Sick of all the lies

[lucrezia3333]

Recently I have been under a lot of stress and sorrow cause I found out my dad's been having an affair. It's not the first time, he's had one, only this time I found out that it might be more serious.

I'm currently still living with my parents, and I am able to cyber-stalk my dad, so obviously I found out numerous evidence on his facebook,skype, yahoo from this woman. My parents are married over 30 years. My dad's been spending for the past 10 years all of his time out of the house, giving the excuse we have an insermountable debt to pay and he has to work "so hard". The woman is a Philippenese house maid and she's one of his customers. All those times he kept telling us he's busy working etc was total crap.

What hurts me the most is that he doesn't care lately even providing for his family. He gives the excuse that his business dropped, when I know for sure he must be sending money to his Philippenese whore. She was deported a couple of months ago. Only to imagine I even met this woman.

It makes me sick to my stomach looking at him, even speaking to him. He's a ******* and a liar. The word 'father' no longer means something to me. I haven't had a proper human connection with my dad since I was 19 (now I'm 27).

I live under a lot of stress, since my brother's also abusing me from time to time (I'm seeking out professional help for that too). I don't know any more in what kind of a family I was raised in.

Everyone is abusing everyone, either physically or psychologically. I feel so betrayed and I've decided to start saving up to move out of the house by the end of the summer (I'm not getting paid a lot, and I have my dog who I also solely support).

I cannot stand living with a man, who has the audacity to call himself a father and lie straight to my and my mom's face. I even have the proof that he admits his affair.

My mom is solely dependent financially on my dad so its hard for her to get out and sadly I can't support us both.

I'm just so fed up with all this lying. In what kind of a world do we live in?!?

 

[Surcruxum]

The world keeps falling into darkness each and every day. A father who doesn't care about his own family is someone who I will never consider a father.

If I'm in your situation, I just use him until his usefulness has ended. Once I am able to get enough money, then I'll bring my mom. But it's hard to think what would happen to her if I'm gone.

Sorry for the unhelpful stuff. I'm just pissed off about your dad. I'm sorry the only thing I can do is to pray that your situation will get better.

 

[AnotherLonelyGuy]

...

I'm just so fed up with all this lying. In what kind of a world do we live in?!?

We don't choose our families. Best thing you can do is go independent.
As for what's happening in that house... Cynical advice(best advice):
- what your father did is not your problem, it's between him and your mother, they are a couple, so you stay out of it
- if your brother abuses you physically, report him to the police, he is just another human, after all, it doesn't matter what connection you have with him
- stop wasting your time by expecting other to behave, they won't, so you just keep yourself busy with things that have to do with you only (make money, leave that house, avoid contact with people that hurt you in any way)
- if your dog is hard to support, find a loving family for him, one with more financial possibilities, that would be best both for you and the dog
- accept reality as it is, stop expecting people to be one way or another, they are how they choose to be, you just take care of No.1, that is yourself

 

[TheRealCallie]

...

I'm just so fed up with all this lying. In what kind of a world do we live in?!?

We don't choose our families. Best thing you can do is go independent.
As for what's happening in that house... Cynical advice(best advice):
- what your father did is not your problem, it's between him and your mother, they are a couple, so you stay out of it
- if your brother abuses you physically, report him to the police, he is just another human, after all, it doesn't matter what connection you have with him
- stop wasting your time by expecting other to behave, they won't, so you just keep yourself busy with things that have to do with you only (make money, leave that house, avoid contact with people that hurt you in any way)
- if your dog is hard to support, find a loving family for him, one with more financial possibilities, that would be best both for you and the dog
- accept reality as it is, stop expecting people to be one way or another, they are how they choose to be, you just take care of No.1, that is yourself

That advice isn't cynical. It's actually good, logical advice. I would have said it a little different, but the points are the same.

 

[Nicolelt]

...

I'm just so fed up with all this lying. In what kind of a world do we live in?!?

We don't choose our families. Best thing you can do is go independent.
As for what's happening in that house... Cynical advice(best advice):
- what your father did is not your problem, it's between him and your mother, they are a couple, so you stay out of it
- if your brother abuses you physically, report him to the police, he is just another human, after all, it doesn't matter what connection you have with him
- stop wasting your time by expecting other to behave, they won't, so you just keep yourself busy with things that have to do with you only (make money, leave that house, avoid contact with people that hurt you in any way)
- if your dog is hard to support, find a loving family for him, one with more financial possibilities, that would be best both for you and the dog
- accept reality as it is, stop expecting people to be one way or another, they are how they choose to be, you just take care of No.1, that is yourself

That advice isn't cynical. It's actually good, logical advice. I would have said it a little different, but the points are the same.

It is good advice, especially, number one. My parents threw me into their divorce, and used me in it. Thankfully, I was older, and could understand that their relationship was actually not my problem. Yes, it breaks up the family unit, which sucks, but the actual problem has nothing to do with you.

 

[jaguarundi]

Do the best you can for yourself and your dog.

Don't get to thinking all men are like your dad or your brother, they aren't.

What your mum has to do to get by is up to her - choose your own way.

And you might be better not checking up on your Dad because I think it will only make you feel a lot, lot worse and there is nothing you can do about it.