Is equality really possible in a monogamous relationship?

[cheaptrickfan]

Do you know of a relationship where the partners truly treat each other as equals?

I know of couples who claim to do so, but who really knows what the dynamic is between people except for them?

I think that it is possible, but it is not an effortless thing, though neither does it have to be a burden, it just requires thought and communication. IMO.

 

[Badjedidude]

Do you know of a relationship where the partners truly treat each other as equals?

There are always factors that we don't see in others' relationships...so really, it's impossible to say whether someone else's relationship is actually equal or not. So I agree with CTF here.

 

[AndrewM]

I wonder what it means to treat someone as an equal in this context. Obviously it involves respecting the other person. But I would have thought that, in order for a relationship to work, you would have to be able to put the other person's interests and expectations ahead of your own interests. And in order for you to get something out of the relationship, it would require that your partner does the same for you. This seems to be a little more complicated than simply respecting the right of the other person to be who they are. Instead, it means that there is a mutual interest in making the other person's priorities one's own.

 

[coricopat]

But I would have thought that, in order for a relationship to work, you would have to be able to put the other person's interests and expectations ahead of your own interests.

Actually I would strongly disagree with this part of your post. Putting someone else ahead of yourself is a recipe for disaster. Making someone else's interests and priorities as important as your own is one thing....putting someone ahead of you, while appealing in a romantic sense, is not healthy. You either end up getting stepped on, because the other person isn't doing the same, or you end up with a codependency problem.


I really didn't mean for my original question to be that complex. I don't really care about hidden factors, I just wanna know if someone can give me some real life examples of couples where both parties seem to respect the other as an equal. It really shouldn't be that hard to find, but I'm bothered that I can't find it in the relationships around me, and I was bothered to realize how absent it was in my own marriage, especially since it's so important to me.