grundel70
Well-known member
So you have never been with a girl?
Not even a date?
No intimate hug or kiss?
And you are how old?
I see a lot of posts here from people who are young (under 30 is young to me) that talk about how they have never been with a woman before. It seems to be a major source of their loneliness. They seem to feel as if they are the only ones who have not known the ‘pleasures’ of a woman. Maybe if they can just conquer that hurdle everything will be ok…
Let me first and foremost tell all of you that relate to this thread that I DO understand how you feel. I never had my first girl friend until I was almost 26 years old. I thought when I was around 18 years old that there was something wrong with me. I was an overweight kid and figured that all overweight kids would be stuck as virgins forever. I thought I was way too undesirable to even have a woman look at me.
That all changed though. I met a woman who was around 30 when I was in my mid 25’s. She knew I was shy, but liked how nice and polite I was. One thing led to another and then she became my first. My first girlfriend, first sexual experience, and first wife.
Our relationship did not last very long. It is quite common for your first to not last. Like everything in life you often need to try things several times before you ‘figure it out’. Yes, there are some that fall in love with their first, marry them, and then live happily every after! But rest assured that is not the norm.
Another first that I experienced with this was my first real and true heartbreak. It was one thing for me to feel sorry for myself that I never had a girl before, that I was unlovable. But let me tell you that it is a whole new level of pain when someone you love, someone you are intimate with, leaves you for someone else. I cannot describe it. Those that have went through it know exactly what I am talking about, and those that have not yet experienced it are in for the roughest and most depressing and lonely time you will ever know.
It took me almost 3 years to recover from it.
I share this experience to let you all know that if you are young, there is still so much time in front of you! Just when you think it will never happen…bam. Next thing you know your life will change forever.
However, there is one thing you will have to do. You will have to live life. You will have to leave your house/apartment/cave/lair and do stuff. I was pretty much a recluse myself when I was younger, but I did go out and do things. I would take my dog out and play. I would go to book stores and check out some of the books. I would go to the library. I would go bowling.
A young lady I once knew when I was a teenager I ran into again on myspace. She told me how handsome I was and how she had the biggest crush on me back then! I never knew! She was really shy too, but I do remember thinking how cute she was. She is since married and we are good friends now, but I use this as an example. I was about a socially reclusive as you can get. I was fat and considered myself ugly (in fact I still do). But even then I caught someone’s eye! If I had acted on my attraction back then many things would have been different. Maybe not better, but different…
I was afraid to approach her (or anyone for that matter). Fear dominated my life for so long. I did not want to do anything! I was afraid of what people thought of me. I was afraid they would make fun of me (and they did so often). I was afraid of rejection.
It took me until I was almost 30 before I started to overcome these fears. I remember the first time I walked up to a pretty girl and hit on her. I forgot what I said, but it was bad and she just laughed at me and walked away! Yeah, that sucked…but guess what? I didn’t die! It only hurt my ego for a little while. My friends at the time laughed at me, we had a good joke over it, and I moved on. Even to this day my best friend kids me about it!
I have approached others since then. No one has laughed at me, but I have been rejected just about every single time. But it doesn’t bother me anymore. I actually made a few good female friends that way. I still go long periods of time without dating. Like I said, I do not think I am very attractive and it seems I have to work extra hard to get a date. It seems I need to get ladies to see my charm or my humor. But I still try. I am no longer afraid to talk to people.
It is not easy! But I want everyone who is reading this to not give up! Don’t’ despair! If you are 19/20/25/etc… and never had a girl then you are not alone! It may seem like it, but trust me…you are not! Don’t be afraid to go out and live life!
If you want to be alone until the day you die, then stay at home all the time. Don’t ever initiate any conversations with anyone. Just wake up. Go to work. Come home. Watch TV/sit at the computer, and repeat. As long as you live your life within a box, then no one can see just how wonderful you are. No matter what type of personality you have, there is someone that will appreciate it!
Again, thanks for letting me ramble on! I don’t want to sound preachy, but this is just stuff I have learned from my own personal experience. I am no better than anyone here…in fact I dare say most of you have many advantages over me. I just want to try and help anyone that I can not make the mistakes I did, and try to help spread a bit of positive energy to the world.
Love you guys!
Not even a date?
No intimate hug or kiss?
And you are how old?
I see a lot of posts here from people who are young (under 30 is young to me) that talk about how they have never been with a woman before. It seems to be a major source of their loneliness. They seem to feel as if they are the only ones who have not known the ‘pleasures’ of a woman. Maybe if they can just conquer that hurdle everything will be ok…
Let me first and foremost tell all of you that relate to this thread that I DO understand how you feel. I never had my first girl friend until I was almost 26 years old. I thought when I was around 18 years old that there was something wrong with me. I was an overweight kid and figured that all overweight kids would be stuck as virgins forever. I thought I was way too undesirable to even have a woman look at me.
That all changed though. I met a woman who was around 30 when I was in my mid 25’s. She knew I was shy, but liked how nice and polite I was. One thing led to another and then she became my first. My first girlfriend, first sexual experience, and first wife.
Our relationship did not last very long. It is quite common for your first to not last. Like everything in life you often need to try things several times before you ‘figure it out’. Yes, there are some that fall in love with their first, marry them, and then live happily every after! But rest assured that is not the norm.
Another first that I experienced with this was my first real and true heartbreak. It was one thing for me to feel sorry for myself that I never had a girl before, that I was unlovable. But let me tell you that it is a whole new level of pain when someone you love, someone you are intimate with, leaves you for someone else. I cannot describe it. Those that have went through it know exactly what I am talking about, and those that have not yet experienced it are in for the roughest and most depressing and lonely time you will ever know.
It took me almost 3 years to recover from it.
I share this experience to let you all know that if you are young, there is still so much time in front of you! Just when you think it will never happen…bam. Next thing you know your life will change forever.
However, there is one thing you will have to do. You will have to live life. You will have to leave your house/apartment/cave/lair and do stuff. I was pretty much a recluse myself when I was younger, but I did go out and do things. I would take my dog out and play. I would go to book stores and check out some of the books. I would go to the library. I would go bowling.
A young lady I once knew when I was a teenager I ran into again on myspace. She told me how handsome I was and how she had the biggest crush on me back then! I never knew! She was really shy too, but I do remember thinking how cute she was. She is since married and we are good friends now, but I use this as an example. I was about a socially reclusive as you can get. I was fat and considered myself ugly (in fact I still do). But even then I caught someone’s eye! If I had acted on my attraction back then many things would have been different. Maybe not better, but different…
I was afraid to approach her (or anyone for that matter). Fear dominated my life for so long. I did not want to do anything! I was afraid of what people thought of me. I was afraid they would make fun of me (and they did so often). I was afraid of rejection.
It took me until I was almost 30 before I started to overcome these fears. I remember the first time I walked up to a pretty girl and hit on her. I forgot what I said, but it was bad and she just laughed at me and walked away! Yeah, that sucked…but guess what? I didn’t die! It only hurt my ego for a little while. My friends at the time laughed at me, we had a good joke over it, and I moved on. Even to this day my best friend kids me about it!
I have approached others since then. No one has laughed at me, but I have been rejected just about every single time. But it doesn’t bother me anymore. I actually made a few good female friends that way. I still go long periods of time without dating. Like I said, I do not think I am very attractive and it seems I have to work extra hard to get a date. It seems I need to get ladies to see my charm or my humor. But I still try. I am no longer afraid to talk to people.
It is not easy! But I want everyone who is reading this to not give up! Don’t’ despair! If you are 19/20/25/etc… and never had a girl then you are not alone! It may seem like it, but trust me…you are not! Don’t be afraid to go out and live life!
If you want to be alone until the day you die, then stay at home all the time. Don’t ever initiate any conversations with anyone. Just wake up. Go to work. Come home. Watch TV/sit at the computer, and repeat. As long as you live your life within a box, then no one can see just how wonderful you are. No matter what type of personality you have, there is someone that will appreciate it!
Again, thanks for letting me ramble on! I don’t want to sound preachy, but this is just stuff I have learned from my own personal experience. I am no better than anyone here…in fact I dare say most of you have many advantages over me. I just want to try and help anyone that I can not make the mistakes I did, and try to help spread a bit of positive energy to the world.
Love you guys!
I thought I was young at nearly 34. 
