if he really does like you and he just doesnt know how to express himself...for all you know he could be in your same situation where he doesnt trust anyone and he was trying to open up to you.

being shy and quiet probably saved you from a much worse fate. Had you reacted to being boring, by being outgoing, shy by being slutty... You'd be in the same miserable situation except he would have gotten in your pants. Anytime a guy runs you down like that it's an angle to get in your pants. Stick to the video games until some guy likes the fact you are shy, or quiet