surrounded by contempt and hatred

[Fergus]

I have the feeling that everybody hates me and my dream is dying.
I'm sure that a lot of people among my fellow students in the university hate me because I achieved something important whereas I didn't deserve this success. This is linked with competition and my loneliness (loners are black sheeps, aren't they?). I can sense this contempt everyday. I'm screwing this year, my moral is constantly low, and I'm lonely, of course.
Today I was told by the worst teacher ever that my dream will certainly be destroyed because I'm so bad in his subject. We hate each other silently. In fact a lot of students hate him and he despises many among us. But I feel surrounded by hatred. Even my former friends don't like me as I didn't go to their binge drinking parties or rarely called back (shyness...).
My success: I was selected like some other people to study abroad next year. That's my dream. But it's threatened by my unability to cope with the current situation and with my fear. I'm lying to my parents as I don't want them to worry about me or to hate me. I feel ashamed.
Forgive my English - sorry for this selfish text.

 

[Steel]

I have the feeling that everybody hates me and my dream is dying.
I'm sure that a lot of people among my fellow students in the university hate me because I achieved something important whereas I didn't deserve this success. This is linked with competition and my loneliness (loners are black sheeps, aren't they?). I can sense this contempt everyday. I'm screwing this year, my moral is constantly low, and I'm lonely, of course.
Today I was told by the worst teacher ever that my dream will certainly be destroyed because I'm so bad in his subject. We hate each other silently. In fact a lot of students hate him and he despises many among us. But I feel surrounded by hatred. Even my former friends don't like me as I didn't go to their binge drinking parties or rarely called back (shyness...).
My success: I was selected like some other people to study abroad next year. That's my dream. But it's threatened by my unability to cope with the current situation and with my fear. I'm lying to my parents as I don't want them to worry about me or to hate me. I feel ashamed.
Forgive my English - sorry for this selfish text.

First off.. congratulations on achieving your dream. I'm sure you were selected on merit.

It's possible that a few people will resent your success, but I would be surprised if its more than one or two people.. and that is their problem, not yours.

I wonder if fear could be causing you to imagine problems? Going abroad to study is a big life decision... and it would be only natural for any worry you have to create a few obstacles.

Carpe Diem

 

[Fergus]

Thank you for your answer

I was selected mainly because of my previous years' results. This year is going to hell in a handbasket. If I screw up this one, the dream is over. I don't want to spend much time in this cursed place. I'm SURE to sense a lot of contempt around, I'm not paranoid.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

My step sister told me not too long ago...how come we were the blacksheeps of the family or outcasted.
It was actully a good thing and the we weren't crazy that we saw the **** elephant in the living room
all those years..lmao

My father took my ass to go see the shrink after he unsuccessfully tried the beat it out of me...
I still saw the fucken elephant with 2 fucken black eyes..
The fucken shrink thought I was fucken crazy and tried to give me meds to make the elephant go away.
Nope..that didn't fucken worked. So they wacked me in the fucken head some more...now I see fucken
plarclus elephants everywhere.

 

[Unacceptance]

My answer to this is very simple: fresia them.

If that many people are pissed off at you, then you must be doing something right.

 

[Madelyne_Meunier]

You met the criteria to study abroad and therefore you earned it.

The other students may not understand you. They probably don't feel contempt/hatred towards you. If they do, that is their shortcoming.

People are often jealous when someone else succeeds.

Please don't let that dumb teacher drag you down. I regret that in the past I've let people's comments affect my feelings and stop me from doing things. (Still do it unfortunately).

I hope you do go study abroad. I missed my chance to do those things (and now I'm too old and can't afford to ).