Colette said:
Suicide doesn't work. It's very hard to kill yourself.
I'm sorry, but I'd just like to comment on that.
Isn't it amazing that with the fragility of life that a person can fail at killing themself? I just think it's amazing. I was reading the paper this morning, seeing all the notices of people that died yesterday. A man fell out of his boat, died of hypothermia. A woman drove her car into a tree, died of whatever. There were five or six of them like that. It's so easy to die, it's a miracle every moment we continue to exist.
I think that the reason it's so hard to kill yourself is because no matter how much you want to, your instincts don't want to die. As soon as your conscious mind is hurt enough that it can't subdue your instinctual will to survive then you have to stop. To kill yourself, you have to be dead before those instincts kick in.
And then there's those people that give up and just slip away. Maybe they're sick and just stop fighting it. Or whatever. They don't do anything specifically to kill themself, they aren't trying to die. They just stop living. And no power on earth can save them then, they're gone.
It makes me think, how amazing life is. But at the same time, it's not so monumental. It's just beautifully painful and indescribably sad, so perfectly imperfect that it makes me want to scream and cry, but at the same time I can't stop smiling. It's only important to those that are encompassed by it, but when one sees it objectively, one begins to understand how small and fragile we are, that the only thing that has trouble killing us is ourselves.
that had nothing whatsoever to do with the thread at all, sorry.
Back on topic, go find an abandoned furniture item on the side of a country road (they're everywhere) and take a sledgehammer to it. Actually, taking a sledgehammer to anything will help enormously. I used to beat kids up, so I can see where you're coming from. But the sledgehammer thing works. So does a hatchet, but not as well and don't make the same mistake I made (i.e. only smash stuff when there's enough light to see it still, and don't cut the tip off your finger).