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perfectlyflawed
Guest
Within the last year I lost my best friend because of my own stupidity. I ended up dating her ex boyfriend and she was mad about it and instead of letting him go while things werent too serious I didnt. I tried to keep her as a friend and keep him but it didnt work and she stopped talking to me. So within this last year ive been really lonely. The only person I have to hang out with is my boyfriend which I dont mind because I love him sooo much but I have to give him space and I cant rely on just him. I have a couple of people that I try hanging out with but I dont really connect with any of them not like I did with my ex-bestfriend . Its hard to replace a 12 year friendship. I tried connecting with her again but she wont have it even though I know shes just as miserable as me cause her sister told me. But lately Ive been worried because whats gonna happen if we split up. Things have been weird lately and I feel like he wants to dump me. Sometimes he treats me like honeysuckle because he knows ill accept it because I have no body else. I think I have really low self-respect I say this because my whole life people have told me how pretty I am and now thats all I care about and those words would mean so much if they just came out of his mouth with meaning. I constantly fresia my boyfriend because I want him to look at me. I want all of his attention focused on me and when he ignores me I get so upset. I just love the attention I even told him that I sometimes fresia him for attention and he got really mad but then of course like 10 minutes later we were having sex again. I just want him to listen to me and like being around me I dont wanna feel like I have his attention only when my face is between his ******* legs.
Im hoping since I start college soon that Ill make a friend cause Im really friendly and I love to talk if you couldnt tell.My boyfriend even tells me im always happy and thats what he loves about me. But its a lot of pressure to have a constant expectancy of happiness.
But anyways sorry for babbling its just good to get that all out when you dont have a friend to ***** to
Im hoping since I start college soon that Ill make a friend cause Im really friendly and I love to talk if you couldnt tell.My boyfriend even tells me im always happy and thats what he loves about me. But its a lot of pressure to have a constant expectancy of happiness.
But anyways sorry for babbling its just good to get that all out when you dont have a friend to ***** to