E
evanescencefan91
Guest
Most the time I'm happy and energetic and a good person
Something i wanted to change, i always back down and avoid confrontations to avoid conflicts, even if I’m not the one at fault, i apologies and accept blame so that no one gets in trouble.
I wanted to be more assertive, i spoke with a tone, when i felt fowl, i fought for the last word, only once though,
Common mistake, i think i may have mistaken assertive for aggressive.
I may have systematically driven all my friends away.
Though it felt like before all that they were paying less attention to me, starting the vicious cycle. It may have been paranoia all the time, but my sister is very popular and is at college and has plenty of friends and has always been invited to things like 3 times a a week, and I get a call form 2 people a month
I love my friends I completely devote myself to them, they don't know how hard i try, to be a good person and a great friend to be there for them. it's like running a triathlon, but i keep dying at the 5k mark for some reason, thats why the feeling was driving me crazy, i think about them all time(not in a stalkerish way)
do i ever cross their minds
when my best friend had just been dumped by her boyfriend who she was insanly close with last February. she never even told me, i found out i think the next week, she called 3 of her friends 2 of whom she knew about a 1/4th as long as she knew me.
And she said she just didn't want anymore people to see her like that,
i said that was fine, and i didn't think about that till recently,
I didn't want her to call me so i could see her cry, i'm not like that
i just wanted to be there for her
and we all want to feel needed.
I'm not important,
no one ever needs anything from me
but three things
the time of day
money
and a ride somewhere
but I always give it, because I want to believe that I’m a good person, and so they’ll like me. It never works.
I don't like to be the center of attention and I don't need a lot of friends, but when i find someone I connect with I really crave their attention, I want to know that they need me as much as I need them.
Back to the whole being passive part. Are there people like me that just exist to serve the purpose of being storage containers for people's crap? because if it weren't for us scapegoats would there be mass riots of angry people taking their anger out at more angry people, taking their anger out at the other angry people by throwing bricks through their windows.
Would their have never been those riots in Alabama in the 60s if I had been there to take the blame and beg forgiveness and buy the blacks and whites sandwiches to make up for it.
The best way for people to unite is against a common enemy
Now I don't know if i should try and fix this, or be myself, and stop talking to them back and take all the freshmen to teraki chicken sticks for lunch.
there's something I’ve been told i did that have no recollection of
and we almost knew eachother for a decade, 7 months.
7-17 8-18
I can never argue to the point of yelling, because i could never stand someone hating me, why is it so easy for others. I know i can't please everyone, but I’m always too afraid.
Something i wanted to change, i always back down and avoid confrontations to avoid conflicts, even if I’m not the one at fault, i apologies and accept blame so that no one gets in trouble.
I wanted to be more assertive, i spoke with a tone, when i felt fowl, i fought for the last word, only once though,
Common mistake, i think i may have mistaken assertive for aggressive.
I may have systematically driven all my friends away.
Though it felt like before all that they were paying less attention to me, starting the vicious cycle. It may have been paranoia all the time, but my sister is very popular and is at college and has plenty of friends and has always been invited to things like 3 times a a week, and I get a call form 2 people a month
I love my friends I completely devote myself to them, they don't know how hard i try, to be a good person and a great friend to be there for them. it's like running a triathlon, but i keep dying at the 5k mark for some reason, thats why the feeling was driving me crazy, i think about them all time(not in a stalkerish way)
do i ever cross their minds
when my best friend had just been dumped by her boyfriend who she was insanly close with last February. she never even told me, i found out i think the next week, she called 3 of her friends 2 of whom she knew about a 1/4th as long as she knew me.
And she said she just didn't want anymore people to see her like that,
i said that was fine, and i didn't think about that till recently,
I didn't want her to call me so i could see her cry, i'm not like that
i just wanted to be there for her
and we all want to feel needed.
I'm not important,
no one ever needs anything from me
but three things
the time of day
money
and a ride somewhere
but I always give it, because I want to believe that I’m a good person, and so they’ll like me. It never works.
I don't like to be the center of attention and I don't need a lot of friends, but when i find someone I connect with I really crave their attention, I want to know that they need me as much as I need them.
Back to the whole being passive part. Are there people like me that just exist to serve the purpose of being storage containers for people's crap? because if it weren't for us scapegoats would there be mass riots of angry people taking their anger out at more angry people, taking their anger out at the other angry people by throwing bricks through their windows.
Would their have never been those riots in Alabama in the 60s if I had been there to take the blame and beg forgiveness and buy the blacks and whites sandwiches to make up for it.
The best way for people to unite is against a common enemy
Now I don't know if i should try and fix this, or be myself, and stop talking to them back and take all the freshmen to teraki chicken sticks for lunch.
there's something I’ve been told i did that have no recollection of
and we almost knew eachother for a decade, 7 months.
7-17 8-18
I can never argue to the point of yelling, because i could never stand someone hating me, why is it so easy for others. I know i can't please everyone, but I’m always too afraid.