Is anyone else here a strange from family members?

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Butterfly 2

A Lonely Life Supporting Member
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I am and it wasn't my decision and it is close to 20 years now. The relief from being away from the couple is indescribable, but with it came the loss of our grandchildren and I could really use them in my life right now.

Anyone else in a similar situation where they are no longer in contact with someone from their own family?
 
I essentially wrote a lot of my family off. I will talk to them if I see them, but I don't go out of my way anymore to see/talk to them.
I have more contact with my ex's family than I do most of my own, but they actually treat me like family... still, even though I'm not with my ex anymore.
 
I've been distanced from my unloving dysfunctional family since leaving home long ago. While maintaining limited contact with my parents and sister, I grew completely apart from my brothers. After a 30 year gap of silence, I reconnected with two of them and have maintained a yearly relationship since. While visiting my Dad recently, my third local brother whom I hadn't seen in 46 years stopped by the house. It was an awkward meeting but pleasant surprise. Over the next few weeks, as my Dad got sick and quickly died, and afterwards as estate issues developed, we got to know and respect each other a bit. Dad's death essentially reunited us as brothers again.

My family remains dysfunctional with no one wanting to be around the other much. I've learned though that old, lost relationships can be restored again since I've not only done this with family, but with 8 of my old school and work friends - some dismissed 20-30 years ago.

As I grow older, I get more sentimental about old relationships. I value them more, and because I remain single in life, I seem to need them more than my friends who all have spouses and children. So, I have to be the one always reaching out, working to pursue or maintain a relationship. It may not be easy or fair, but I think it's worth it, because life is about relationships.
 
So interesting how many of you have gone through a very similar experience. As far as bumping into mine, they turn the other way and act horrified and once even called security on me because I said hi to my grandchildren. They should win Emmys or Oscars or whatever would be appropriate because they have some good acting skills.Thankfully we no longer live in the same area. The couple isn't just nasty. They are dangerous.

I just posted this on another thread on here, but wanted to give an update on my situation. Since it is probably time for me to consider a beneficiary on some things since my husband is no longer here and we can no longer be co-owners, I prayed about a sign and I did some online snooping today and I got one all right. It isn't that I had never done it, but something new popped up.

It appears my grandchildren are as unethical as the parents who raised them and I guess I should have figured that. Just hard to accept some things. It's also very clear they are still under the control of the gruesome twosome and are required to be boot lickers just like the requirement was 20 years ago. Unfortunately, I will probably be much better off by initiating no contact. I need to show appreciation for the relatives who have always been here for us and by that I mean my brother's family. And of course I would never omit animal causes or other good things.
 
Are you talling about inheritance? Blood ties i guess are important, though you make it sound about as void of connection as with my family.

Just dont take it away from them out of spite i guess. One of the few family members i really cared about wanted me to inherit his house and everything, but everyone else came between it cause money ofcourse. I didnt give a fresia at all.
To this day i still miss him so. Let them have thier paper and gold, even with all of it nothing will ever be the same ever again.
 
I'm not doing it out of spite. Their parents threw us out of their lives and refused to let us see our grandchildren and they are now grown and that is who we had always talked about having for our heirs. Unfortunately, it appears that they are the same swindling and unethical people as they were raised by.

There has been no contact for nearly 20 years because we were forbidden to contact them, with a threat of restraining orders and everything. And if it sounds like my husband and I were terrible people and dangerous, that's the farthest from the truth, but the couple are really good actors.

To leave anything to their family, even though part of it comes from my ancestors, would be futile. Nothing was ever good enough so I can't expect that anything in the future would ever be good enough and why would I want to leave anything to people who hate me? There also would be no recognition and it doesn't hurt as much as far as my husband and I are concerned, but for my parents to get no recognition or remembrance out of it would just be devastating for me.

So yeah, part of this is concerning an inheritance since I will now have to make out a will or make a revocable living trust. But I had started a different thread on that subject and I guess I just kind of drug it over into this thread about family that is estranged.
 
I am and it wasn't my decision and it is close to 20 years now. The relief from being away from the couple is indescribable, but with it came the loss of our grandchildren and I could really use them in my life right now.

Anyone else in a similar situation where they are no longer in contact with someone from their own family?
I don't get along with my brother and my wife doesn't get along with my sister. I'm in the middle
 
Two older brothers were estranged from us for years........we'd meet for an awkward Thanksgiving or Christmas every 4 or 5 years and then part ways, everyone relieved that it was over. They admitted to me that they simply could not tolerate Mom's bi-polar mood swings and Dad's passive narcissist, gaslighting ways of blaming everyone else for the f***ed upness of the family.
I however chose to accept being Mom's nurse and servant and learned how to keep a low profile around Dad.
I would choose a different life if I could do it over.
They're all dead now. I'm the last of the five of us still living.
 
Two older brothers were estranged from us for years........we'd meet for an awkward Thanksgiving or Christmas every 4 or 5 years and then part ways, everyone relieved that it was over. They admitted to me that they simply could not tolerate Mom's bi-polar mood swings and Dad's passive narcissist, gaslighting ways of blaming everyone else for the f***ed upness of the family.
I however chose to accept being Mom's nurse and servant and learned how to keep a low profile around Dad.
I would choose a different life if I could do it over.
They're all dead now. I'm the last of the five of us still living.
I'm sorry. It sounds like you had a hard life, but I'm glad to hear you stepped up and cared for your mother. You are a good person.
 

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