My problem...

[Creat1ve]

Hello guys and girls, here I'd like to ask for some advice or maybe help towards making a simple thing like friends.

I'll start by introducing myself, I'm Carlos and I'm 18 years old. I live in north\eastern part of Europe. I would call myself a nice person and I'd love to be with someone to share my feelings or thoughts. I will finish my school in a few weeks but I still can't stop wondering about one thing - why I have only two friends in my class...

I come from a wealthy family, however, I have always been ashamed of that, since I go to a public, not private school, because this one is the best one. My grades are really good, and people often come to me for some help, and I don't hesitate to help them. But that is it, all I ever talk with my classmates is how to do this and that, I have never been invited to any birthday or regular party, and it seems that people are avoiding me. I am not bad looking, nor am I strange in any way or bad towards other people. Whenever someone talks to me, I feel so good, on the other hand, it never lasts for long.

The thing that troubles and hurts me the most is the way people talk about me. They think of me as someone who used his money to get into this school and attain such grades. The guys always make fun of me, no matter what I do. In sports I never join any teams cause nobody picks me, and I don't know why. I am great at sports, my grade is 9 out of 10, and I'm basically good at anything I do. So what is the problem? Outside of school I have trainings 5 days a week, 7 times a week. I am in the national swimming team and I do martial arts. And I cannot socialize in any of my trainings either, because I have a private coach, which makes me even sadder. All I want is to lie down and eat some food, perhaps, spend time with someone. But I have nobody to spend the time with...

But it has not always been like this. I travel a lot, perhaps I've travelled every to every single continent on earth. And I was and I am able to find friends abroad, I have many friends from contries such as Japan, Brazil, Germany or Canada. I talk with them on Skype often and I feel that I am being liked the way I am. Girls always approach me, they talk and laughs with me, I even had my first kiss from a girl who comes from Japan! So... why can't it be like that here, in school. Why does everyone avoid me, why doesn't 't anyone talk with me? Why they think that I buy my grades with money, I am ashamed of it and I never talk about wealth or the status of my family... but still, I cannot get any friends...

I keep wondering, is it because of my family... What can I do, to change their opinions. How can I make them understand that I feel sad about this, that I really want to be friends with everyone.

My bad qualities are - I do not have much self-confidence in what I do, I am rather easily annoyed if people talk bad about me. Without doubt, I have more, but without any friends it's hard to understand what they are...

Please, maybe some of you could suggest something, I thank those, who bothered to read all of my pathetic whining, with all my heart.

With best wishes,

Carlos

 

[tehdreamer]

It's difficult when someone has pre-conceived notions about you. You really can't do anything about it until they decide to face you with a open mind and quit judging you before getting to know you. People assume a lot of things about me and it only makes them asses for doing it. The fact that you can make friends in other places all over the world means that you have a good personality and they are just missing out by not seeing that and judging you based on your parent's wealth.

 

[Luna]

Hi there Carlos,

You have quite a lot going for you: good grades, athletic, national swim team, martial arts etc.
Wow!
You have also travelled quite a bit...anyway, if you visit Canada again - I promise to be good company and I make awesome sammiches! I'll have Kokanee beer in the other hand for ya.

But back to your classmates...
I wouldn't be surprised if your classmates are jealous and resentful of all of your success. Perhaps it's easier on their egos to say that you bought your way in instead of recognizing all the hard work that you have put in.

Anyway, I understand how you're feeling down...it is lonely to have not a single person you can connect with. I go out often to eat and don't have anyone to spend time with either.

But you know what, regardless if it is jealousy or anything else; you can't please everyone. I wish I could give better advice, but trying to please everyone will only exhaust you. I have tried to do so myself, and it seems that people just are never satisfied.

The people who you can just be yourself without fearing judgment, are the people deserving of your best.

(Your post is not pathetic at all!)

 

[Badjedidude]

Kokanee? Nehhhh.

I still profess Baltika #9 to be the best beer in existence.

 

[freedom]

carlos,

it's not pathetic whining. there are a few things that i want to point out here. first, don't listen to what others say about you. learn to laugh in their faces when they say those mean things. it's not actually true that you've paid money for your grades, so why let it bother you? have you ever been annoyed by a bothersome fly? what did you do to it? you brushed it off and crushed it with a flyswatter. you need to do the same thing with these people's comments. people will always find reasons to ridicule those that are greater than them. they're just jealous. second, you mentioned that you don't have too much self-confidence in what you do. that's a huge problem. you need to believe in yourself and in whatever you do. when people see that you're confident, they turn to you instead of against you. they want what you have, and they'll do what it takes to learn from you, including be your friend. try and find people that have similar interests as you. for example, try and find other people that like to swim or do martial arts and talk to them or hang out with them. third, you're in a really good position and people will one day recognize that. i don't know what your parents/ancestors do for a living, but it's probably running some kind of business. if i were in your shoes, i would learn as much as i could about the family business and one day run it. then, those kids that make fun of you today will be asking you for a job tomorrow. best of luck!