One crazy psychologist

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

Okay, whoever is singing that song, you better not hug me! Get away, I say!

I brought backup!

 

[Alonewith2cats]

Some people drink a sherry at christmas and nothing else the rest of the year. Some people drink Super Tennents and White Lightning from the moment they wake up to the moment they pass out. Why should hugs be any different?

You might not believe this but people do need hugs. They don't need alcohol. You might think this is nuts too.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

I believe she drunk a couple sherries before she wrote and sang that song!

 

[Minus]

 

[Runciter]

You might not believe this but people do need hugs. They don't need alcohol. You might think this is nuts too.

I hate to keep banging the same old drum but you do realize that not every one is the same as you, right? Sure, hugs are nice and all but they are a supplement to my happiness, not a requirement of it.
Sure, most humans don't need alcohol but alcoholics do. Trying to quit cold turkey from a large alcohol addiction can cause life-threatening withdrawal symptoms, so there are people out there who require alcohol. Have you considered that maybe you're just a hugaholic?
I have those 'free hug,' people in my city, I give them a firm "no." when they approach me. I've never been desperate enough for a hug to invite a complete stranger to share their germs and body-odor with me. A more appropriate requirement to my general well-being is personal space.

 

[Locke]

Hugs are nice. I don't think I need them to survive, but I'd rather have one every once in a while than go without.

 

[Shut_Out]

I really don't think most people, even the most social, get 4 hugs a day. Probably 1-2 at the most, and from a spouse, and probably not every day.

What a load.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

I used to get hugs a lot, when the kids were here. Not so much anymore.

I don't care much, because I don't like hugs. I prefer just talking and smiling.

 

[Alonewith2cats]

You might not believe this but people do need hugs. They don't need alcohol. You might think this is nuts too.

I hate to keep banging the same old drum but you do realize that not every one is the same as you, right? Sure, hugs are nice and all but they are a supplement to my happiness, not a requirement of it.
Sure, most humans don't need alcohol but alcoholics do. Trying to quit cold turkey from a large alcohol addiction can cause life-threatening withdrawal symptoms, so there are people out there who require alcohol. Have you considered that maybe you're just a hugaholic?
I have those 'free hug,' people in my city, I give them a firm "no." when they approach me. I've never been desperate enough for a hug to invite a complete stranger to share their germs and body-odor with me. A more appropriate requirement to my general well-being is personal space.

Yes, I understand some people are less touchy-feely than others and not everyone is the same as me and some people don't want to be touched, especially not by a stranger. But comparing a person's dependancy on alcohol, a harmful addiction, is not in the same category as a person who needs hugs which is beneficial to a person's emotional well-being, (I'm not saying all people are the same here). If I'm a hugaholic it's because I very rarely get one. Does that mean i have a "problem" or that I am an oxytocin "junkie?" No. I'm just deprived of it to a large degree.

I won't post about this anymore. Touch deprivation is one of the major contributors of my loneliness and I realize I can't expect anyone to understand and am more likely to be judged as "having an addiction that needs to stop." I can't just ignore my natural innate needs. It backfires if I try to.

I do however disagree with a song making people feel that they have to be getting 4 to 12 a day, especially if they can't.

 

[Runciter]

Yes, I understand some people are less touchy-feely than others and not everyone is the same as me and some people don't want to be touched, especially not by a stranger.

I'm glad you understand this. Perhaps you should just be a little more careful when making sweeping generalizations such as You might not believe this but people do need hugs.

As for my alcohol statement, I was never making a direct comparison. It was an analogy meant to point out that people have different reactions to the same things, be it alcohol, hugs or pretty much anything.

 

[edamame721]

Hmm...I don't think the psychologist was saying you absolutely need hugs to be happy or that there's something wrong with not liking hugs. I used to be a lot more standoffish as a kid. It's the concern, warmth, and love behind the hug that can make you happier. And you don't necessarily have to get these things from a hug or someone else, especially if you have all these things towards yourself.

 

[Jerasmussen]

Hmm...I don't think the psychologist was saying you absolutely need hugs to be happy or that there's something wrong with not liking hugs. I used to be a lot more standoffish as a kid. It's the concern, warmth, and love behind the hug that can make you happier. And you don't necessarily have to get these things from a hug or someone else, especially if you have all these things towards yourself.

"4 hugs-a-day, that's the min-a-mum, 4 hugs-a-day, not the max-a-mum ..."

Yep, she's saying you absolutely need hugs to be happy, specifically four or more per day. Now mind you, I don't hug my man-parts four times a day, so I'm certainly not about to start hugging random people on the street.

My verdict: she's a nutter....

 

[Alonewith2cats]

Is it a bad thing that I do need some hugs in my life to be happy? Not as many as she says but some. I guess there are some people that can live without them for a long time, like for months or years, not me.

 

[Unbinilium]

This seems entirely like the sort of thing a "pop" psychologist would say: It's positive and intriguing. Having actually studied proper psychology, I've come to despise the pop psychology that panders to the masses.

So far, this year, I haven't gotten or given any hugs (I know my family loves me and I them) but it makes me feel horrible when I see friends giving each other pats on the back, friendly jostles, and hugs to each other as greetings or farewells since I've never gotten any of that except once in my whole life.

I'm a guy but yeah, I hug my pillow when I'm feeling particularly down or when I sleep since I'd never be in a situation where I could affectionately hug a girlfriend affectionately. So... I make do with what I have.