My face

[jacksondoug3]

I get very preoccupied with my facial expression. It seems that by paying too much attention to myself causes me to look unnatural and creepy. When I'm comfortable and natural I've been told I look good. Most of the time, when I'm self-conscious I can hardly get someone to talk to me much less respect me.

Any ideas or mental exercises I can use to focus less on myself and more on the world around me?

Thanks!

 

[heretostay]

i dont know but i have the same problem! sometimes i get so concerned with my expressions that i know i weird some people out. but as i get older, i care less and less though. maybe its just coming to terms with who you are and not caring what other people think. im starting to come to terms with the fact that im a little weird- and a little off- but who cares? there's a guy downtown that walks around in a pink ballerina tutu and everyone seems to be ok with it since he embraces that about himself. so maybe as long as you dont care, no one else will.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

My ex-gf or wf said i looked really goofy when i'm having an orgaism...
It was relatively easy for me to not worry about my looks any more after a while.lol

What i'M saying is..if you can laugh or make fun of yourself already...what others thinks
about you won't hurt so much or you won't worry about it so much anymore.

errr..you know how goofy a girl looks when she's giving me a BJ?

All the women I've had relationships with asked me out.
Every one of them told me I'm a handsome guy and they all pretty much
used me as thier sex slave at one time or another.
Though I don't think I'm that good looking.

I'm asian. I been arounded rascism all my life.
I was talking to my ex-wf recently (she's cocasian), It stills
effects her deeply. She loves our duaghter very much and
racism is still alive and well in this world.

What I'm trying to say is...It dosen't matter what my expression is.
How self consious I am or not. I can't change the colour of my skin.
After a while..I bascailly don't give a rats ass what anyone thinks about me anymore...
You'll either accept me or you're not. I stopped trying to fit in...
However I've also been fortunate to be esxposed to a varietry of friends from all races and back grounds in my life.
I have to remember it...and not trip out when certain people don't accept me as I am.

My life and happiness dose not hinge on whether a person like me or not. It's almost natrual for me.
However it also depends on my enviorment. If I'm expose to people that hates me...it'll get to me after a while
if I don't catch myself and get cuaght up in other people's bullshit.

It's actaully easy for me to apply with the general populations or people.
However it's something I really need to work on when it's a personal relationship.

I have to be more aware that alot of the bullshit wasn't mine to begin with.
Other people's internal conflicts or low selfesteem being tossed at me to make themselves feel better.
So...did i had low self esteem when dealing with people that hates me...I think not.
I have to learn how to be clear about this.

What I'm saying is...maybe some of the women you're trying to hit on has internal conflicts themselve and
it wasn't you...

I have to learn how to be clear about this. Surrounding myself with poeple that cares about me and not
hate me will help greatly.

What I'm saying is...If you and I were friends in real life...If I care for you. It wouldn't really bother
me one way or the other. Your facial expression wouldn't even be an issue becuase I've accepted you
for who you are. And of course if you had problems like this you wanna talk about ...I wouldn't think
you're wierd, off the wall or judge you.

In a nut shell when I was with my gf, I didn't really give a rats ass what others think.
I've been fortunate in my life to have been with beautiful women to experince that...even though
racism was always right there slapping me in the face.

As far as been selfconsious or selfcentered...
Try meditations. It's bascailly an exercise of letting go of my thoughts.
And excercise of being in the moment. Being more aware of my surroundings.
Exercising being an observer of my mind and everything else around me.
Being in a peaceful state of being.

After some practice. You simply applie the same principle every moment
of your life. A living meditation sort of speak.

You can also try self-confidence or self esteem programs.

 

[Naval_Fluff]

I do the same thing I freak out when I think about how my smile might look goofy. Just don't think about it. When someone makes you laugh just let it go...but on another notes I have found myself scowling for no general reason People aren't nearly as fixated on others as we make them out to be. Im sure you look fine

 

[kevin_d'_lion]

hahahahahaha! I never knew that there are so many people who shares the same problem as I do, but what I usually do is that I relax and think normally, I dont overreact either. try it!

 

[SophiaGrace]

i only become self concious of my face when i think i might have crud on my teeth :/

 

[cheaptrickfan]

I think that relaxing the tension could help you a great deal. You could try some mental relaxation exercises as soon as you become aware that you're obsessing over your facial expressions.

Here is the start of my meditation routine: I begin with the top of my head and with each breath, I visualize all the muscles releasing the tension. I imagine it like waves flowing away. Then I move down my whole face, consciously seeing the tension ebb away. I hold a lot of tension in my jaw, so I spend some concentrated time relaxing that area. I find that if I haven't done this in a while, my tension headaches go up dramatically, so it's a good reminder to me to do it regularly.

Now you might want to stop once you get to the neck if you're just concerned with what your face is doing, but it's an excellent exercise to continue down the rest of your body and allow the knotted muscles and tension to drop away.

A lot of it is mental. These obsessions can grab hold of our attention, and that grip can be very difficult to break. With some effort at first, you can use the idea of mind over matter to break away from it.

I know it may sound hokey, but it has really helped me.

Good luck!

 

[Wyrm]

I used to think my smile looked kind of weird. It doesn't matter anymore to me.

In my experience, it's all in your head.

 

[PoisonFlowers]

I used to think my smile looked kind of weird. It doesn't matter anymore to me.

In my experience, it's all in your head.

I think my smile looks majorly weird. Then I get self conscious and it becomes worse. That's why cameras pointing at me tend to bother me. You're probably right about these things being in your head, but grr it's hard to get rid of thinking that way. Maybe it's because I feel uncomfortable that my smile looks so dumb :/

 

[Wyrm]

I used to think my smile looked kind of weird. It doesn't matter anymore to me.

In my experience, it's all in your head.

I think my smile looks majorly weird. Then I get self conscious and it becomes worse. That's why cameras pointing at me tend to bother me. You're probably right about these things being in your head, but grr it's hard to get rid of thinking that way. Maybe it's because I feel uncomfortable that my smile looks so dumb :/

Yeah, it's difficult to change mental things like that. I'm sure there are a lot of us here to have this odd little quirk. Until I saw this thread, I didn't know that there were others who would look themselves in the mirror and be kind of wierded out by their smile.

I laugh sometimes with my coworkers and other people, and none of them have said a thing about my smile. I realized that I really had no reason to think that way and completely unnecessary..... it was just a (negatively) warped view of how I express my own happiness.

I think it was more just a by-product of other issues that I had (depression, low self-esteem, self-loathing, very little self-value, etc). As if those problems don't hurt enough, they can sometimes materialize in odd and unexpected ways, in my own experience at least.